Goodbye Isa Gormdottir, hello Dahabia bint Abdullah

Isa was taken somewhat aback by the woman's audacity.

"Do what you must," she conceded to her **** status, "but I'll have you know that I was born into the religion I am now."

"No," the woman started correcting her, "you were baptized into that religion. You, and all of God's children, were born into the primordial state of nature, of submission to His will. And lucky for you, you are closer than the heathens to reverting to that cosmic state."

"Again, do what you must," Isa insisted on her credentials, "but I have been with God this whole time, and am no heathen."

"Yes, exactly, that makes all of us," the woman continued, "we are under the God of Abraham, the God of Moses, the God of Jesus."

The God of Jesus?

"Actually," Isa tried to argue the point, "Christ is God, and is risen."

"And is born of a virgin, and will come to rule over Earth yet more," the woman continued to Isa's shock, "but he is not God - that is a Roman misconception. The Messiah was human, and ate human food. God is not three, He is one."

Isa was quite annoyed at this woman's heresy, but once again was reminded of her **** status, not to mention her nudity and the fact that she was only now beginning to feel her legs again.

"I see we almost agree," Isa tried to change the topic as she stumbled to stand up, "but will I need to be baptized once again into whatever sect this is?"

"Oh no," the woman informed her, "you simply need to repeat these two sentences after me, and say them like you mean them. Now, repeat after me - 'There is no god but God.'"

"There is no god but God," Isa flew through that sentence with ease.

"Now comes the hard part," the woman continued, "repeat after me - 'Muhammad is the messenger of God'."

"Muhammad is the messenger of God," Isa slurred and mumbled the sentence.

"Say it like you mean it!" the woman got annoyed, putting her arms akimbo yet again with a scowl.

Isa sighed and said it clearly. "Muhammad is the messenger of God."

"Very well!" the woman beamed, "now, we need to give you a new name. Your hair is golden, like dahab, so let's say your new name is Dahabia."

"Ummm" came the response.

"And you're now the daughter of God and His true will, so we'll say your surname is bint Abdullah.

Right, then," the woman began to turn away, "we'll get you dressed soon, but first let me take you to your master to get you two acquainted."

Isa - Dahabia - reluctantly agreed as the woman led her to a tent, where to her surprise the man was reclined and was already naked.