Gratification delayed

Erna was desperately brushing off some straw and trying to look less of a mess when Aarni returned his attention to her.

“Thank you for playing along, it meant a lot to my niece.”

“Of course your highness, it is my honor to help you in any way,” she curtseyed as she spoke, her voice nervous and her movements stiff. Aarni couldn’t tell if she was just nervous or if she didn’t like talking to him.

“Nice weather we’re having.” Aarni stammered, looking for some way to ease the tension and move this conversation in a better direction.

“Yes, it’s been a lovely summer so far.” She replied, curtseying again. Aarni was dying inside, the conversation had barely started and was also nearly dead, he was too nervous and had no clue how to recover at this point. So he bailed. He handed Erna the reigns to his horse and said he hoped to see her again, then walked away as fast as possible. He hated feeling stupid, but that’s how he felt after bombing horribly with the stable girl. He needed help, he had always fantasized about wooing women, but it had always been beating someone with his sword and spear then kissing the princess. . . he’d never really thought about actually talking to women.

He headed to dinner, then a short sparring session at the armory and he went back to his room. When the steward asked him if he had a request for the night, it took him a moment to realize he was offering to fetch him one of the girls. He almost told him to bring Erna, but if it was as awkward as earlier he’d have to throw himself out the window, so he just said no and went in to his room.

It didn’t take long for Aarni to regret not asking for a lady to join him. He probably could have asked for Isa to return, or just any girl really. He had been fine his whole life being alone at night, but after yesterday, suddenly his bed felt huge and empty.

He laid in it, tossed and turned, thinking of the girls in the castle, thought about being more confident, more assertive with them, he hated how awkward and nervous he got around them. He thought about Mariss’s offer, how hot she looked laying on his bed, her hand touching his. . . “By the goddess, Aarni, you can’t keep going back to fantasizing about Mariss, you’ll never make it.” Those last words reverberated in his brain, depressing him, “I’ll never make it.” He said out loud, his spirit draining out of him, the feeling that his doom was sealed, he was weak, pathetic. . .

Aarni would have continued his moping but he heard a knock at his door, a soft one, but it startled him out of his pity party, and he approached the door.

“Hello,” he said sheepishly.

“Aarni, hurry, open the door before I’m caught out here.” The voice was feminine and familiar, he hurriedly opened the door and in slipped a figure in a long cloak. The hood pulled back and Yrsa’s black hair, green eyes and lovely face were suddenly in his room.

“Hi,” he stammered.

“Relax Aarni, I’m not going to bite you.” She replied, almost laughing. “Sorry to surprise you like this, but I thought about your offer and wanted to test out. . .” Her voice trailed off as she looked around the room.

“Are you alone?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you would have a girl here, I mean, with your ascension yesterday I figured you would be busy. . . Oh Aarni, is it worse than I thought? Are you having trouble with the breeding?”

“No, I just didn’t want. . . I mean I didn’t ask for Erna because of how poorly it went with her.”

“It went poorly? But you kissed her, she seemed to like you.”

“Yeah, and then you and Tove left and I fell completely apart, I talked about the weather.”

“Oh Aarni,” Yrsa laughed. He knew she wasn’t trying to be mean, but the number of times she had laughed at him today was starting to hurt.

Aarni sighed and sat on his bed, resting his head in his hands.

“I’m no good at this stuff, I’m great with a sword, when I’m fighting I don’t need words and I know how to move. But with women I’m suddenly weak and stupid.”

He told her about his night with Isa, the following morning with the servant girl, realizing that he did not know her name, and could barely recall what she even looked like. He was a mess, and in that moment, Aarni hated himself.

“I wish I was like my brother, Sune is always confident, he wouldn’t forget how to speak the minute a girl smiles at him.”

“No, your brother certainly doesn’t lack confidence, that is true. But you are sweet Aarni, you care about people, you just don’t know what you are doing right now. We can improve that, you can learn. And when you do, you’ll be both confident and kind, and that is something your brother has never been.”

They talked for over an hour, then Yrsa donned her cloak and sneaked back out of his room. She had agreed to help him, to mentor him through the breeding, help build his confidence and help him navigate all of Mariss’s plots. Aarni lay back and started thinking of the girls in the castle and which ones he wanted to claim as his own, but more and more his thoughts were dominated by the two women that he dare not have, Mariss and Yrsa. . .