Go round and round

Actually, no. You want to read what the Multiplier says right away, but you’re going to prioritize like a responsible grownup (like a responsible grownup who has a girlfriend) (who has five girlfriends!!!) and make sure Penelope knows you’re on your way. You open the messenger app.

You flip to the bus route app, check the ETA, add an extra six minutes for walking from your stop to the mall with the food court...

You grin.

Okay. Now you go to the Multiplier and open Sweeney’s log. You got her to +4 Affection just by being nice to her on the phone, so let’s see what happened when you met her in person.

• Sweeney Edgett: Thinks you’re kinda cute! +1 Lust (4/0/1)
• Sweeney Edgett: You spontaneously held the door for Travis. +2 (6/0/1)
• Sweeney Edgett: You’re obviously lying when you say she’s very pretty, but it’s still nice to hear. +3/+1 Love/+1 (9/1/2)
• Sweeney Edgett: You like her hair and her dress! +2/+1/0 (11/2/2)
• Sweeney Edgett: Feels sorry for you about the fire. +2/0/0 (13/2/2)
• Sweeney Edgett: Just realized that “you can come see me for anything you need, anything at all” could be taken sexually, oh god, and now she’s thinking about you coming to her for sex, what if you say you need to see her tits. 0/0/+2 (13/2/4)
• Sweeney Edgett: You’re being nice and pretending you didn’t notice. +1/0/0 (14/2/4)
• Sweeney Edgett: She’s being stupid. You wouldn’t ask that. 0/0/-1 (14/2/3)
• Sweeney Edgett: Oh god, “let’s go upstairs”, that’s a sexual comment too, isn’t it, and now she’s thinking about you saying it to her. 0/0/+4 (14/2/7)
• Sweeney Edgett: Oh god, she just asked if you’re single and you didn’t answer right away, oh god, you must have thought she was flirting with you, oh god, and now she’s thinking about you flirting back! 0/0/+8 (14/2/15)
• Sweeney Edgett: Oh god, she just told you that she got pregnant when she was 19 and unmarried and that’s basically the same thing as telling you she’s a horny girl who loves to fuck and suck!!! 0/0/+20 (14/2/35)

  ---

Your eyebrows go up. You would not have considered those two statements to be ‘basically the same thing’, although you suppose you can see it.

• Sweeney Edgett: Water. Yes. Calm. Relax. Water. Let go. It was good of you to suggest that. She’s been overthinking it, she’s been fixating on how horny she is and making herself hornier, that’s all.
  +4/+1/-19 (18/3/16)
• Sweeney Edgett: “Let’s go into the bedroom”, oh god! Now she’s imagining you saying that to her! 0/0/+6 (18/3/22)
• Sweeney Edgett: You knew what she meant, she’s just overthinking it. 0/0/-5 (18/3/17)
• Sweeney Edgett: You spontaneously offered her a hand up. +1/+1/0 (19/4/17)
• Sweeney Edgett: It was nice to hold hands with you. +3/+5/0 (22/9/17)
• Sweeney Edgett: Oh god, she’s telling you how much she likes sex with men and she can’t stop, oh god, what’ll she do if you want to fuck her?!? 0/0/+24 (22/9/41)
• Sweeney Edgett: You took control when she was spiraling and talked her down. +11/+8/0 (33/17/41)
• Sweeney Edgett: You’re probably not interested in her sexually anyway. -8/0/-25 (25/17/16)
• Sweeney Edgett: Really liked how it felt when you took control, actually. +1/+1/+3 (26/18/19)
• Sweeney Edgett: You were worried that her spiral might have been your fault. It’s nice that you care. +1/+1/0 (27/19/19)
• Sweeney Edgett: You’re giving her a chance to talk about the appliances and how smart she was to get such a great deal! +1/0/0 (28/19/19)
• Sweeney Edgett: Oh god, she just told you she likes to masturbate, oh god, you’re probably thinking about her doing it right now, and now she’s thinking about you watching her! 0/0/+10 (28/19/29)
• Sweeney Edgett: Isn’t sure if you genuinely missed that or if you’re lying to make her feel better, but either way it helps. +1/0/-9 (29/19/20)
• Sweeney Edgett: Is jealous of Callie. A little. -2/+1/0 (27/20/20)
• Sweeney Edgett: Is scared that this conversation will turn into either ‘how fuckable Callie is’ or ‘how fuckable Sweeney is’, oh god, what if you want a threesome?! -3/0/+1 (24/20/21)
• Sweeney Edgett: Holy shit, you actually got Callie to talk about her normally and say nice things that aren’t just lies about “look how hot and fuckable Sweeney is”. +5/+1/0 (29/21/21)
• Sweeney Edgett: Is positive you’re lying about not having a sense of smell, but is grateful for that. +2/+1/0 (31/22/21)
• Sweeney Edgett: Realizes that she might not mind you smelling her, actually. 0/+2/+3 (31/24/24)
• Sweeney Edgett: Holy shit, you actually got Callie into a normal conversation. +4/0/0 (35/24/24)
• Sweeney Edgett: Is jealous of Callie. More than a little. -3/+1/0 (32/25/24)
• Sweeney Edgett: Is thinking about going for a walk with you down by the canal at sunset, and holding hands. +1/+1/0 (33/25/24)
• Sweeney Edgett: Okay, okay, it looks like you’re on her side, not Callie’s. Okay. +3/+1/0 (36/26/24)
• Sweeney Edgett: Feels sorry for you for having lived in Marklin. +2/0/0 (38/26/24)

• Sweeney Edgett: You mentioned that you were staying with your sister, while talking to Callie, and she knows that Callie and her sister are fucking, and now she’s thinking about you fucking your sister, oh god! 0/0/+9 (38/26/33)

  ---

  Okay, that explains how she knew: she didn’t.

• Sweeney Edgett: CALLIE IS ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR ERECTION and now she’s thinking about you fucking Callie in front of her and wondering how big your cock is 0/0/+12 (38/26/45)
• Sweeney Edgett: YOU ADMITTED THAT YOU GOT AN ERECTION WHILE YOU WERE ON SHONDRA’S BUS and now she’s thinking about you fucking Shondra in front of her! Shondra, and Callie, and Jenna, and Angela! -4/-1/+14 (34/25/59)
• Sweeney Edgett: You’re talking Callie down, she knew you were on her side! +6/+1/0 (40/26/59)
• Sweeney Edgett: Just realized she OFFERED TO SUCK YOUR COCK, SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE WOULD DO IT, oh god, oh god, she’s having sense memories of what it feels like to have a cock in her mouth! 0/0/+16 (40/26/75)
• Sweeney Edgett: Has realized you HAVE AN ERECTION, oh god, oh god, oh god, she’s so horny, she can’t stop thinking about your cock! -2/0/+21 (38/26/96)

  ---

You blink. Holy shit. What would have happened if she’d gotten to 100 Lust?

At the very least, you’ve got to learn more about how the Multiplier affects people, because… because holy shit. Although it’s pretty obvious that Sweeney already had issues.

Just then, a new update comes through on Sweeney’s log.

• Sweeney Edgett: Oh, I needed that. 0/0/-11 (38/26/85)

  ---

You’re a little surprised it took that long, to be honest.

You were intending to look at Callie’s log next, but it feels like going straight from Sweeney to Callie would give you whiplash. You decided to try Angela first.

… if you can find Angela. How would the Multiplier categorize her? You talked to her on the phone for less than a minute, so you wouldn’t call her a Friend… she’s not a Co-Worker or a Superior… you don’t suppose answering the phone for her mom counts as a job, so she wouldn’t be a Professional… hm. Didn’t the glossary say you could re-categorize people however you want?

You dig in the settings, and find an option to create a new category. You’re not really sure how you’d categorize Angela, to be honest, so you just call your new category “Miscellaneous”.

For a few seconds, you wonder how you could formally define that, then realize you don’t need to.

When you open Miscellaneous, there are already a few names in it: Angela, but also Callie, and Sonia. You’re pretty sure Sonia was categorized under ‘Friend’ before; maybe the Multiplier thinks this is more accurate, since (unlike Eleanor) she wasn’t your friend before it started tracking her? That’d also explain why Callie is here.

The pattern-matching part of your brain says you’re missing something.

Eh, you’ll figure it out later.

So, Angela’s profile.

Angela Mary Edgett

Personal Information -

• Age: 20
• Gender: Female
• Marriage status: Single
• Children: 0

Physical Information -

• Height: 5’7 ½”
• Weight: 160
• Hair color: Brown
• Eye color: Brown
• Bust: 32B
• Waist: 24
• Hips: 32

  Sexual experience +

  ---

And her status updates…

• Angela Edgett: That’s a stupid question. -1 (-1)
• Angela Edgett: You gave her the chance to be snarky, which is fun. +1 (0)
• Angela Edgett: Thinks you assaulted Sweeney and is going to call the cops on you. -90 (-90)

  ---

WHAT?!?

Your heart starts pounding like a jackhammer and your mouth tastes all metal and weird, but before you can actually start panicking, you see the next line:

• Angela Edgett: Reluctantly accepts Sweeney’s explanation that you didn’t do anything and it was all Callie’s fault. +90 (0)

  ---

Oh, thank god, thank god, thank god.

… wait, there’s more.

• Angela Edgett: Still is kind of pissed off at you for getting an erection in front of Sweeney. -5 (-5)
• Angela Edgett: Is thinking about you fucking Sweeney and Callie together. +20 Lust (-5/0/20)
• Angela Edgett: Is thinking about you fucking her and Callie together. 0/0/+23 (-5/0/43)
• Angela Edgett: Has realized she has no idea what you look like, or anything about your personality other than you ask stupid questions and you got an erection when Callie was being a slut, and your role in the fantasy could just as easily be filled by her dildo. 0/0/-42 (-5/0/1)
• Angela Edgett: To be fair, it was one stupid question, and she supposes she can understand how you’d react like that to Callie. +2/0/0 (-3/0/1)

  ---

You remember Molly suggesting that you fuck Angela and Sweeney together. That – or, really, anything with you and Angela – doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Sorry, Molly.

Just then, another update comes through on Sweeney’s log. Again, it’s “Oh, I needed that”, and her Lust score has dropped to 78.

You’re not really sure you want to keep getting updates about Sweeney just now, and you don’t feel good about having Angela’s log open at all, so you make them go away.

Which is to say, you open the settings, choose the ‘Success Probability Profile Display Threshold’ control panel, and tap ‘restore default value’.

Okay. Now you’ll look at Callie’s log.

… except it’s gone?!?

Does that mean… Callie’s not a Top Prospect? But… you distinctly remember hearing the Multiplier buzz when Sweeney introduced you! You were sure it only did that for Top Prospects!

Unless…

You open the Success Probability panel again, and slowly drag the slider to the right. Callie’s profile pops into existence at 81.4%.

Okay, yeah. Earlier, you set the threshold to 56 point whatever to get Sweeney’s profile, and that’s where it was when Callie walked in on you, so Top Prospect must have been redefined to ‘greater than 56’.

And it started tracking Angela before you lowered the threshold, so you didn’t get a notification for her. Yeah. Makes sense.

Out of curiosity, you keep dragging the slider to the right until Angela’s profile pops up at… 59.7% probability of successful romantic and sexual relationship?!?

Still ?!? How would that work! She’s upset with you! Is that what her probability was before, and it doesn’t ever change? Definitely something to look up in the Manual.

You wonder if you’ve missed anyone just by not setting the threshold low enough. Like maybe Headphones Girl.

Well, “someone who you were crowded in next to on a bus” would definitely go in “Miscellaneous” instead any of the more defined categories.

Just to see, you drag the slider all the way to the right. Down at <1% is… well, it’s not Headphones Girl. It’s Anita, the old lady you bumped into, knocked over, and helped up. Yesterday the Multiplier had her categorized as “friend”, but you suppose this is more accurate.

Okay, that’s probably what you were missing.

Also, if you’d met (or, well, stood next to) Headphones Girl last week, you would’ve thought about her for a few hours and then let go. Over the years, you’d gotten pretty good at letting go of fantasies about women who you knew (thought!) weren’t interested in you. So you’ll let go of Headphones Girl too, especially since you have other women who love you.

You drag the slider all the way back to 81.4%, watching as Anita and Sweeney and Angela disappear one by one.

You wonder if the knowledge that Callie’s not a Top Prospect should make a difference to what you do about (or with) her. Then you open her profile.