Giving It A Thought

My voice trails away and I actually think about it for a second, for maybe the first second. Considering the possibilities.

Look I'm not the most familiar with toys. I never got close enough to a girl when I was dating them for her to pull open her private drawer and walk me through things.

Like sex in general and sexuality in particular most of my understanding came from searches on the internet to satisfy my own needs, and anyone who isn't a fool knows that porn is really the worst place to learn about how pleasure works.

I was aware of the general categories and was smart enough and quick enough to put things together for myself. A dildo for this, a vibrator for that. Clamps and gags if you're getting kinky. Collars and whips, but that seemed too far for me and too off the mark for what we were here to do.

Sticking to the basics of a dildo I got it, I understood the nature of it. A stand in when you can't get the real thing, don't want to put in the effort, or just need a bit of private time. It filled the purpose and was a placeholder, accomplishing most of the same things. Pumping in and filling you up. Giving you the sensation of being fucked, even if you had to do all the work yourself.

And it occurred to me that I could have that. I could have that because frankly everytime I got close to the real thing, something was getting in my way. Everytime I had the chance to fuck, either they pulled back or I did and while I couldn't do anything about the former, the latter could be solved with a little helper.

A fake cock was a way to explore and understand things without going too far with the wrong guy. A fake cock, well it just might make some of my more wanton cravings easier to manage.

Hell, it might make it so that I don't feel the urge to spread my lips and swallow the cock of some seedy old cab driver the next time I find myself without money to cover the fare.

There was value in that, right?

So I **** myself to consider it and to choose my next words carefully. My mind in an instant racing to the sensation, to that needy little craving deep in my belly.

And I had visions of myself alone in my bed. Sliding the dildo down my body and between my breasts. Over my tummy and between my thighs and pressing it up and feeling it kiss against my skin. Feeling myself get wetter at the idea of pushing it into me, then almost truly feeling it press in deeper and harder. Parting my lips and making me gasp as I pulled it back and bit my bottom lip and thrust forward, the lightning strike feeling of being penetrated making my back arch and my eyes go wide and my back arch as I took as much as I could and pulled back to go even deeper on the next stroke forward.

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