Haha, no.

Nothing seemed to go smoothly after you woke up from your sleep, thanks to an explosion from God knows where, followed by alarms blaring all across the base and the panicked shouting of Chaldea staff.

As it turns out, someone had rigged a bomb underneath the rayshift area, sending all the master candidates, excluding you and Ritsuka, to a good old comatose state or afterlife. Not only that, but Ritsuka had somehow been rayshifted to the minute singularity originally meant for rayshifting practice.

You didn't know if a burning city filled with living skeletons and evil servants was fitting for training or not, but whatever.

Thankfully, Mash Kyrielight, now a demi-servant wearing an outfit that could be described as an armored high-leg swimsuit and armed with a giant shield, and Fou, the Chaldea mascot, had been there with Ritsuka to protect her.

After that, they fought against skeletons; yada yada, saved the director, who had somehow been there as well; yada yada, encountered a hooded guy; they teamed up to fight King Arthur, who was somehow female, and won. They came back safely to the applause of the surviving Chaldea staff.

Haha, no. Reality wasn't that kind.

You watched in horror from the safety of the command room as Olga Marie was pulled toward the miniature sun of Chaldeas, with Ritsuka and Mash Kyrielight helplessly trying to take hold of Olga Marie's floating body. Their effort was fruitless, as Olga Marie's figure evaporated upon touching Chaldeas.

Okay, shit just got real.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You could only offer a weak hug to Ritsuka when she came back. She was just a normal girl before coming here. You didn't need a psychologist's license to know that witnessing something like what she had would potentially lead to PTSD. You felt impotent, as you could do next to nothing for her as she went through the motion.

You hadn't touched the rule book for quite a while now. As much as you wanted to mess around, the decimation of Chaldea forces along with the incineration of humanity just killed your libido. That could wait later, when the situation stabilizes.

So you spent your day helping around the base, repairing stuff, taking note of available supplies, and, of course, Master training. Weeks passed, and before you knew it, you and Ritsuka had been summoned to the control room.

"We will do the summoning ritual now." Doctor Roman, the acting director of Chaldea after the **** of Olga Marie, gave you and Ritsuka an encouraging smile. "Both of you will summon one servant each. In preparation for the First Singularity in France, we have tweaked the parameters to allow only Heroic Spirits who are applicable for that singularity to be summoned."

"So we will be summoning a French Servant?" You asked.

"French female servants for you, John-kun." You turned your attention to the Monalisa-looked-alike, the Heroic Spririt Leonardo da Vinci, who, by her admission, turned herself into a female. "You know that you can only summon female servants, right?"

"Uh, yeah." So people would know about the old rules even if they didn't affect them directly. "So French woman. Jeanne d'Arc? Marie Antoinette?"

"There are also Charlotte Corday and Bradamante."

You didn't know who the fuck those were, but you nodded all the same at Doctor Roman's words.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." Ritsuka cheered. "We'll be in your care, Mash. Make sure you power that shield right."

"Yes, senpai!" Mash nodded obediently before turning to you. "G-good luck to you, John-san."

"Call me senpai too."

"Uhm, that's a little." Mash awkwardly mumbled.

"Hahaha! You got rejected!" Ritsuka jeered as she rubbed her cheek with Mash's. "Mash is my kouhai; too bad for you, kouhai-less John."

You acted like the bigger man and kept your calm. Internally, however, you made a note to add a rule to have the right to spank Ritsuka and Mash, along with dictating their masturbation habit later.

Returning your focus to the summoning ritual, you took a deep breath. This would be the start of your journey. Better not mess it up.

"Are you two ready?"

You and Ritsuka nodded at Doctor Roman's question and pushed your mana into the summoning circle. In a second, your mana condensed into a circle of light, shining brightly and compressing before expanding again.

The control room was bathed by the bright light, and by the time the light faded, two figures were kneeling on the floor beside Mash's shield, which acted as a summoning circle.

The first servant quickly rose to their feet and stood up proudly, a sword on his shoulder. His well-featured face and golden blonde hair quickly planted him as a charming prince type of character.

...Until you saw the rest of his attire, that was.

"Servant, Saber! I'm Roland! I have an established reputation for the sturdiness and physical strength of my body, my handsomeness, and also my nudity! If Master gives me permission, I'll strip right away!" The servant, Roland, tapped his chest with confidence.

"You are already naked." Ritsuka answered plainly while covering Mash's eyes.

"Your servant's an exhibitionist." You made a dig at the clearly disappointed Ritsuka.

"That is wrong, my boy." Roland interjected and planted his hands on his hip. "I am just a nudist!"

"I don't see the fucking differences." You sighed and turned to the kneeling servant. She was your servant. You kneeled in front of her and looked at her face.

She was beautiful. Too bad she was clothed. If you had any choice in the matter, you would have preferred your servant to be the nudist rather than Roland.

"So, what's your name?"