Go close to the Eanna Temple, the residence of Ishtar (Main Story)

(Ishtar courtesy of Magnusth )

Kevin followed Hazel as the vine-clad nymph walked into the common room of The Long Rest. Even after a night full of sex with her, his eyes kept drifting to her callipygian cheeks as they flexed with each step, and he nearly stumbled on the slightly uneven cobblestones beneath his feet on more than one occasion.

What surprised him, however, was that when he walked through the doorway and glanced around, every single member of his harem—of his party—was already present. All were seated around the largest table in the room as they picked at the remains of their breakfast, and the two open spaces already had plates waiting for the last arrivals.

“Morning everyone—is this the first time we’ve all been here at the same time?” Kevin’s voice caught the attention of Hwa, Tess, and Blue, with Stheno, Tess and Elsie having noticed him the moment he walked through the door.

It was the brownie who answered, her voice chipper, “Yeah! It’s weird, I was going to get up and see if I could get a head start on sourcing some crafting materials to take into the dungeon tomorrow, but breakfast suddenly seemed more important.”

The declaration caught the attention of several of the women at the table. Penny chimed in, “I was going to grab something on the way to the bard’s hall, but as soon as I got downstairs I smelled bacon, and had to stop here,” while Tess mumbled, “I wasn’t even going to get up yet, but I was just suddenly awake.”

Kevin slipped into his seat and immediately picked up a piece of toast laden with jelly to take a bite. The moment he began to chew, a new voice directly behind him announced calmly, “It is good that you are, for you will need a hearty meal to prepare you for the events of the day. Good morning, adventurers!”

From the expressions on the faces of the women suddenly staring past him, Kevin knew to expect the unusual when he turned around. What he was not prepared for was the full magnitude of the glory that greeted him.

Standing a few feet behind Kevin’s chair was a tall and curvaceous woman. At first glance she resembled Lily enough that he wondered if they were related. They shared the same exaggerated curves with massive breasts and appealing hips, their hair was the same lustrous black, and they were of a similarly imposing height.

As he examined her further, though, he realized that the newcomer was light to Lily’s dark. Rather than the chainmail bikini the host had donned in her first appearance, this woman wore a diaphanous white dress that clung to her every curve. The golden headbands that adorned her head sparkled in the light of the tavern and functioned to draw all eyes to the woman, until even the NPCs who filled the place were pulled out of their usual routine of ignoring the party in favor of paying attention to her.

And, of course, rather than the small batlike wings that Lily sported, behind this woman was a pair of massive feathered wings. Folded in behind her, the snowy white color matched that of her gown and contrasted with her burnished bronze skin deliciously.

A heartbeat passed as she allowed the party to soak in her appearance, before she parted her lips to introduce herself. “I am Ishtar. Your normal hostess, ‘Lily’—” Kevin could all but hear the air quotes as she said the name, but she continued speaking without giving him a chance to follow up, “—is indisposed on this day, and as a favor I have been asked to assist.” She flashed a brilliant smile at the camera as she finished.

Kevin realized that he still had a mouthful of toast. His choices were to spit it out or swallow, so he began to chew as quickly as he could, but was still slower to respond than Penny. “Hi, Ishtar, not to be rude, but what in God’s name is going on? What do you mean Lily is ‘indisposed’? I thought she was like—all powerful here, or something.”

The newcomer’s smile dipped slightly at Penny’s blasphemy, but soon waved the concern away with a flip of her hand. As Kevin looked again, he realized the woman—who had been standing no more than a few feet behind him, and thus occupied most of his field of view—held in her left hand a long, slender staff topped with a polished blue stone of some kind.

The bottom of the staff tapped against the wooden floor of the tavern once, and the room vanished from around them, replaced by an expanse of lightly hilled scrubland. That their chairs, and the table with their breakfast on it came with them was a small grace, as it meant none of them crashed to the ground in the transition, but the entire party was left in a state of some shock.

“Indeed, the powers of the host or hostess of Harem Hotel are vast indeed. Fear not, her indisposition is the result of a social obligation, rather than any malady or harm.” Ishtar’s mouth curved into a smirk for a moment as she added, “Lily does not grant favors readily, and is quick to leap upon any chance to repay them.”

She then leaned in a little. In a far more conversational voice than she’d used thus far, she quickly explained, “Look, it’s not anything you need to worry yourself about. Lily’s fine, you’ve got the best possible hostess to act in her stead, we’re just going to do things a little differently today and then tomorrow everything will go back to normal for your challenge.”

By then, Kevin had managed to swallow his toast. His studies in mythology from the game were sufficient for him to be familiar with Ishtar as a goddess, so there was more than a little hesitation in his voice as he asked, “Do you have to, um, do anything? With Lily, we got these quest pop-ups from time to time but she otherwise just left us to our own devices. Unless we had questions, or whatever, but even then she mostly let us wander around and figure stuff out. Um. Ma’am.”

Ishtar’s left eyebrow rose into a perfect arch as she took in this season’s Master’s first words. “You would do well to stand tall, young man. You are meant to be a hero and a leader of your women, are you not? It is no mistake to address me with respect, but you must not back down in your dealings with anyone. Am I understood?”

Kevin’s brow furrowed, but he wasn’t about to gainsay the goddess, and by the time he started to think of an intelligent response, she was already speaking once more. “Lilith has her own way of doing things, with which I am not obligated to comply. I was called here to manage your participation in this day of your season of Harem Hotel, and I intend to do so. In your story, you are comrades on a quest. I am well familiar with such a hero’s journey, and will contribute my chapter to it as I see fit.”

This proclamation was met with silence, but as Kevin tried to respond he realized that it was not a voluntary one. Just as when the cast had first been summoned, their voices were taken from them and they found themselves unable to utter so much as a sound as Ishtar began to recite, “The Master arose interpreting dreams, addressing his hostess. ‘My goddess! During the night I, having become lustful, wandered about in the midst of omens. And there came out the birds in the sky, like an eagle’s dive she fell upon me. I reached for her, but she was too swift for me. I chased, but was not able to capture her. I called upon my companions to assemble unto her, that my mistresses might kiss upon her body. She stood up before me, and they knelt before me. I lifted her and carried her away unto thee.’ The hostess—she that knows all things—said unto the Master, ‘Truly oh Kevin, she is born in the wilds far from thee. The mountains have reared her, thou beholdest her and art attracted. Your mistresses shall kiss her body. You shall take her, and you shall bring her to me.’”

While Ishtar’s visage had become slightly stern as she proclaimed what sounded like some kind of poem, the smile returned a moment later. She gestured across the table at Blue, and finally explained, “Today is to be the day of the quest of Blue. You are to find her, you are to tame her, and you are to bring her to me to be civilized. Do that, and the day’s quest should be complete.”

A heartbeat later, both the temporary hostess and the Blue-feathered harpy vanished.

Seven sets of eyes searched for signs of the missing goddess and harpy, only to come up short. When neither reappeared immediately, Kevin turned around and got back to his breakfast—while most of the group had nearly finished before their arrival, he and Hazel had barely started theirs and he figured he might as well eat while he could. As they did so, the five remaining women began to speculate among themselves about the information that Ishtar had revealed.

“So Lily’s real name is Lilith? You think she’s, you know, the original?” It was Penny who spoke up first, but her words only seemed to bring confusion from a few of the others around the table.

Elsie seemed to immediately catch on, though, and explained, “In Christian mythology she was the first wife of Adam, the first man made by God. She rebelled and was cast out. I’m not really well studied on it, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t appear in every version of the bible, so maybe it’s just a coincidence?”

“Is there anything in there about her being an evil demon?” Tess was not one of the ones who had immediately recognized the name, and her confusion was evident.

“Yeah, I think so—but again, a lot of this I’ve just caught from reading random things online. She wasn’t exactly a big topic of Sunday school for me.”

As Elsie stopped talking, Stheno’s face took on a thoughtful expression. “There—I believe there may have been one bearing that name in one of the families of gods distant from those that birthed me. If Ishtar is another of their number–” The gorgon trailed off as she finished, lost in thought.

The next few minutes brought no further truths to bear, though, but by the time Ishtar reappeared Kevin and Hazel had actually finished their morning’s meal. The hostess bore a proud smile as she regarded the group, and immediately seized the initiative of the conversation. “When Gilgamesh dreamed of Enkidu, it was because his destiny decreed the two would form a bond that would endure through the eons. When Blue was selected to join your harem, Kevin, your destiny was equally linked to hers. Yet the harpy, even when granted an aspect of discipline, remains errant and wild. She obeys you not, and roams free and unfettered. This will not stand.”

The massive white wings behind Ishtar flared open and flapped slowly. With their movement came a warm wind—dry, but somehow alive and vitalizing. Kevin felt strength and vitality flood into him, could feel his heart begin to pound with nameless excitement, and was seized with a sudden surge of need. For what he could not say, but when Ishtar began to speak, he found himself nodding along. “Your charge for the day is the capture and return of Blue. She roams these hills at her will. Succeed and your party will be rewarded—with the addition of a member bonded to you more strongly than ever. Fail and—do not fail. Kevin Burgmeyer, lead your harem—your party to glory!”

Ishtar’s wings began to beat more strongly as she exulted in her divine command. A moment later, her flawless legs flexed and she began to ascend into the crystal-blue skies above.

As tempted as he was to deny it, Kevin couldn’t help but enjoy the thrill of excitement that ran through him. He was here, in a fantasy world, with a quest given to him by an—as far as he could tell—actual goddess. Sure, it was apparently as part of some kind of interdimensional porn show, but he was in the wilderness with a party of badass supernatural women about to go on an adventure.

“Tess, your ranger senses should be able to pick up traces of Blue. We’ll need you to help find her. Stheno, I’m assuming you have experience in tracking?” The gorgon was in her more serpentine form at the moment, and nodded sharply as she began to slither free of her chair. “You and Tess work together. Elsie—if we can avoid using your permanent craft for the day on this, I’d prefer to, but if you can whip up some kind of temporary nets or something that would be helpful. Penny and Hazel, I’m hoping we can use the two of you to act as a trap. Penny, your bard passive lets you influence the emotions of anyone who watches you perform, see if you can use that to slow her down somehow. Hazel’s vines are probably too slow to catch her on their own, but with a net and the song to slow her down we have a chance.”

His gaze finally settled on Hwa. He had expected defiance from the Kumiho, or scorn, but her expression was almost shell-shocked. He filed that away, but didn’t let it stop him from finishing, “I’m not sure if your ability to sense magic will work on Blue, but I’m hoping we can use you as a radar and rangefinder. Can you pick up any nearby sources of magic?”

The Korean woman furrowed her brow. “I—yes. This whole land is magic, but it is subtle. More so than your made-up world, at least. There is more, though.” She raised her head slightly, then cocked it to the side as though listening, before raising a single finger to point over a nearby hill. “That way.”

The trek didn’t take as long as Kevin feared. Following Hwa’s general sense of the magic which had been imbued into Blue kept them moving in the right direction, and before long Tess perked up. “I can smell her. She passed by this way recently, headed–” The selkie pointed towards a copse of tall trees just visible over the next shallow rise, “–that way.”

The group moved in the direction indicated, with Tess and Stheno taking point. The former’s ability to pick up traces of the harpy thanks to her enhanced senses combined well with the experience the gorgon had in tracking prey, which meant their pace barely slowed. Cresting the hill revealed that the trees had sprung up around some kind of natural pond or hot spring—the sparkle of water was just barely visible through the trees, which resembled palm trees.

It was only when the group drew near that Kevin realized that they were, in fact, date palms. A heady fragrance filled the valley, sweet and floral, and he could see massive clusters of ripe fruits near the top below the fronds. “Well, no surprise why she’s hanging out here.” He scanned through the trunks, but they were irregularly spaced and difficult to see through—this was no carefully planted grove. “Tess?”

“She’s been through here several times already—I can’t pick out which scent is the most recent.”

Kevin nodded. “Let’s head towards the water. I’m thirsty, and while I’m pretty sure drinking from a random lake isn’t normally a great idea, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t let anything bad happen to us as a result. Dysentery isn’t exactly sexy, so–”

He received several nods of acknowledgment, and the group pressed on.

The reveal of the sparkling blue oasis was gradual rather than sudden. The group caught flashes of sparkling light between the trunks of the date trees, which slowly expanded to show a long roughly oval-shaped body of water a few hundred feet long at the widest.

It was picturesque and gorgeous. Soft grass ringed the lake, and the tall trees overhead provided shade along one side perfect for relaxation. After most of an hour’s walk, several members of the party began to gravitate towards the water on instinct—Kevin among them.

Only Hwa and Hazel hung back. The former had been uncharacteristically quiet apart from continuing to indicate the direction of Blue’s magic when asked, and the latter stepped in close to speak to her as the rest began moving to the water’s edge.

The kumiho met Hazel’s eyes and the two stepped back into the trees where their conversation would be masked by the sound of splashing as the others began to drink. “What is it about Ishtar that has you so compliant?”

Hazel’s question was spoken gently, but was blunt enough that Hwa’s eyes widened in surprise. Then they narrowed again, before she let out a soft sigh. “Lily is a nightmare witch—a spirit of sex and dreams who harvests the energy of the lustful at night. Or at least, it is what I believed her to be. She wears the appearance of one, certainly, and her behavior as the hostess fits. The appearance of an actual goddess, though, and the revelation of Lily’s true name…” She shook her head for a moment, glowing eyes dropping to the sandy grass at their feet. A few seconds passed in silence after she trailed off, before she suddenly asked, “If the gods themselves have truly decreed that we are to participate in this farce, what chance do we have to resist?”

Hazel waited patiently as the Asian woman spoke. The nymph’s expression was serious, though not stern, with the ever-present smile on her lips fading until it was visible only in the slightly curled corners of her mouth. A few moments passed in silence, before she asked, “Are you going to give up?”

Hwa’s immediate response was to shake her head, but after the motion was complete, she took in a breath and let it out as a sigh. “I will resist. It is in my nature, yet—I now wonder if I am only playing into her hands.”

This time, the smile on Hazel’s lips spread into something as warm and sunny as the nymph herself. “We all have our part to play, Hwa, and there’s value to be had in questioning all assumptions. Maybe that’s yours.”

The kumiho cocked her head to the side in thought for a moment. Hazel wasn’t sure that the fox spirit was even aware of it, but behind her a single tail had escaped from beneath the skirts of her witch’s outfit and was lashing slowly back and forth.

About five minutes after the group reached the edge of the water, Tess finally spotted Blue herself. The harpy’s brilliant feathers matched the hue of the water almost perfectly, so while she might have blended in with the lake, against the backdrop of the trees and grasses of the oasis she stood out readily.

The harpy was at the base of one of the trees, feet splayed out to either side of a massive bunch of dates that she had apparently liberated from one of the trees overhead. She didn’t seem to have noticed the party’s arrival, even with the noise they were making, as she was focused instead of grabbing the ripe date fruits from the bunch so she could shove them into her face. The act had smeared a notable amount of pulp over her face and upper body—something that was more visible than normal as the only thing Blue wore was a simple, ragged loin cloth.

“Remember the plan—Penny, wait until we’re close and then try to capture her in your performance while everyone else sets up. We’ll need to circle around the lagoon to get close enough. Try to be as quiet as you can before we’re ready.” Kevin’s words were met with a series of nods and the group set back out into the palm trees to circle around the lagoon.

At fifty feet away from Blue, the harpy was still too engrossed in her bounty of dates to have noticed the party’s approach. They began to fan out in an attempt to encircle her, with Kevin and Penny staying in the center while Hwa, Hazel and Tess broke left and Elsie and Stheno broke right.

Once they were within a dozen yards of the half-naked woman, Penny parted her lips and began to sing.

“I've been hearin' your heartbeat inside of me
I keep your photo right beside my bed
Livin' in a world of fantasies
I can't get you out of my head, uh”

Instantly, Blue’s head whipped around. The harpy’s eyes narrowed on Penny and, exactly as expected, the siren’s song appeared to have captured her attention so that she paid the encroaching party members no mind.

What Kevin had not anticipated, however, was the strength and speed of Blue’s response. The loincloth she wore fluttered wildly as she sprang to her feet in a single moment, and even as green shoots at her feet began to wriggle through the dirt at Hazel’s command, the harpy was already in motion.

A streak of azure resolved itself into the shape of a gorgeously fit young woman as Blue closed the distance to Penny in a flash. Kevin had only a moment to gawk at the—slightly date stained—perky breasts bouncing in front of him before she hopped up and silenced Penny’s song by the simple but effective method of shoving her tongue down the siren’s throat.

Caught off-guard by the harpy’s attack, Penny’s singing turned swiftly into wordless moans that were no less captivating to those nearby. They intensified a moment later as Blue’s hand worked its way beneath the siren’s long skirts.

As the party watched, enraptured, the smaller, more athletic woman gradually bore Penny to the ground. Somehow unable to resist, the siren glanced around with wild eyes that seemed to latch onto Kevin’s face when they caught it. When Blue’s fingers found her rapidly moistening folds a moment later and began to tease them with supernaturally dexterous fingers a moment later, even that focus faded in the face of an onslaught of sensation.

Kevin stepped forward, about to interfere, but the siren’s performance was no less captivating when turned on her party. Blue’s lips broke their lock a moment later, but the breathy moans that escaped Penny’s mouth were performance enough that the Bard’s passive ability kicked in.

Elsie’s fingers slipped beneath the miniskirt of her outfit to mirror the actions of the harpy as she found herself enraptured by the performance. At her side, Stheno began to slither forward, though her focus appeared to be on Kevin rather than Blue.

Tess stared on in shock as her mind flashed back to her previous evening’s activities with her sister. As much as she wanted to deny it, the sight of Blue aggressively ravishing Penny was both familiar, and hot.

Hazel, even captivated by Penny’s involuntary performance, began to summon the roots of the date palms to her will. Wriggling green shoots began to sprout through the sand around the pair, but the roots of the massive trees were slow to expand and thus slow to respond.

Behind Hwa, nine white tails fanned out in a semicircle. For once, her outfit—the Token of Defiance—was helping more than it was hurting. The outfit resembled a high-end slutty witch costume, including a corset and skirts slit up to the hip, but the enchantment built into it helped ward off external magical influence. In this case, it helped her shrug off the influence of Penny’s ‘song’. The flavor of the harpy’s magic was new and exotic, though, and the kumiho’s mouth began to water at the taste of it. She started walking forward cautiously, gritting her teeth to help resist the siren’s magic.

It was only as Penny was brought to a swift climax at Blue’s fingers that Kevin remembered he had magic of his own on which to draw. House Rule let him feel the forces at work around him, and the moment he did he slapped his own forehead in dumbfounded astonishment.

Everything around was laced with magic, from the dates in the trees to the water in the lagoon, to the very sand under their feet. The nymph and kumiho had avoided drinking the water of the lagoon, but everyone else—Blue included—had quenched their thirst with a massive dose of aphrodisiacs. That the harpy had then gone on to gorge herself on dates was no surprise—a sheen of bronze swirled with lapis blue to his sixth sense—the fingerprint of Ishtar’s magic. He couldn’t actually tell what effect it had—apparently the guest hostess’ powers were far enough outside of the paradigm of his season that his class ability didn’t work properly on them—but its presence was unmissable if only he paid attention.

Penny gasped out one more time, then relaxed into the sand, sated. From the way her prodigious chest rose and fell, the bard was unlikely to be up for another performance soon, and that meant that by the time Hazel’s shoots began to spiral their way through the air towards Blue, the harpy was aware enough to dodge them. She launched herself up into the air outside of their reach, grabbed onto the trunk of a palm tree about ten feet up to perch, then scanned her eyes across the group.

Just when Blue was about to kick off towards her next target, Kevin realized what he needed to do. Ishtar had made the framing of the scenario clear enough, and while he might not have been a scholar of ancient mythology, he remembered enough about Gilgamesh and Enkidu to recognize that the harpy had been cast in the latter’s role. The wild man of myth had been tamed after he laid with a temple maiden and became civilized, so… Kevin undid his pants.

Instantly, the harpy’s eyes snapped to him. Her motion ceased as she focused with laser-like intensity as the dungeon master’s trousers fell to the grassy sand at his feet and he slowly lay on his back. The sight of Penny being brought to orgasm at Blue’s hand was enough that even without the effect of the lake water on him, he would’ve been hard—as it was, he felt as though his erection was ready to burst if it didn’t get attention. And attention it got.

Most of the party had seen Kevin’s dick before—only Penny and Tess had declined to get personally acquainted with it on their date nights—but from the way all eyes focused on it, it was as though the season’s master had unveiled a holy relic. Even Hwa, affected by neither siren’s song nor Harem Hotel lake water, found herself staring in rapt fascination as she felt, smelled, and tasted the mouthwatering power the shaft contained.

Five sets of feet and one serpentine body began to move in the same instant as the party started to converge.

They were all far too slow. In a streak of azure feathers, Kevin found himself suddenly straddled by a half-naked woman. Blue had launched herself from the tree so quickly that her landing kicked up sand, but the enchantment on the oasis meant that even that was no impediment to sex as the normally gritty substance refused to stick to skin and instead simply acted as a soft mattress.

“Hi, Blue.” If the harpy recognized her name, she gave no sign. There was an intensity to her gaze that Kevin found almost as captivating as Penny’s song, a focus and a need that seemed to have consumed most of what lay behind her eyes. She leaned down close, her nose burying itself against Kevin’s neck as she took a deep breath through it to capture his scent. Then she moaned and pressed her pert, athletic, perfectly sculpted body against his chest.

The harpy’s hips began to rock, and Kevin realized that the only reason he wasn’t already inside of her was that Blue was either too needy or too inexperienced to figure out how to line his shaft up with her entrance. Instead, the scant loincloth she wore fell to the side as she humped slick wet lips along his turgid erection and whined at the lack of further stimulation.

“You need to lift your hips more,” Kevin panted. The water had rapidly worked its way into his own system, and the public nature of his performance, even the original goal of capturing Blue was suddenly far less important than burying himself in her welcoming depths. She didn’t seem to understand, but when he tried to lift his hands to her hips to guide her, the gorgeous harpy responded to his motions fluidly.

She allowed herself to be lifted and lined up with his shaft, and the moment his tip tickled her entrance, Blue shoved herself halfway down his length. Both harpy and human moaned in unison, a sound echoed by both Elsie and Tess. The former felt both the needs of the now rutting couple and the fulfillment of their desires, while the latter’s hand had slipped its way between her own legs to touch herself through the smooth silver of her pants.

Blue began to bounce her hips rapidly, a series of unintelligible moans and grunts emerging from her lips as she sought her satisfaction on the dungeon master’s erection. Kevin found himself holding on for dear life, able to do little more than steer to keep the harpy from slipping off as she fucked him.

And Hazel, smiling at the display, still found it within herself to reach out to the nearby plants once more. This time, rather than taking her chances with the underground vines, the ones which adorned her answered her call. The nymph was left naked, but putting her figure on display hadn’t ever bothered her, and her own vines were far more responsive than the unfamiliar flora of the foreign magical oasis.

Blue didn’t even realize what was happening until it was far too late. She slammed herself down onto Kevin as she came, and the squeezing of her pulsing tunnel around his girth was enough to push him over the edge. Just as he emptied himself within her, bright green vines wrapped around the harpy’s torso, arms, and legs. She shuddered at their touch, but the way that her back arched and a wordless scream left her lips had nothing to do with plants, and everything to do with the primal satisfaction of fulfilling her needs.

The beat of massive wings announced the return of the goddess Ishtar.

This was followed by a slow clapping sound as she took in the scene below. Blue was still atop Kevin, straddling him from above and impaled on his length, but her arms were pulled behind her back by bright green living vines that anchored themselves to the two nearest trees.

“Well done, Master Kevin! You have captured the wild one and bound her as commanded.”

Kevin panted as he fought to catch his breath. He could feel the aphrodisiac water still coursing through him. Apparently a single orgasm wasn’t enough to purge its effects, but enough of the fog that had descended upon him for the last few minutes cleared that he was able to respond, “Does that mean we can go home now?”

Ishtar’s laugh was as beautiful as the goddess herself. She shook her head in amusement, “Almost. If we wanted to really do this justice, I should have you bed her for six days and seven nights to truly civilize her, but I think that in the interest of expediency we can say this time was enough for now.”

The hostess lifted her staff and a brief flash of blue from the gem at the top washed over the party. The moment it did, Blue froze. Then she moaned, and Kevin felt himself stirring all over again as the harpy’s hips rolled and she clenched down around him. When she looked down at his face, though, the intelligence was back in her eyes—though no less colored by desire. “Mmm. That was good. We should do that again. More. A lot.”

“Back with us?”

Blue nodded, and a moment later the vines began to relax as they released her from their grasp. The harpy stretched her arms above her head, but made no move to either cover herself, nor to dismount from her comfortable perch atop Kevin.

“The rest of the day is yours. The lagoon is safe to swim in, you can feast on dates, and I will have dinner brought to you when it is time. And, of course, when the evening draws near, you will be transported to your chambers in safety.” Ishtar’s words were spoken with a smile, and the hostess began to once more rise skyward as she departed.

Before she left, she called down, “I wish you luck in your journeys, adventurers of Harem Hotel. May you find always what you need.”

"She. Did. WHAT!?"