-Happier (Marshmello Ft. Bastille)

John was immensely thankful that the shock of Mithra's sudden labor had cost them so much time. Loading the Nekos into the car would have surely been one of the Twelve Labors of Hercules were they awake and active, but the time between their arrival into this world and John's departure from the manor had left even Magnus struggling to lift a single paw. Tricia's ingenious design of a transitional carrier and stroller was beautifully executed, the extended legs folding almost effortlessly to allow for easy storage in the back seat. The only awkward part was how much the double-wide stroller took up, cramping Sophia rather awkwardly into the back seat.

Sophia never objected… but John didn't think the harpy was even capable of such a thing. All the same, it brought a certain warmth into his heart to see the way the normally stoic harpy was leaning over the edge of the carrier, gently stroking each Neko back to sleep as they took turns stirring during the brief ride home. It made him feel less bad about her other side being awkwardly crammed into the window and armrest of the closed door. John made a note to work on his ability to drive through Barriers - maybe one day he could craft a vehicle that was not legal on the streets of mundane Springfield but which could comfortably hold all his waifus. He was mostly grateful for the fact that the triple-row van the Order had loaned him now allowed Maera enough room to comfort her twin in the back seat. Mithra needed her rest more than anyone else, and if it were a double-row sedan, John cringed at the thought of Seras, Maera, and Sophia all crammed into the already stuffed seats.

Those concerns were, of course, not only mundane but irrelevant to his current situation. All the same, they allowed him to focus his mind on something other than the sirens blaring in his mind. Six new children. Six new children. Aside from the obvious concerns - mouths to feed, beds to make, cribs to carry Nekos into their toddler stages - John was still wrapping his head around being a dad. Father he was used to. Dad… that was somehow different.

Even by the time they had retreated within the confines of the Order's former outpost, even after warping into John's personal dimension, some tension remained within John. Mentally he was running over everything he had to do - everything he needed to accomplish. He had to figure out how to make plastic, didn't he? He didn't need to baby-proof the house since there was almost no furniture, but making a crib out of wood seemed like a bad idea when he factored in splinters. That meant he was going to need a lot of materials he wasn't used to farming, and Evellyn was still offline. He also had to do his best to research how Nekos grew, establish a more reliable source of food than the fruit and berry foliage scattered around his world, and maybe think about expanding his home… virtually all of which required Evellyn's help, especially if he wanted to actually plan out the layout of his home.

"I'm going to try to figure out where we can have a bunch of newborn kittens running around and see about blocking off a part of the house," John told Seras and Sophia as he made his way toward the house. The two barely paid him any mind, already occupied with spreading out the blankets once more and allowing the Nekos a sort of play area for when their energy inevitably returned. John could not have been more grateful that he had made his house overlooking the lake, rather than right at its shores - if there was one thing he didn't need to worry about at the moment, it was young kittens drowning themselves.

John mentally pored over the layout of his mostly emptied home as he stepped inside, figuring out the rooms. He didn't want to kick anyone out, but his creations had so far been pretty **** to lay claim to any of the rooms. Lunaya had claimed one of the first-floor rooms, but Sophia and Seras slept in his own quarters so often he wasn't sure they had really claimed any of the bedrooms. Maera and Mithra had the intelligence to understand personal space and private property, but like true cats, seemed to sleep in any available bed that wasn't currently occupied… it was a frustratingly cute trait for them to have.

"Well, if Seras and Sophia would like the rooms closest to me," John theorized, "then the second floor is basically out of the question; there wouldn't be enough room left. So if I assume Maera and Mithra don't actually care, I could take the rooms to the right of Lunaya's quarters, knock down a few walls, close off a couple doorways, and establish a sort of nursery until we gather the materials to-"

John cut himself off as he strode behind the staircase, concerned suddenly by the noises he was hearing. They were unusual, unlike most anything John had stumbled upon before. He narrowed his eyes as his thoughts of rooms and nurseries and children trailed off, his mind honing in on the sounds now assailing his ears.

The most obvious of sounds was a slight gasping, airless and breathless, as if someone had interrupted their marathon to try hiding behind a curtain and concealing themselves. The noise struck a chord with John, but he didn't stop long enough to consider exactly what the implications were. Instead he stepped forward, and when confronted with a closed door in his own home, John opened it without a second thought.

It was a decision he would come to regret over many a troubled night, but not one he had the reaction speed to stop.

The sight before John was not something he had ever anticipated. It wasn't exactly something he could say was unwarranted, but it was definitely something unwanted. John's eyes beheld a scene not unlike one he had once stumbled upon, only more intense, more passionate… more damning.

Lunaya sat upon a table very intimately familiar to John. But where once she had been receiving a massage, where once John had only seen an interloper crossing boundaries he'd never firmly set, now she sat upright… proud, prideful, with wild abandon of ecstasy splayed across her face. Rather than hands tracing across her back, John saw hands and mouth placed all too delicately across the Canid's nethers, the unnamed butler that had already garnered so much of John's hatred moving carefully and purposefully between the Reaper's legs, every stroke and movement of his flesh made with the intent of inducing as much pleasure as possible. Well, for Lunaya at least.

For when the shock wore off, when the moment of witnessing Lunaya being stimulated by another man eventually subsided enough for John's conscious mind to process it, a primal rage filled him. An anger with no rational cause but only instinctual hatred began to grow, and John's eyes would have witnessed a pair of intimidating notifications had he the mental fortitude to bypass the words that flew from his lips.

"You will stop what you are doing…"

Status Effect Gained: Shard of Bishamonten [50%]!
Passive Skill Gained: Overflowing Aura!
Overflowing Aura: The user's aura radiates with the energy of a known spell. This spell inflicts 1% of its normal, minimum effect every [1 Second .001 (User's Speed)] to all targets within 100 meters. Can only be used with spells with an instant effect, not a delayed or sustained effect such as heal/damage over time, illusion spells, or drain spells. This consumes no mana, but cannot be changed once the ability is activated. Current Spell: Fire Orb {Currently dealing: .304 damage/second to all targets}
Overflowing Aura **** Level 0 Perk Activated: Targets cannot be selected, randomly selected offensive spell only.

System Alert: Shard of Bishamonten -- 75% Activation

"…and you will leave this house at once, or so Gaia help me…"

Shard of Bishamonten: 25% Integration
Mana & Health Regeneration Restored!
World Shift & Summoner's Warp Available!

"…I will end you before you utter so much as a single word."

John didn't remember opening his inventory. He didn't remember retrieving his newly forged blade, or pointing it so nakedly at the demon before him. Honestly, he hadn't even processed a single letter of the notifications that had scrolled before his eyes at what felt like a lightning pace.

The only thing he noticed after his rant, the first thing he truly processed, was the moment when the pale-skinned man who had caused him so much ire turned toward him. Their eyes met for only a moment, John's gaze filled with as much hatred and venom as his words, before the man offered a short bow and strode from the room in complete silence. John thought of striking him as he passed, thought of turning and slashing, over and over, until nothing recognizable remained. Two things kept him from doing so.

The first was a subtle, almost **** aversion to the Shard's demands. It was a violent thing, a primal thing, and it was only through the grace of Gaia and his genuine moral beliefs that he had never done something he regretted during its urges before. But none of that mattered. At that moment John could have slaughtered a city in the name of quenching the righteous fire burning within him. What staunched his wrath, what truly disturbed him…

It was Lunaya's gaze. It was the way that she looked upon him. John had seen Lunaya's eyes when she thought he was a bastard or a monster. It was the way she had looked upon him at first after she was Purified, when he ripped her away from her family and took away her voice. John had seen the way that Lunaya looked at him when she thought he was a fool, ignorant, or simply an idiot making the wrong decision. He'd seen that look several times during his days caring for the Nekos, and he had worked all the harder to prove his devotion to them before she started to respect his loyalty to them.

John did recognize the look that Lunaya gave him, but it wasn't one she had ever given to him before. All the same, John had seen variations of it many times before. On the gaze of tied Cabal soldiers as he mercilessly slaughtered them for the sake of saving Moira when he had no one else to rely on. In the eyes of countless Barrier creatures as his blade sank into their flesh. Most recently… in the eyes of a certain Willow Bianchi, as her skin began to freeze, her flesh to shatter, and her bones to crumble into ice shards, her life ebbing away beyond her control.

It was the hateful, spiteful look of someone who knew their life was about to end, but had no control over it. The gaze of someone who felt their fate was undeserved, who met it with every ounce of resistance they could muster, even if they knew it was inevitable. It was the look of someone who would curse their slayer with every fiber of their soul for all of eternity in their afterlife.

John had faced that burden without flinching before. None of those gazes had stopped him, even when it had been within his power to do so. To see that look, to see that intensity and hatred, from someone he called family… that was what stopped John from cutting down the demon before he cleared the room. That was what eventually wrought the dreadful words from John's lips.

"Why… why are you looking at me like that?" John asked. His inner feelings, whirling as they were, settled on indignation. He felt the hatred that had been spiked by the Shard rising up, and spat his next words without care.

"Why are you being so protective of him?" John growled, pointing accusingly with his empty hand at Lunaya. "You were just as upset when I chased him away last time… and this time, he has gone even further! What right does he have to do these things?!"

Lunaya stood from the table, approaching John slowly. His heart beat all the faster as she approached him, but he **** his twitching limbs not to respond as she slowly extended a hand. Gently, Lunaya wrapped her fingers around his temple, and at once John's vision shifted.

---

"It seems that your so-called Lord has been delayed. It's very nearly midday, and he has not returned. You still seem quite upset by the loss of your friends, milady… might there be anything I could do to ease your stress?"

The butler's voice was unmistakable, but John's vision and mind were not his own. The world felt sharper than normal, his nose picking up odors he might have otherwise missed. His body was…

It only took another moment's thought for John's blurred mind to recognize that he was in one of Lunaya's shared memories, experiencing her past through her own perspective. Lunaya reacted to the demon's words by settling herself on the elevated table, twitching on the smoothed wood and cloth-covered surface.

"You grow restless every time that these 'Nekos' leave the realm with your so-called Master. You say he has his reasons, but I do wish he would consider more how their absence affects you. You are a truly caring individual, which makes it all the harder for me to serve you. I can do many things, but deceiving you with illusions of your loved ones is forbidden by my very service."

John witnessed Lunaya, through her own perspective, shifting her stance. Her legs spread slightly, and her hands made a motion toward the butler that was too far out of her peripheral for John to perceive.

"Ah, you would prefer a more direct distraction?" the man said, his ruby eyes glinting. "Well, such a thing can certainly be arranged. Please, allow me to…"

---

John shook his head with so much **** he feared for a moment he had snapped his neck, violently freeing himself of Lunaya's touch and her aggravating memories.

"So… you asked for it then? What, was I not- were you not happy with-"

John stunted his spewing of insecurities, his hatred of the very idea of what he was seeing. All the same he could not bear to open his eyes, not stand to see Lunaya looking at him as she had only moments ago. Caught between his inability to face what he had seen and his refusal to accept it, John did the only thing he could do. He kept his eyes clenched shut as he questioned the very reasons for his visceral reactions, trying to listen to himself for a moment, rather than the Shard's influence.

"Why would you do this? Why would you give into such impulses? We were gone for a day, we were only out to ensure the safety of Mithra's children! We never abandoned you, we never-"

John, in his increasingly unstable state, would have avoided the hand coming for him if he'd seen it in time, but the same rising anger and shock that had brought him to this state kept his growing warrior's instincts from kicking in. The second he felt the palm slap across his temple, his mind was not his own again, and he was seeing through Lunaya's gaze once more.

---

"Sorry, Lunaya, no time - I have to get faster. Kim almost died on me because I was de-leveled when we trained; I need to make sure I'm not so slow the next time I take someone into a Barrier."

This time it was John's own voice, exasperated as it was, that greeted him on arrival into the memory. Seeing himself from another's point of view was a bit wild, but only lasted for a few seconds before the memory version of John gave a quick wave and vanished into what could only be another Barrier. John heard a muffled huffing sound, Lunaya's vision slumping slightly and wobbling as she shook her head.

"Oh dear. Explaining your frustrations must be quite difficult when he does not bother stopping long enough to hear them. Especially given your difficulty in communicating… would you like me to alert him the next time he stops by? I could ask him to attend to your needs more directly."

A muffled sigh escaped Lunaya, so low that if John weren't seeing things from her perspective he might have missed it. The infuriating voice of the demon butler proceeded all the same, as if the noise had been clear as day.

"Very well. Can I assist you in any other way at this time, Lunaya? If not, I would gladly take myself elsewhere - thanks to your creator's training, there are many dwellings currently unoccupied with-"

John saw through Lunaya's own eyes as the Canid whirled, doing a full turn that left John's mind spinning slightly. She wrapped her arms frantically around the demon, pulling him all the closer to her. Smiling softly, the man turned back toward her. As much as John wished he could see it, there was none of the arrogance or cockiness that he always saw in those ruby irises present now. It was only a soft understanding.

"…Very well. I'll stay here, then. As long as you need me."

---

"Why him?!"

The words were perhaps harsher than he had wished. Perhaps more aggressive, perhaps too hateful. But he had said them, and he couldn't say there was no honesty behind the spitefulness.

Lunaya didn't bother to respond, verbally or otherwise, save to raise her hand again. John fought to pull away, but it was a half-hearted effort, and Lunaya's palm found his temple with ease.

---

John's gaze travelled up from the barren floor slowly, methodically, with an alertness that it did not possess in the other memories. In Lunaya's body again, John felt something he hadn't before when she shared the other memories.

Fear.

Sounds were coming from outside the closed door, but nothing he recognized. There were no voices, no energetic and haphazard footfalls of playful Nekos, no banter between a loving master and his eternally competitive vampire and harpy lovers. It was only a soft, persistent set of steps that paced around the dwelling, stopping by one door after the other.

Lunaya readied herself as best as she could as the steps grew ever nearer. She had no window in her room to escape from, and the steps were now growing too close to be able to escape the house before the intruder would be upon her. Lunaya held up her arms, and through her gaze John watched as her razor-sharp claws extended with purpose.

The door did not burst open, did not even slam against the wall. It opened at a slow pace, a single, gloved hand slowly pressing the wooden slab until it would move no further. Lunaya backed up against the far wall as a man stepped into the doorway, his figure unfamiliar to John. Short, spiky blonde hair, a lithe and thin but not at all muscular figure draped in form-fitting athletic wear… John had no idea at first who the man could be.

"Ah, so this house is not abandoned! Splendid, I had begun to think that my summoner was deceased… it's always such a hassle to perform one's own dismissal, all the worse when you realize your summoner has not become deceased, but rather abdicated the premises, so you must track them down and- I'm sorry, you seem particularly frightened. Are you not the one who summoned me, then?"

Lunaya's gaze moved in a way John could only interpret as shaking her head, although her eyes never left the man. The crimson irises fell away from sight briefly as the strange man sighed and shook his head, only returning his gaze to Lunaya after taking a remarkably deep breath.

"Well, I can't pinpoint something pinning me to this realm… but all the same, I cannot seem to recall myself to my personal section of Hell. Most peculiar. So long as I am bound here, I will require a master or mistress to sustain myself, and ideally to continue my growth. Would you consider offering me your services as-"

The man extended his hand but quickly retracted it before Lunaya swiped her paw across the space where it had been only a moment ago. The man did not seem overly offended, only curious as he smirked and slowly knelt to the floor.

"You seem quite suspicious, but I can tell by the way that you look at me you understand my words. If you did not call me here, I can certainly believe you would be confused and startled by my appearance. If you have a history of strangers causing you harm or wishing you ill, I can obviously understand why you would take such offence at my entrance here. Let me begin by assuring you that I did not intend to intrude upon your territory - I was simply attempting to locate my summoner. If they are not here, they have missed their chance to bind me against my will, thankfully. I would pledge myself to your service, if you would have me."

Kneeling there on the ground, slowly extending one hand toward her, the man raised his eyes again.

"I can offer you everything within my power, and those possibilities will only grow the longer I am within your service. I ask nothing of you, and will give you everything in return. I offer you only honesty - my powers grow by serving, by providing pleasure and happiness. I value my own life, and I will not die for you, but I would do anything else that might so much as make you smile. It is my purpose in life to bring pleasure."

Lunaya didn't react, didn't move. If anything, John felt as if she were ready to take another swipe at him. This didn't seem to deter the strange blonde man.

"If you will not have me, I can seek out another who will - I am not seeking to **** myself upon you; that goes quite against my very being. I do not wish to burden you in the slightest… but I cannot help but note you are alone here, in this large home. If my summoner has left, you must surely feel quite lonely. I can promise that, as my mistress, I will always be by your side. I will never abandon you, never value any bond or vow as much as that I make to you. I will never obey a word more devoutly than yours, and never place another's wishes above your own."

The man's hand grew closer, and though John willed himself to snap out of it, a morbid curiosity brought him to see what happened next. The man's fingers touched on Lunaya's cheek and his form began to mold. His hair lengthened, tamed itself, and grew as dark as the night sky. His clothes shifted from spandex and elastic to an impossibly perfect-fitting suit, right down to the golden chain hanging from a pocket. His gaze grew more elegant, his form more coordinated, his visage as sophisticated as the one John knew.

It was the butler, unmistakable and irrepressibly proud as always.

"Allow me, and I will swear myself to you, Lady..."

Lunaya reached out a hand and touched upon the demon's cheek in the same way he had pressed his own to hers. A light passed into his eyes as Lunaya passed her own memories into him.

"…Lady Lunaya, then. A perfect name."

---

"What, that's it?" John spat, trying to summon up some of his vile hatred again, but couldn't put the same vitriol behind it as before.

Status Effect Lost: Shard of Bishamonten [50%]

"You swore yourself to him because he was here? What about what we had, what…"

John trailed off, flinching away from Lunaya's incoming hand but unable to find the will to escape another set of visions.

---

John didn't see a coherent memory this time, as much as something far more painful. It was a collage of sorts, a collection of bits and pieces of memories from the past - all of John leaving. Disappearing into a Barrier, returning to the real world, or simply exploring the newest additions to his private world. Never alone. Always with Seras, usually with Sophia, and sometimes with the Nekos. Those were the worst, because those were the longest fragments of memory… because when John disappeared, when the Nekos came with him, Lunaya did nothing except look around at the space where they had been.

Once, just once, he thought he heard her start to cry. There could have been more, could have been a dozen memories after that… but that was all John had the heart to hear before he shook himself out of the trance.

---

"That was different," John spat, "I have a family. I lived in another world. Even when that wasn't why I left, I did all of those things for you, for the Nekos, for our world. I'm trying to make this a better place to live - one where you won't have to be alone. Besides, aren't you the one who hates fighting? So much so that you'd rather train hard, and-"

Lunaya didn't say anything as John retaliated to her latest memories. In fact, she was nodding along with him. That's what made him finally stop. What made him consider why he was actually angry.

Status Effect Lost: Shard of Bishamonten [25%]
Status Effect Lost: Shard of Bishamonten [10%]

"…And you'd rather be alone than see the people you care about get hurt. You'd rather sit here and worry about us than actually see us out there, suffering. And I'm angry because you found someone who can stay by your side while you make that difficult, hurtful decision."

Lunaya glanced up at him, her eyes mournful, not something he had expected to see. He wanted her to be resentful. He wanted her to be spiteful. It would have made his anger easier if it were returned. Seeing how low she was now, and imagining how low she had been during those memories… it made the primal jealousy that John felt then like a dying ember compared to the intensity of that loneliness he could imagine, could feel, even if only for a moment.

"And here I am… here I am angry because I'm not the only thing you have. How fucked up is that?" John scoffed, shaking his head. "Here I am wishing the only person you have to rely on was someone who leaves you alone for hours - sometimes days - at a time. I'm… I'm sorry, Lunaya."

John seated himself on the table, wrapping an arm around the Canid Reaper, feeling Lunaya's warmth against his own. They sat in silence for a long while. John wasn't counting the time, too busy examining his own feelings, trying to process what he wanted to say next.

"I'm… I'm not going to stop you from doing whatever you want," John finally let out. "Honestly, we never really had anything, did we? We shared a few moments together, but… it wasn’t the same as with the others, I can recognize that. We didn’t really have a relationship, even if we did share a few moments together… we never discussed it, I don’t even really know right now if either of us ever really wanted it. I can’t pretend to hold you to some standard we never established… and that I certainly didn’t adhere to. I don’t know why I feel so hurt, but that’s my issue. I’ll work on it.

“But I don’t want to continue whatever it is we did have. I'm not comfortable with sharing you with him. Maybe it's how we were introduced, or his personality. Maybe it's this Shard. Maybe it's just not something I can do. But that's my issue, and you're my friend, not my ****. I'm sorry I made you suffer so much before, left you alone so much. I'm… I'm not happy about this, I won't lie and say that I am… but I'm at least grateful you won't sit alone and sad here anymore. I'll build a new house. One far away from this one, one where these shared living quarters won't be an issue anymore. I'll, uh, I'll do it tonight. I don't think… I think I might lose it if I walked in on this again all the same. You can stay here until-"

John was halfway off the table, his mind already set on taking out his conflicted and frustrated emotions on a few hundred Treants until he had the wood to build a second home and repair the scorched floorboards from his Shard-induced wrath again. Just as his feet touched the floor, though, he felt fingers wrap around his temple once more.

---

"That was different," John saw himself spit into his own face, "I have a family. I lived in another world before this."

The vision shifted from John's words moments ago, travelled further back in time. Now John saw himself leaning over Lunaya, holding her close in a dark night brightened by a newly born full moon.

"But I promise you, I will master this ability, and the second I do… if you trust me, Lunaya, I promise I will give you your voice back."

---

"After all that, you want to make this about-"

John cut himself off, feeling that same anger rise up, but not wanting to say something he'd regret. His heart wasn't in it anyway… because he knew it had never been about that. Lunaya was just scared about being stuck as she was. Silent… and until now, often alone.

"Don't stress. Don't worry. Don't be afraid," John whispered, turning around and returning Lunaya's gesture - putting his hand gently upon her face. His anger had faded into a sad numbness, and he gently tugged at the Canid until he was cradling her head against his chest. "I never made these promises, I never tried to make you happy, to get you into my bed or to win your heart. I didn't promise you your voice because I thought it would make you love me, or make you forgive me, or whatever you think I wanted to gain. I did it because it was the right thing to do. It still is. And… yeah. If I can find a way to bring your family here, I will."

John chuckled as he pulled himself away, striding toward the door.

"If there's one thing you can count on John Newman to do, it's the right thing… no matter how much it fucking sucks."