Greetings

“Oh!” I yelped, taken completely aback from the action, my ass now stinging pleasantly.

“Hi Darkness! Bye Darkness!” Yunyun waved happily and darted back to the door.

The two arch-wizards left quickly, leaving me in complete shock.

Yunyun, the meek and timid little girl that she is, just walked over and smacked my rear with everything she had. If there was anyone to test the legitimacy of these earrings, she would be it. If it was a prank then Yunyun would not be as easily paid off as Kazuma and Aqua. No, if Yunyun got changed then maybe this was legit.

In my confusion I missed Kazuma and Aqua saying they’d be going to the guild for lunch and wishing goodbye to Wiz and Vanir, leaving me behind.

“...Moi sees the look on your face and the feelings in your heart. Moi could be insulted by you doubting the legitimacy of my offers but he chooses to ignore them for now.” Then he raised his gloved finger to my face. “A few more ground rules. No going for the demon king, and try to not provoke his armies or lieutenants anymore than you need to. Moi doesn’t want to be on that guy's shitlist just for trying to have some fun.” He raised a second finger, “Moi has final say on normalities so if your heart of a noblewoman comes out then things will get unpleasant. Don’t make Moi regret picking you for this power.”

“This is a lot to process Vanir. You’re not even giving me a lot of choices to use them. It sounds like I have to use them for… personal gain?” I asked and he nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Wait, weren’t you going to give the earrings to Kazuma?”

“The stupid boy with no sense of curiosity made his bed. Moi only offered him the chance because Moi knew he would give them to you, deepening his despair once he realises all that he missed out on!”

“And why didn’t you put them on?”

His expression loosened a bit as he looked out the window. “Oh, Moi did. He did it all. Attained wealth and power and had the world bow to his feet. You were there, feeling fear and powerlessness. Moi achieved everything he dreamed! But felt hollow. Human despair does not taste as sweet as that he had earned. Wished it all back to how it was and took the earrings off. They’re designed more for the perverted anyway, and Moi has no need for sex or titillation being made of dirt. No, Moi is content just to help now. Watch the world crumble from someone else’s hands.”

“B-but w-”

“Bzzt. Question time over.” He raised his fingers to form an X. “Give the item one week before any attempt to remove them. I will not accept returns until a proper grace period has been met. If you’re not satisfied after one week then Moi will remove them free of charge.”

“O-oh okay. A week?” Even with the spine tingling smile I considered his offer. “A week. I can last that long. I’ll be good and just keep to myself. Then you can get them off me and I can go back to being free. This is an unbreakable demon promise, yeah?”

He once more rolled his eyes at me. “Yes yes. The noble slut who just wished everyone to slap her ass will absolutely give up her power, we all believe it.” He then practically shoved me out the door. “Now get out there and use your gifts!”

The door slammed shut behind me. I was going to go back in there to give that demon a piece of my mind but decided to go and… greet some people instead.

--

I walked with a sense of eager caution through the streets of Axel.

Anyone could wander up to me at any moment and ‘greet’ me. To just walk over to me and treat me like a common whore. It felt like when I had travelled the streets of Alcanretia as an Eris worshipper.

I got about half way to the tavern before I realised that not a single person had even acknowledged me, let alone greet me. The town square I was in wasn’t bursting with people but it was still fairly busy. It was these darn earrings, they made me that weird level of invisible so no one was saying hello to me. I quickly remedied that by finding a small adventuring party walking through and chatting amongst themselves.

There were four of them, two guys and two girls. The girls were leading the way and chatting while the two guys seemed either bored or distant.

“Hello! I’m Darkness!” I said while shunting my ass out towards them.

The blonde spiky one looked at me quizzically. “Hm? Oh uh hey.”

“Can we help you?” Asked the black haired girl. “We’re sort of in a hurry.”

“Well… I just wanted to say hello. And… all that entails.” I mumbled. My face was reddening up. Half from excitement and half from embarrassment. If Vanir was lying to me…

The fear broke with my yelp as I got slapped in the ass. “Come on guys, it’s not hard to be a little friendly is it?” I turned to see the flowery brown haired girl had sneaked around to be my first public slapper.

“T-thank you!” I instinctively blurted out, not sure what else to say to her in this situation. Her smile seemed to indicate it was the right choice.

Her attitude also broke the rest of the group. The spiky haired boy walked up and smacked his gloved hand into me next. It was quite a lot more fierce than the girl, but I did notice him stop to admire his work for a second, much to his own embarrassment. “Sorry…” he mumbled while looking away.

“I-it’s okay. Thank you!”

He nodded and the raven haired girl was next. “Hope you’re tough enough for this.” She smiled while flexing a muscle.

When she slapped me I jumped nearly a foot off the ground.

Her strength stat must have been through the roof. Even with the warning I didn’t expect such a powerful strike. My defence was one of the greatest in the land and she managed to send me flying! “Ahn! Thank you very much!”

She bowed her head slightly and they all turned to the last one of the group. The guy was built like a castle, standing a couple feet above the other three.

The huge short-haired gentleman with sunglasses on just huffed, showing off his arm that had an axe where his hand should be. “Sure you want to say hello to me?”

His team gave him a sound of disgust with the blonde guy slapping his humongous arm.

“Not cool dude.”

He shrugged off the shorter man but still walked over to me.

“Aww, I was just playing. Think I’d mess up an ass this fine?” He said, promptly using his human hand to deliver the second strongest slap I’d received from the group. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed his rough manner and actions he still received glares from his party. “Err... sorry Miss. Even though it’s a normal greeting, we really are in a hurry and I got impatient.”

“N-no worries! Thank you!” I chirped, enjoying the pain flowing through my rear. “I won’t keep you any longer!”

“Bye Darkness!” waved the nice woman who started the chain as the four walked off.

I heard them talk a bit as they left. “Man. That better not have made us late for our rendezvous with Jessie.” grumbled the big guy.

“You said we needed to keep a low profile. Better to play along with the normal day-to-day stuff for now.” said the blonde one.

“And~ we could just be nice. Would have been done quicker if you just slapped her straight away.”

“She’s right, you know. If you want to get to Jessie quicker then pick up those feet, slowpoke!” Was the last thing I heard the raven haired girl say.

It was time for me to make my own tracks. I was right by the guild where Kazuma and Aqua were, but there were plenty of people coming out of it that I could say ‘hello’ to now that I knew the trick.

This was going to be fun.