From the Lost Mailbags of the Hotel, Part 1: 4 Letters and an Invitation

The Show-Runner

A brief interruption for some citations. The following is a bit of a grab bag of mail. Most of it is from the replies my gang sent XarHD’s gang after the publication of the HH’s second batch of fan-mail. A couple of those letters were not officially published, but were at least mentioned in this branch’s narration. Harper’s letter to Andy in the HH’s third batch of fan-mail was based on responding to his letter below. Also, this sets up a couple of things from my branch for Andy’s party. I am almost able to throw in the branch hooks. Thanks for XarHD for continuing to let me write crazy nonsense that needs to be dealt with.

Harper

The first harvest was surprisingly successful. It helped that The Hunger attacked at the beginning of summer, where the farmers mostly needed to keep the crops watered. It rains frequently enough along the Mithril Coast that, outside of a severe drought, the farms can afford to leave crops unattended for a couple of weeks. Queen Kaelis ordered Harper to take a break; the pace she has been working has been too much for too long. Harper would admit to herself that the stress of learning how to run the queendom has been greater than even the stress of the show, both past and future. So many people are relying on her.

So, when Daphne burst into her office with interdimensional mail, all shark-toothed smiles, Harper can’t help but chuckle, hoping to get something light to distract her from serious thoughts.

“Hey, Beloved. Mail time! I didn’t get anything this time, but you got quite a bit! Want some company as you read and answer them? We could do it in the pool! I got it filled up with sea water!”

Mail and sea water don’t exactly mix. “How about I answer these, then join you in the pool later?”

Daphne kisses her on the cheek, then drops off four letters, all from Andy’s set. Harper opens the first, randomly:

Dear Harper (may I address you as Harper? I understand you have acquired titles now. Please excuse me if this is a faux pas.),

My apologies for taking so long to write back. A lot has happened and I have been focused on other, more immediate concerns, but I should not have stayed away from a response for so long. First: I admire the idea of your collection spanning multiple worlds. I would love to read variants of known classics from other dimensions, and write about how their differences are linked to the way history went different ways in different worlds. I also do collect commemorative spoons. I like books better, however.

Thank you for elaborating on the origins of the bishops-in-mitres engravings. I believe I may have had a small brain aneurysm while reading the explanation, however. I don't think, at least, I will wonder ever again about some of these oddities in Arabella's collection. Also, I'm not going to ask how steel can be birthed from an ever-orgasming succubus but thank you for explaining. I appreciate it very much.

Now I understand Erin has already written an invitation to attend Andy's surprise birthday party; I look forward to meeting you in person. With the occasion, I would like to thank you for being a friend to Andy, especially at the beginning, when he needed all the support he could get. I have made the case to him that he needs to connect with other Masters, because while we can help him and support him, his position is singular by default and his interactions – with the set, with us, with the Host – are by nature different. I am happy he was able to build a connection with you, and I hope this connection remains strong after your show and ours are both over.

I hope to meet you in person at the party, and wish you all the best.

With warmest regards,

Claire

Birthday party? Andy is having a birthday party on set? As long as some of the seasons have been running (that Nick one is on like episode 875 or something?), I’m surprised that hasn’t popped up yet. I should bug “Ms. E” about teaching me how to sync dimensions. It’ll be good practice. Oh, I should respond to the letter.

Harper addresses the camera; there are, of course, advantages to becoming a Host for the Hotel, such as always knowing when a Hotel camera is on you. “Hey, Claire, glad to hear from you. No worries about my formal titles and all of that. I am perfectly content to be treated like a normal person; I just tolerate the pomp because I am expected to.”

“I could say the same thing about the delay. It’s been months since we’ve gotten free of the show. I’ve been busy learning how to be a queen and dealing with harem complications. I can see why the evil Masters have a tendency to abandon part of the harem once they get off of the show. The same feelings of exhaustion that plague the Master on the show just... continues, but without the structure of the show to keep you on track. I have a dozen different timers I have to pay attention to, connected to a dozen different people that I care for very much, in addition to my more mundane duties, and it’s tiring. You are right about the Masters needing to be friends; it’s strangely lonely, though, you may feel that from Andy already.”

“You’re welcome for the explanation. Glad to be of assistance. The multiverse can get complicated. Sorry for the commemorative spoon gag.”

“I try to be a good friend, or at least a good pen pal. I look forward to meeting you and yours at the party. You and yours are also free to visit here when you can.”

Harper stares at her bookshelf. She does have a spare copy of that one strange book she found at a local online bookstore scrolling for some cultural reference material. It’s so weird how accurately the author described Victorian Connecticut, even if it like a fantasy land to the people here. Maybe Claire would like something to start that literary critique dream? Harper will be sure to snag it for her before heading out to the party.

The next letter:

Harper,

I debated whether to respond to your letter, not because I did not want to, but because given the time differential between your set and Arabella's, I was concerned I would add fuel to the flames, as it were. However, I realize a response might be just as much a source of comfort as it might hurt, and so I decided to follow up.

I'm not going to lie to you, Harper. You did fail me. And you should have done better.

But the same is true for me, and honestly, I don't even know if it IS possible not to fail anyone in this game. The nature of interpersonal relationships in such a setting practically invite failure. So perhaps, the best thing I can tell you is: do your best not to fail anyone else, but if it happens through no fault of your own, don't beat yourself up. None of us is perfect.

For what is worth, I believe Andy sees you as a friend, too. Certainly I have heard him speak well of you, and I understand he appreciates your exchanges. I am happy you have found someone with whom you can discuss the loneliness of the position of a Master, or Mistress; I do not claim to fully understand the burden, but even I can see it is substantial. I hope you and Andy can keep in touch when your seasons are over: something tells me you both would benefit from keeping regular contact with someone who went through the same thing you did.

Thank you for your comments about what you have seen when you watched the relevant episodes. It is hard work, yes, and sometimes there is nothing we can do but to make our patients comfortable. But even that is more than their Masters did, and any measure of peace is better than absolute torment. While I haven't been able to recover Jenny yet, I would believe even for one such as her, to know she is among others who understand her suffering, and to be treated with respect, even communicated with (via Arabella's telepathy boon) would be a relief beyond anything she has hoped for since her transformation. Who knows? Perhaps we'll find a way to bring her here, in the future. Thank you for your offer to help: it is appreciated.

I have considered the dangers of becoming too interested in one of Andy's Contestants. For now, I am merely curious to meet Sam. And Marissa, too, though in that case it is more professional curiosity, I suppose. But for now, I am not concerned, and I know Arabella would warn me if my interest became of a kind that could end up adding me to Andy's harem. I also believe that, unlike Masters in other seasons (Mr. Garret comes to mind) Andy is not actively seeking to increase his harem. That may or may not make a difference.

Arabella tells me she suspects Sam, Dawn and Chloe may be planning to throw a party for Andy's birthday, which I understand will occur a few days before the Fourth Challenge. I also understand that that challenge day will be hard for Andy, as it will be the same day as the birthday of his long-lost first love, Laura.

That being said, Arabella asked me to let you know that although Sam, Dawn and Chloe haven't realized they'll organize something yet (I assume there are more timey-wimey shenanigans involved), you are invited to said birthday, with up to two guests. Arabella said she'll connect with Ms. E to organize a time sync and ensure you can visit the set when it's time.

Hopefully, you won't be fully in the endgame then and will be able to join. Bring Skye and Scarlet – Arabella said she'll be happy to suspend Skye's Embarrassed Clothed Female transformation while on set, as well. And I know some of Andy's contestants have expressed the desire to meet those girls in particular. So have I.

I will see you at that party, I hope. Until then, stay safe, and do you best on Season Clusterfuck.

Dinah

This letter hurts less than Harper would have expected it to. She doesn’t know if the damage she suffered from has just healed over the months or just knowing that Dinah forgave her enough to reach out (twice!) is soothing the wound. Thinking about her still hurts, but it’s muted now. Less searing. The spiritual equivalent of phantom limb syndrome.

“Some things just need to be said in person, Dinah. We’ll talk at the party. Thank you.”

The third letter is not really a letter at all. A simple party invitation, with an RSVP card. Harper fills it out and seals it. She doesn’t know when exactly she can send it, but she isn’t missing the party.

The final letter is the expected one from her pen pal:

Harper,

I'm sorry I didn't get to write back earlier, but as you know, we went through another challenge. A collaborative one, which was a refreshing change this time, in a museum that I think is rather... unique. You have already have seen this, of course. In the end, I used my veto to prevent Riley's elimination. It isn't just me, is it, noticing how harems tend to grow significantly from the starting contestants? I get the feeling you had the same experience.

Anyway, the new contestant is... different from the others. She's also from middle school, but she... well, I'm sure you're up to date on the season, so you know who and what she is. I was angry at her when she arrived. And angrier still that I was asked to baby sit her. But finding out she had no idea what her lies had done... and that she had punished herself for it, regardless, for so long... Hell, I'm a stubborn person by nature, but even i have limits. And I'm trying to do better than how I behaved with Chloe, or with Riley.

Would you believe in a few days it's my birthday? Crazy, to think how much time has already passed since we arrived here. And despite the transformations, I feel like we're building something real here. Less sex-focused than your harem, but it takes all kinds, right? I don't know your harem, of course, although someday I'd like to meet the women who can keep you on the straight and narrow, but I think we are all products of our worlds and of the contests we were thrown into.

By the way, I saw Dinah last round. She's doing well, and I know she mentioned she was going to write you, so perhaps you already know. But she's doing good work, Harper. You'd be proud of her. I don't mean to be insensitive, but she's probably doing more good now than she could have ever done in your harem. She's happy. It made me smile to see her happy. And I think we're friends, now. Strange, how someone you meet by accident can become someone you care so much about, but... well, you've seen the episodes, you know what we discussed. Either way, Arabella definitely kept her word with her.

Look, I know it's going to be hard, during this last trial. But as you said, you'll be successful. I believe in you and in yours. You're going to show that hag what you're all made of, and you're going to not just win, but triumph. Whatever happens, however hard it gets, please remember you have an interdimensional friend who roots for you and yours. And if there's anything I can do, you have but to ask.

Gotta go now, for some reason the girls seem to be hellbent on keeping me on full-day dates this week. I suppose woe is me, right? But seriously, Harper. Anything you need, you let me know. I'll figure out a way.

Your friend,

Andy

Harper just watched the challenge episodes last night, snuggled up with Mattie. The time distortion effects between dimensions are weird. She has no idea when she can send her letter, but she can certainly pre-write most of it and make corrections as a final draft right before mailing it. Pen and paper in hand, she starts to compose. Daphne did want to go swimming; she’s proud of the pool she’s built.

Skye

Ms. Daphne finds Skye and Lady Aelene working with the royal steward to plan for Lady Aelene’s wedding to Harper. The steward has been quite annoyed with the mermaid ever since she started construction of a swimming pool without the high elf’s permission.

“Hi! Mail time, you two.”

Ms. Daphne hands a letter to Skye and another one to Lady Aelene. The steward takes the opportunity to take a break. Skye opens her letter:

Skye,

You are so beautiful! Thank you so much for your selfie. I am sorry my pictures didn't do you justice. But the color of your skin and the glint of your eyes are both incredible. I am a little jealous! I didn't have the time to do a full painting, but I am attaching a couple of my sketches based on your selfie. I'm doing some studies and intend to paint your portrait properly this time. I am happy we are friends and I want you to know how much your letters mean to me.

I am happy that Aelene said she loves you and you could say it back, and that Harper is okay with you dating each other. Andy is of a similar mindset about us, but most of us do not find other women sexually attractive, and would rather be with Andy for that. We do, however, enjoy spending time together, which makes the days pass by faster. Sure, it's hard sometimes when you know your next turn with Andy will be in two weeks. But that's the restriction of the show. When it's over, no one says Andy has to sleep with only one of us. Right?

I will point out, as a friend should, that you have fallen slightly into your old habits by telling me you think I will be able to supervise Andy. Andy doesn't need supervision any more than I, Dawn, or Erin do. I understand your world may see men as inferior, at least in your culture, but this is not the case in my world.

Speaking of worlds. I know Erin sent an invitation to Harper to attend Andy's birthday party. It's a surprise, so make sure Harper doesn't tell Andy! Anyway, Erin proposed Harper can bring two people with her, and I would like it very much if you were one of the two. I would like to meet you in person and finally have the chance to talk! I could show you the painting I'm doing, and maybe you could pose for it?

Let me know if you will come. I am so excited! I hope to see you soon!

Your friend,

Emi

“So, Lady Silmerana, was does your letter say?”

Oh, yes, Lady Aelene has difficulties with reading Common. I should talk through my letter from Emi. “Oh, it’s a letter from Emi. She starts by complimenting me; I sent her a selfie picture as a part of my last letter because she was unsure of what I looked like. She wants to paint me.”

“Oh, that would be nice. The royal portraitist keeps asking you to sit for a painting. Perhaps he won’t be too offended to allow Emi’s portrait to be placed in the Royal Art Gallery.”

Skye still has some residual self-doubt about her looks, but she nods. Maybe Emi’s painting will let me be okay with it? “I’ll ask. She goes on to approve of you courting me and then notes that, while they could pursue each other for companionship in the harem in addition to Andy, since most of them are straight, they don’t. That makes me a little sad. I know that I would long for some cuddles on nights we aren’t in our lady love’s bed without you being there, Lady Aelene.”

Lady Aelene offers a slight smile, “And I for you, Lady Silmerana.”

“Then she lightly chastises me for slipping into ‘men need supervision’ in my last letter. I know that I was raised wrong in that regard, but I still sometimes think that way. I’m a little ashamed about it.”

Lady Aelene wraps Skye into a side hug, “It’s okay that you are not perfect, my love, so long as you work on it.”

Skye gets giddy on the last bit, “Oh, and the party she mentioned in her last letter is happening. And it’s a surprise! I need to text our lady love to remind her not to spoil it. It sounds like our love can only bring +2. Are you close enough to one of the other girl’s in Andy’s harem to get the other invite? It be nice to go to a party with you.”