Get to know Nancy

You groan awake, feeling very nice. It's like sex, but some strange grinding motion you've never felt before.

"Hey, I was just about to wake you up."

The events of last night come back to you. Sitting on your computer chair is Nancy, the lesbian who let your dick (with you not involved) fuck her for ages. You look at your groin (Ken doll-like) and then hers, trying to figure out if she can be making the motions you're feeling.

"Ew, no. I'm sorry but in the light of day that was way too obviously a disembodied dick and not a dildo. I don't regret last night at all, but your housemates took it with them. I think you're inside the brunette."

Huh. So that grind is being inside her while she walks. "They left you behind?"

"I was basically asleep and only got up and showered because of the sheer amount of drool and cum underneath me. I wanted to talk about your plan to save the world, anyhow. Also get to know you. We should be friends, as long as you grasp that our clothes stay on."

Oh, yes. Nancy's here for noble reasons. You're not political, and have no idea if the world's really going to melt unless we switch to electric cars and windmills. You do understand that the problem is carbon, and the simplest form of conjuration takes existing materials.

"Well, basically I should be able to do conjuration." You still have that strange sense of knowing for certain whenever you have a correct guess about your magic. "Yes, I can. And the best way of doing conjuration is to take existing materials. Let me do a small scale test." You close your eyes and a tiny diamond appears in your palm. "Tada! Carbon no longer in the air."

"Wow. That's really cool. But also tiny. How much energy did that take?"

"With the girls out for a walk, I should be able to recharge in like an hour."

Nancy slumps. "Fuck. Fuck! I was so hoping you would have a magical answer. I should have known there's no way around the stupid scale of the problem. Anyone can plant a tree and do a bit of good. But that doesn't solve the problem because we put utterly stupid amounts in the air. It'll take billions of years at that rate."

"Well, I have a trick to multiply it. Instead of making a diamond, I could make something that lets me gain faster."

She spun around and started typing on your computer saying "Yes! Your spreadsheet!"

Hmm, I guess we really should be friends. Anyone who shares my love for the best sort of document is amazing. And having incredibly hot friends is good for your social life. Note to self: Avoid hitting on her at all costs.

"Fuck. So the good news is it could work. The bad news is each diamond is like a tenth of a gram or something. Even if we assume we have 20 years left before tipping points, you'd still need to get 15.8 trillion girls helping. Any other bright ideas?"