Give Porkum A Dose Of His Own Medicine

The sky over Manhattan was so clear and cloudless that it seemed an endless sweep of blue straight overhead. Weather reports spoke of storms off the coast, possible showers. Yet people walked outside without umbrellas, took off sweaters, wrapped hoodies around their waists.

It was going to be a hot one. You could just feel it.

Porkum arose in a litter of empty bottles, cigar ashes, and greasy burger wrappers. He rolled out of bed to answer the call of nature, the tip of his enormous pick jutting out two feet in front of him. He cursed his morning wood. It would be the very devil to piss through. In the dark, he stumbled forward. There were more bonbons to send out today.

Soon, Sue Storm would come for him. He knew it, and Doctor Doom knew it. They had surprises in store for her.

"Doctor," he grumbled aloud, scratching his enormous pink gut. "He ain't even a real doctor. I checked! Never even graduated—"

Porkum squinted at the sudden bright light. Blindly, his hand went to the switch on the wall—it did nothing. That was when he remembered that he hadn't turned the light on.

His pink ears raised as he looked upwards, shielding his eyes against the glare.

The entire pork packing plant that served as his lair had gone as transparent as the finest crystal lenses. He stood in front of the toilet and stared upwards right into the overhanging sun and the endless blue sky.

A figure hovered up there, in a familiar blue uniform, a 4 printed on her bosom in white.

Sue Storm had a gun.

The first shot with the laser caused Porkum's toilet to explode.

In a panic, the mutant pig-man dove for cover. The walls and ceilings were transparent, but he still knew the layout of his lair, knew where the defraudium was. If he could just get to it in time, make his escape, he'd get that bitch back, make her pay.

It never occurred to him, as bits and pieces of his living area were slowly destroyed by the laser rifle, that the Invisible Woman was missing deliberately. That she wanted to see where the radioactive isotopes were hidden. Most especially, Porkum never considered that his intended victim had brought friends.

He wrenched open the safe and grabbed a chunk of yellow crystal. That was when he heard it.

Zzzzapp!

Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, had concealed herself well. She kept her distance. As soon as the safe door opened, leaking its sickly yellow light, she had unleashed her hexbolt.

Porkum did not understand what happened as his skin suddenly felt too small. He screamed, not in agony, but in surprise as his immense phallus retreated. Fell to his knees in horror as the massive bitch-breeding balls forced themselves up inside of his body. The flabby pecs on his chest filled out into enormous saggy tits—and as the horror of it all hit, Porkum's voice found a new, higher register.

A feminine squeal of shock and horror.

And the now-feminine Porkum felt the tell-tale tingle and weakness flow over her as the defraudium did its work. Shutting down her mutant powers. Sapping her middle-class superhuman strength. Dulling her thoughts.

Sue sighed as she let the invisibility drop on the Tigra and Hellcat, who, like the Scarlet Witch, had stealthily infiltrated the building with full biochemical masks to protect them from Porkum's pheromones. The two women struck swiftly. Within the aura of the defraudium gem, the two lost their superhuman abilities. Yet they were fit and nimble fighters, experienced and vicious, with claws that could easily slice through soft pink skin—and they had the drop on Porkum.

The mutant pig-woman collapsed, still clutching onto the defraudium gem.

"Hellcat to Lady Liberators. Target is down. Prepare for transport."

In Latveria, Doctor Doom, alerted by the hidden sensors and defenses he had put into place around the building, watched all of this on the monitors. Deciding when and how to assist his erstwhile "partner."