Go get the morning newspaper

You decide to get an early start on the day and find out what’s happening in your corner of the world. You slip into your flip-flops and go bounding down the stairs, resolve to approach today with the same enthusiasm with which you approach everything in life.

The front door opens and you step outside into a beautiful early summer morning. The sky is clear and blue, the birds are singing, and the last of the overnight chill is giving way to the warmth of the sun. You close your eyes, smile, and inhale deeply through your nose, smelling the clean air.

“My, you’re up early, Joy,” says Mrs. Cleft, your next door neighbor.

“I could say the same about you, Mrs. Cleft,” you reply.

“Just seeing Thomas off to work,” she nods to the car driving away.

“Well, I hope you have a wonderful day,” you say to her.

“Aw,” Mrs. Cleft replies. “Bless your heart.”

She turns and walks towards the paper at the edge of her driveway. You admire her ample posterior as she goes.

Mrs. Sara Cleft is a top-shelf cougar. She’s in her early forties, she has a few wrinkles here and there, and some people might say her butt was a little too big, but there isn’t a hint of sag to those huge breasts. She has kept her waist slim, quite a feat considering she has two kids your age, Thomas Jr. and Melanie, although you don’t know them well because they go to the Catholic school in town.

Across the street, Mr. Wood is gassing up his weed whacker and getting ready to trim his lawn. He’s an older heavyset retiree with a balding head of white hair. He’s also a divorcee, a lonely but sweet sort of man who you have always had a soft spot for. He always seems so happy when you go caroling each Christmas in your fur-lined red dress with the plunging neckline.

Mr. Wood fires up the weed whacker and starts edging his lawn along the sidewalk. You wave to him, but he’s too engrossed in his yardwork to notice.

The only other people out and about this early are Dan and Maria. They’re a younger unmarried couple who live two doors down from Mr. Wood. They’re arguing about something in their driveway.

Dan is a good enough looking guy, fit with carefully parted brown hair. He’s a bit short and a little bit geeky seeming, but not in a bad way. He also seems like a bit of an asshole though and you’ve caught him ogling you a few times when you were jogging in your little matching running shorts and underarmor. Maria is a pretty but stern woman. She wears her dark hair up in a bun and tends to dress in modest dark-colored pants suits. She’s petite and she has small breasts. She and Dan seem to fight all the time.

You wave and Dan waves back. Maria does a half-wave and then yells one last thing at Dan before storming back inside their house. Dan stands in the driveway messing with his cell phone.

You shrug and bounce out to the end of your drive to get the paper. You scoop it up, being sure to bend so Dan or Mr. Wood could see your butt if they’re looking.

Now you just have to figure out what you want to do next. Go talk to someone in the neighborhood? Go for a walk? Head back inside and check out the paper? The possibilities are endless!