Hornyitis

You really need to start getting your shit together here. You still have more than nine hundred and fifty wishes left and no clue how to reverse the accidents you've already had, let alone any more that might yet occur. Your trip to the magic shop brought you no solutions but one more problem. Not that a beautiful young woman who now lives in your giant mansion and will do literally anything you tell her to sounds like a terrible problem to have, but you aren't so immoral that you can't see it isn't right.

One thing that is quite interesting is that Avani, the latest addition to your household of highly sexualised hot females, acts completely differently around everyone else in the mansion to how she is with you. With the others she is very much her usual stroppy and sarcastic self, it's only when she interacts with you that all the "yes master, how may I serve thee?" nonsense emerges. It's a bit of a shame, as you weirdly enjoy her usual grumpy persona. It's cute, in an annoying kind of a way. If she could only retain that attitude but still do absolutely everything you say without question, Avani would be just about perfect.

For now, you want to get some kind of grip on your current living situation. You are not sure you should be encouraging your girlfriend to add four more 'hotties' to what she, and not you, is now openly referring to as your 'harem'. It isn't her fault, of course. You've lost track of how many accidental wishes Susannah is currently being influenced by, and you were so drunk for some of them that you've completely forgotten what they even were. She's a lot of fun as she is now, and seems to be enjoying herself, but at some point you will have to start setting things right.

Not until you have finished your naked sauna, though.

Susannah had asked you to choose any two girls you wanted to join you both. You decided to rule out anyone who considered themselves to be your property or personal slave (as you still aren't sure how au fait Susannah is with that particular brand of weirdness), along with anyone who is an immediate relative of your girlfriend, an adult entertainer you used to be obsessed with, or who never wears clothes anyway. That left Allegra, who is sitting naked next to your girlfriend opposite you in the sauna right now, like this was all perfectly normal and pleasant to her.

This is the first time you have seen your upmarket estate agent turned sexy butler fully uncovered and it is a sight you could definitely get used to. For the second spot, it transpired Susannah's friend Jodie had been able to move into the mansion at ultra short notice.

It is lovely catching up with her like this - while she's naked, sweaty and within touching distance of you, that is.

The truth is you've always had a bit of a thing for your girlfriends bestie. She is just a lovely person to be around - cute, giggly and easy to get along with. You have guiltily speculated to yourself on more than one occasion whether, if you had met her first and not shortly after you started dating Susannah seriously, Jodie might have been a better fit for you, relationship wise. You hadn't realised until very recently that your girlfriend had been fully aware and graciously tolerant of your inappropriate crush.

Well, she is being more than just tolerant of it now. In fact, it's quite apparent that she has already used whatever strange and specific mind fuckery powers you have drunkenly given her to turn Jodie into yet another Rorysexual. That means a threesome with your girlfriend and her adorable buddy is almost inevitable.

"Thanks so much for inviting me to live here, Rory. This place is incredible."

Jodie reaches out and strokes your leg as she speaks, her hand straying far too close to your dick for it not to be intentional. Inevitably, your member begins to stir at such attention.

"You'll have to get used to some of the unique quirks of our humble home" Susannah warns her friend "Which reminds me, Rory. How many of our residents have you fucked since we got here?"

"Just you!" you throw your hands up defensively, shocked at your partners bluntness.

"Just me?" she seems to be checking she heard you correctly.

"Yes! Just you, babe!"

"Then don't you think you should get a bit of a move on with everyone else?"

Huh? What was that supposed to mean?

"I didn't want to speak out of turn, Master Rory" Allegra says, while you try your damnedest to look at her pretty eyes and not her beautiful, bare body "But I was a little concerned we hadn't even discussed a time for us to have sexual intercourse yet."

"What? Why?" you ask in confusion "Am I missing something here?"

"Oh I don't know Rory, maybe a little thing called Hornyitis?" Susannah tells you, as if you are the most foolish person on the planet.

You have no idea what the fuck Hornyitis is. But you get the sense that another of your drunken wishes is about to be explained to you.

"Hornyitis is a non-life threatening but highly uncomfortable and potentially embarrassing condition that will effect any girl in this mansion whose body you haven't ejaculated into within the past seven days" Allegra explains, as if she were a doctor.

Holy shit. You came up with that? Even if you appear to be something of a degenerate monster when you are inebriated, you do at least have to give yourself some credit for creativity.

"And that can be bad can it?"

"I'd say so Roy" Susannah admonishes you for such a thoughtless question "Unless you think someone being uncontrollably aroused at all times until they get your dick in them is likely to be a pleasant or convenient experience?"

"If I might be so bold, I was thinking of putting together a rotor" Allegra suggests helpfully "That certainly won't preclude Master Rory from having spontaneous intercourse with anyone he wishes, it just means nobody gets left out. There are likely to be fourteen people living here when all the rooms are taken, that means thirteen of us Master Rory will need to attend to. That works out at nearly two a day."

"I'd probably like to go twice each week to be on the safe side, if that's okay?" Jodie pipes up "I'll worry otherwise. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac!"

"She's not wrong there. It was only a few weeks back she was convinced she'd come down with scurvy!" Susannah rolls her eyes as her friend giggles.

"Okay, that adds up to a nice and even fourteen then, for two a day precisely." Allegra notes.

"So, what, I have to sleep with everyone in the mansion at least once every week?" you check to make sure you have this right.

"At least twice in my case" Jodie reminds you with a wink.

"It shouldn't be too much hassle" your girlfriend shrugs, apparently completely fine with the idea "Especially if you multitask with threesomes. And it's not like you always have to go the vaginal route. Mouths and bum holes are fine too."

"Yeah, I guess."

This is fucking brilliant. Shameful and regrettable too, of course, But mostly brilliant.

"Why don't you start here now with these two?"

"What, you mean Allegra and Jodie?" you want to confirm, fearing you are being led into some kind of trap here.

"Of course!" Susannah tells you as if she is stating the bloody obvious "You've done me plenty of times already this week. I'm happy just to watch."

"If you wouldn't mind Rory, it would allow me to stop worrying and enjoy my first day here" Jodie smiles sweetly, her hand on your thigh again.

"I'd be ever so grateful, Master Rory" your butler adds.

Well, you would hate for anyone to get ill on your account.