Hank Pym's Cum Is In Sue's Mouth

It had to be Reed's. It had better be Reed's. Sue Storm told herself that as she marched into her husband's lab, the breadiverse incident safely contained behind her. She found Mister Fantastic staring at an empty plastic cup with a frown.

"Oh, Susan," he said, looking up. "Were you in my lab last night?"

The Invisible Woman came to a halt, blinked.

"I was asleep. Why?" she asked.

"Hank Pym sent me a collection of sperm samples. I think he's been saving them for month. Apparently he had the idea of creating a genebank for the production of future geniuses, but was afraid he'd go off his meds and thought they would be safer at the Baxter Building," Reed said. "However, one of the containers is empty."

Sue felt the sudden urge to retch. Her hand went back to her stomach.

"Reed," she said, when she could breathe again. "Do you have security footage for the lab last night?"

The pair watched in silence on the screen as Sue Storm, naked, walked into the lab. Running her hand on various pieces of equipment. How she had found the unlabeled container, drank it, and then made a face and wandered off.

"I have no memory of any of that," Sue Storm said.

"You don't appear to be sleepwalking," Reed said, rubbing his chin. "But the way you entered the room—it's like you'd never seen it before. And you drank an unlabeled container. That's not something you would do."

"So what are we looking at?" Sue asked. "Skrull? Neural parasite? Possessed by the ghost of an ancient pirate slut?"

"That would let me test the spectral containment unit," Reed mused. "But I'm afraid there's nothing for it but to spend the morning testing possibilities. I know it's an imposition, dear, but please strip and step into the probulator."

Sue Storm sighed. Still, there was nothing else for it.