He jumps in with both feet

I bet you think this is another run of the mill “memoirs of a reformed Mickey Mouse gangster”, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. No reforming or repentance here, just survival. Looking back now everything seems so ridiculous and pointless, I mean all that struggling and for what. It was a test, a god damn test, and I failed. So.....I died, right there in my kitchen, all alone. Who knows who found me or what happened to the body, and let’s face it, I couldn’t give a shit. As it was happening, first came panic, then fear, and finally resignation as I slipped into darkness. Next thing I know, my eyes open and I’m alive....I think, and I’m standing in a line of thousands of people, in what looks like some type of office building of all places. After what seemed like an eternity, I get to the front of the line, and there is a woman sitting at a desk. She says hello, introduces herself as Demia and tells me to have a seat. Demia then proceeds to open a file and read out loud all of the boneheaded things I’ve done in my life, imagine my surprise, I started thinking “holy shit...this whole god thing is real”. It was a close assumption, but there turned out to be a lot more then just your average fire and brimstone wrath of god stuff going on.

Demia starts to explain the workings of the universe to me, I thought my head was gonna explode, all the while I’m searching my brain for an angle to play. Anything that could put me in a more favorable position. She says that she is what they would call in my dimension an angel, but in other dimensions they have many different names for her and her kind. Her people are the rulers of the universe, they bring order where there was once chaos, so I’m thinking right away....Aliens?!! It seems silly, but hey who knows, I mean it was a lot of stuff to process. She says that all beings are essentially conscious energy, and when that consciousness reaches enlightenment, that energy is allowed to past into the next tier dimension. There are 6 tiers, the last of which is the home of these so called “angels”. Apparently it’s a paradise of some sort that can only be attained by working your way up through the previous dimensions over time. If a being fails to reach the desired level of enlightenment, the are recycled back into their current tier to try again, a reincarnation of sorts. In any case whether you move up or stay on your current level, Your memory is wiped, you are returned to infancy, and you start all over.

I was informed that my dimension was tier 2, and that I have been trying to ascend to tier 3 for millennia, way to go me. A perennial loser, I sort of saw that coming. Apparently tier 1 is a savage wasteland of a place that all life starts from, and it’s the easiest to level up from. Behind The desk on the wall were two doors. The left door recycled you back, the right door moved your into the next tier. Demia politely concluded my performance evaluation, and ushered me to the left door. She wished me luck and opened the door for me. A blinding light was emanating from the space beyond the doors threshold, I shrugged, and stepped in.

The door closed behind me, and I was left alone in brightly lit hallway with a door at the other end. I looked back and the door I came through was no longer there, it was just a blank wall. I figured I might as well take my time getting to the other door, so I stopped walking and decided to reflect on my situation for a while. Honestly I felt tired, not like sleepy tired, but more of a weariness that seeped deep into my heart. I didn’t want to go through this life thing again, somehow I was vaguely aware of all my “past failures “ and I simply couldn’t bring myself to move forward. I realized that I had enough of this nonsense, and I wanted out of this crazy loop I was stuck in. At the very moment that I had this thought the hallway went completely dark, and I heard a voice in my head.

“Are you tired of this my friend? are you ready to move on? are you ready to hear the truth?"