Get creative without spending money.

I can't spare the money to buy expensive drinks all night. Dating gets so expensive. I could use this as a challenge to not spend any money. I make myself a cocktail at home and enjoy it before going out, juicing all the limes while I'm at it. I do a little extra cleanup around the apartment, then head to the bar fashionably late, not that I want to make her wait, but to allow her time to enjoy a drink and take in the setting, hopefully making our encounter feel more like a serendipitous meeting of strangers.

The wind is still whipping when I walk to Rudolf’s, mussing my hair and making the folded collar of my shirt flutter. When I get inside the bar I realize that I've made extra work for myself. She is sitting at the bar, looking fantastic, wearing a slender cocktail dress that is black and lacy, her red hair wildly cascading all around her. She is impossible to miss. And not having been missed, a guy is already chatting her up. She seems to be comfortable with his attention, leaning toward him and smiling. If she is looking to get laid by a stranger tonight, maybe she is playing all her options, especially if there was a chance that I was a no-show. I sit down at the empty barstool on the other side of her. The guy is definitely flirting with her. I ask the bartender for a water. Neighbor hottie glances over at me and gives me a quick smile of recognition, that then becomes mischievous. She turns back to the guy, intent on continuing the conversation. I am just another stranger afterall. If I want to take this babe home, I had better start competing here.

I struggle for a bit, sipping water while looking for an entry point that isn’t overly rude. I can’t do it by buying the lady drinks, and she has one already. And if I am just sipping water and not talking to anyone, I am going to look like a weirdo after a while. I casually listen in to the conversation next to me. The guy sounds decent, although he is obviously trying too hard to impress her and she is graciously humoring him. I’ve been that guy before, so I feel for him. For a moment I think that I should just leave them alone to work it out together, they might both be happy with the outcome... I steal a glance at her again. Up close I see the black lacy swirls of her dress are held together by a skin tone fabric that does little to hide her red bra and panties. She is dressed to get attention. She is certainly arousing mine... Hell if I’m going to let this guy take her home tonight without earning it.

“...so I jumped into the lake and pulled him back to shore.”

“Well, that was awfully brave of you, Doug,” she offers.

“Oh—I don’t think so,” Doug says. “I just did what anyone would have done... It wasn’t that dangerous, just cold that time of year.”

Neighbor hottie seems to be enjoying the conversation enough to not be looking for excuses to escape it. I, on the other hand, am fatigued by it. They can have their conversation, I’ll fallback to physical magnetism. I roll up my sleeves. I have been complimented on my forearms a few times, so I guess that is a thing women notice. I gently tap neighbor hottie’s shoulder. She turns to me, acting more surprised than she felt, no doubt.

“Pardon the interruption. Would you mind passing me that drink menu if you aren’t using it?” I point to a booklet near them on the bar, just extending my arm enough to be in her peripheral vision.

“Of course!” She says, following my arm to the menu, then turning to me as she hands it over, giving me a subtle smile which I interpret as saying, ‘I am having fun, how about you?’

“Thank you.” I take it, brushing my fingers across hers. I raise an eyebrow and hold eye contact a second longer than normal etiquette would dictate, then I pretend to browse the menu. She gives me an extra moment before turning back, expecting me to make some kind of follow-up move. I don’t. Instead, I turn slightly away from her, flipping to the next page. Then I start listening to the two women chatting on the other side of me. One of them is describing a movie she saw recently. It sounds a lot more interesting than listening to Doug talk about himself.

“Wait, are you talking about ‘Get Out’? I just saw that, too. It was SO good!” I say, butting in with more enthusiasm than I felt, in part, to make sure neighbor hottie notices that I can play the same game. They glance at me, then the one closest to me turns just enough to let me be part of the conversation. We go back and forth about it, then some other movies, then some actors. I get them to laugh. Take that, neighbor hottie, two to your one. I can flirt all day. After about ten minutes of this, both of us pretending that she and I aren’t competing or listening in on each other, I make my next move. While I am talking to the ladies, I scoot back as far as I can on the stool toward neighbor hottie and lean toward her until our backs just kiss. She automatically pulls away out of social courtesy, then realizing it was intentional, leans back until we are touching again. I feel her pleasant warmth while talking with the ladies.

For the next move, I swivel just a little and cross my arms so my hand tucked under my armpit. From this hidden position, my fingers graze hottie’s scapula. I trace slow circles for several minutes while we have our separate discussions. I feel goosebumps rise across her skin. I can tell by the way she twists slightly that she wants to feel me touch her on other parts of her back, too. I start opening and closing my fingers, dragging my nails lightly back and forth. I feel another wave of bumps rise on her skin as she shivers. I pretend to keep listening to the movie conversation, but in reality I am completely distracted. Judging by the way my neighbor is responding to my touch, and the way her responses to Doug are getting thinner, I think she is seriously distracted as well.

I start to make a game of it, looking for more ways to distract her surreptitiously. A blow on her neck here, or a incidental touch there. Giving her tiny shivers is my new favorite hobby.

After the ladies leave, I decide to get riskier. From where Doug can’t see, I pluck at her shoulder strap a little at a time, nudging it ever so slightly toward her shoulder until it threatens to drop. Her response to Doug falters as she pulls it back into place. Then I switch to her legs, finding a few small opportunities to graze her thigh. Then , when I see Doug is ordering more drinks, I drop a napkin just so I can bend down, brazenly running my hand down her entire leg, then back up it again during the retrieval, eliciting another shiver from her. After ordering the drinks, Doug excuses himself to use the restroom.

She whips around to face me and says in a strong whisper, “Oh, you have to stop—you are driving me crazy. I can barely even complete a sentence.” I casually put a hand on her knee, claiming it. She looks at it, a hand that is not her husband’s.

“Your body is so reactive. I can’t help it. What else does your body want?”

“To get out of here soon and fuck.”

“So what do you want to do about Doug? We could ditch him right now.”

“Ohhhh....” She pouts and makes puppy dog eyes. “That would be so mean. He is such a sweetie.” The two cocktails that Doug ordered arrive.

“I could scare him away... Or... tell him I’m your driver, and that’s why I’m only drinking water.”

“Why are you only drinking water?” She slides her new drink to me. I take a grateful sip and slide it back, ignoring the question.

“Unless you want him to take you home instead...” She screwed up her face in a way that suggests that it was not what she wants, but might do it anyway if better options don’t appear. “Or both of us?” It hadn’t been intended as a serious offer, but I had tossed it out to see what she is thinking about this whole situation.

“Oh my!” She raised an eyebrow at that. She gave me the ‘I’m having fun. How about you?’ smile again.

“That isn’t the kind of fun I really had in mind, but it would make a great story for Your husband though.”

“He is coming back. I’m going to visit the ladies room. Don’t go anywhere. Figure something out. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get fucked soon.” Her eyes smolder at that. I watch her get up and walk away, looking classy and slutty, like a refined lady of the night.

Doug sits down. He saw us talking and the way I watched her leave. He is looking at me anxiously.