Hillbilly home

The woman continued down the road as Sam peeked out over the side of the truck bed. Much to her dismay, she saw that the truck was heading even further away from the city. From the looks of it, it seemed like they were heading towards the outskirts and into the boondocks.

An assessment that turned out to be true as the truck turned into forested neighborhood with cabins and trailers. It was an entire village of hillbillies!

"The second I hear banjo music, I'm making a run for it." Sam muttered as she looked around the town.

Just then, the woman pulled up to an old log cabin near a pig stye, a chicken coop, a stable, and a river. On the porch, an old woman in her sixties was sleeping on a rocking chair before being startled awake by the forty year old slamming the truck door.

"Whozat?!" The old woman shouted, grabbing a shotgun from off the porch. Sam gulped and almost wet herself as she saw the old woman get up from her chair and glare at the truck. "Get off my property, ya darn hooligans!"

"Ma! Calm down!" The woman shouted, "It's Mary! Your daughter!"

"Dang gun it, Mary!" Ma shouted as she approached the truck, lowering her shotgun. "How many times do I gots to tell yall to make noise! We're ya looking for me to blast your darn head off!"

At this point, Ma turned and finally laid eyes on the cowering Sam. The elder woman smiled as she loudly asked, "Aw! And who's this lil feller? Did you finally take my advice and make a move on that handsome lumberjack that fancies ya? No wonder I haven't seen ya in nine months."

"Ma, you saw me at breakfast this morning." Mary reminded.

"Did I?"

Sam was stunned by all this. This old woman saw her, naked except a diaper, and she thought Sam was a 'lil feller'?! What the hell?!

Mary realized this to. Her mother was practically blind as a bat, so she must have saw the younger woman in a diaper and filled in the blanks. Just then a thought popped into her head as she smirked at the annoyance in the back of her truck before donning a concerned look.

"Actually, Mama, I found this youngin' on the side of the road on my way back from the city." Mary said, causing Sam to look at her in horrified confusion. "Poor lil' critter was bawlin' her eyes out something fierce. Reckon them city folk just abandoned her."

"Aww! The poor Dear." Ma cooed sadly. Then, with a determined look, she added, "In that case, she's stayin' with us! It'll be good to raise a youngin' again now that you and your sisters are grown! I'll go set up her bath!"

And with that, Ma hobbled off as fast as she could towards the side of the cabin, leaving a smirking Mary and horrified Sam behind. Once she was gone, Sam snapped her head towards Mary angrily. "Why the hell did you say that?!"

"If you're friends pulled this little stunt on ya, then I reckon that you did somethin' to deserve it." Mary explained, "And given how rude you were to me earlier, I reckon you probably did. Some good ol' country manners are exactly what you city folk need. However, Ma isn't exactly all there -"

"I gathered when she thought I was an actual baby." Sam muttered sourly.

"That's her eyesight, not her mind." Mary replied, "Anywho, Ma might go nuts and bring the pastor if you started talking. So... Don't."

"Screw you! I'm not playing your games!" Sam snapped as she climbed out of the bed of the truck, "You can't kidnap me!"

"Hey, you're free to leave if you want. None of my concern. But you got no way back until I make my second run into the city in five months."

"Oh no? I'm walking back to the city!"

"I wouldn't recommend it." Mary said, shaking her head. "Woods is dangerous in these parts. Even worse at night. Coyotes, bears, snakes, lions, polecats; no place to go wanderin' around."

"Fine!" Sam groaned as she rolled her eyes, not believing a single word of Mary's warning. "Then I'll just call a police escort to take me back and arrest you, your mom, and those bitches who abandoned me."

"No phones out here, Hun."

Sam growled angrily before sighing in defeat. Unfortunately, she saw no way out of this. She had to play baby for five months and pretend to learn this stupid "southern manners" crap. "Fine!"

"Good, cause here comes Ma now for your bath." Mary whispered as she went to get the groceries, gesturing to the old woman hobbling around the cabin towards them. "Oh, and just a heads up: We don't have that fancy indoor pluming. We have an outhouse when nature calls and a washtub for bath time."

Sam's stomach dropped as Ma got closer, her eyes widening. What did Mary just say?!