From Castles to Mansions

There was someone deep in the castle. Locked away further than anyone thought they could go. A self-imposed isolation. Protecting themselves from the rest of the world perhaps? Or protecting the rest of the world from themself? A person threatening to tear the whole kingdom asunder if they didn’t get their wishes…

“You’ll have to come out of the pillow fort sometime, Iris.”

The prisoner grumbled, “No!”

“Princess, please… this is not the way you are suppos-”

“How I’m SUPPOSED to act, Claire?!” She snarled in response, kicking her legs about with the **** of a thousand suns, “Maybe if father was around more, I’d have learned some proper MANNERS!” More kicking, caring little for her prison of silky pillows and sheets.

Kazuma sighed. This was going about as well as he thought it would, but having Iris suffer alone wouldn’t have sat right with him either. It wasn’t like he had much guidance to give here. Parental woes was something he’d been without for about two years now, and longer than that if you counted how much he’d ignored his parents’ advice. Being a daughter of the King was so far away from his life it wasn’t even funny.

“Iris…” The adventurer started before a massive hand encompassed his shoulder. It could have easily pushed him to the floor, but though it was huge it was a gentle touch as well. Kazuma looked up with wide eyes to see Jeronim easily looming over him.

“My daughter…”

The kicking inside the fortress stopped. Silence in the cushiony prison as a little girl tried to hide from the silly father that had upset her.

“I was wondering if you’d permit an old fool to play a game of chess?” said Jeronim, walking over to the small table in her quarters and placing himself in front of it. Awkwardly sitting there “casually” while glancing far too frequently in the direction of the pillow fort.

It was all quiet on the bedroom front for about half a minute. But soon rustling could be heard, and a small pair of bright blue eyes peered out from between two draped blankets. They were a little red, but had a little less anger from when he’d seen them last. Crawling out from her spot, Iris soon presented herself properly with a quiet nod.

“I can permit it, father…”

With a little shuffle the princess hurried her little fit over to her desk where her new chessboard lay. The three bystanders looked on happily before both the King and Princess looked at them with lowered eyebrows. After a beat, they excused themselves in a hurry, Kazuma, Rain, and Claire all shutting Iris’ doors behind them as they lingered in the hallway.

“Well, all’s well that ends well,” said Kazuma with a happy sigh.

Rain nodded, guiding the three of them to begin moving partially away from the door to not eavesdrop accidentally, “Indeed, thank you for your help, Kazuma.”

“Wait. Did you just thank me?”

“Don’t read too much into it,” Claire snapped, folding her arms but with an undeniable blush on her face. She and Rain began silently conversing with their eyes, frowns and glances abound between them. Kazuma had no idea what they were “saying” to each other, but he also didn’t care too much either way. “Tell us, what are you going to do now, Kazuma?”

He raised an eyebrow, “Hm? Uhm, well, I guess it depends on what the plan is with Musume,” He said honestly, a bitter frown growing on his face. “Hopefully it involves putting her to work for how much fucking money she cost…”

“It is true. Your foolish debts are mighty l-”

“What about your harem?” Rain blurted out, earning a frown from Claire that was missed by Kazuma, “Is the debt going to affect new hires?” The two whispered angrily to each other while he pondered the question.

“Well yeah, obviously. We already won’t be able to add anyone else after a couple weeks at the end of the month; but even if we could then I’d say we’re at our absolute debt limit. Pussy for life in prison has finally become a bad deal for mEEEEE!!!!”

Without warning, Kazuma was dragged from his walkway strut into a full on wizard tumble. His body falling onto the floor into a side passageway used by the butlers and maids, all with a purple dressed wizard lying on top of him.

He rubbed the back of his aching head, “What the hell, Rain?!”

“Sorry! But you’ll still consider some new people for the harem, r-right?!” Rain insisted rather heavily, her hands grasping at his shirt hopefully, “Old friends, rivals, acquaintances, there has to be some leeway?!” Kazuma blinked in surprise at the woman’s tender pleas, wondering if he’d really truly won her over last night. She clasped her hands together to literally beg on his chest, “Please! Starting a family is much so much easier with some funding!”

“WHAT?! You just want my damn MONEY!?”

She didn’t move from her begging position, “Please! Claire, come beg for our family too!”

That threw Kazuma for a loop. He quickly casted a strange glance over to the blonde who hated him. “Wait, what? ‘Our’ family?”

“Yes, you blithering idiot. We’re dating,” Claire bit back. “And we were going to ask Mitsurugi to donate his seed for us, but now you’re the only one we’re legally allowed to ask…”

“Oh…boy. I feel so needed and loved right now! I sure will gladly help you two out!” He snarled sarcastically, trying to push Rain off of him but she was surprisingly strong for a wizard. “Get off of me already!”

“Not until you help us!”

“You two don’t even like me! Why would you want to have my babies growing inside you?!”

“Hey! I’ve always liked you!”

That threw Kazuma for another loop. Rain’s admission stopped his struggling for a general confused reaction, to which she awkwardly began explaining.

“I mean… you can be a nuisance… but I always thought the smile you put on Iris’ face was sweet. Your boyish charms never rubbed me the wrong way like Claire, though she said the amount of impressive wins under your belt certainly made her see you as more of an actual man.”

“Oh…”

“Plus, you may have already gotten us pregnant anyway,” Claire added, not denying or confirming anything. “We’d just like to be confirmed on the payroll if that is the case.”

Kazuma would never deny someone that. He was already terrified of how many kids he was going to have, but bringing new life into the world and not providing them the same support as the others sounded awful. Not to mention a recipe for a new super villain probably.

Though he also couldn’t deny the chance to milk the scene a little.

“Hmmm…will I get to have some more sexy times with you t-?”

“Yes!”

Rain’s answer was clear and far too quick. Claire just rolled her eyes but after a prolonged stare from Kazuma she too agreed with a nod. “Well, alright then. I say we seal it with a threeway kiss~”

The eyes of her two only lovers made the blonde roll her eyes hard, but the blushing Claire did kneel down to join the two on the floor. Kazuma stuck his manly tongue out of his mouth with a near sickening grin, but still Claire followed in her partner’s footsteps to stick her own tongue out and bring it to his face.

A trio of tasters tantalisingly twirled around. Saliva slipped from one mouth to another as the pair of bisexual women whom Kazuma believed hated him were now sharing in a very intimate and close bonding experience. It was messy, dirty, and lewd as all hell, but the three couldn’t seem to stop indulging in each other erotically on the floor.

The wizard guardian of the Princess took the initiative to take it to the next level, gripping Kazuma’s cock and fishing it from his green pants to let it stand very tall and proud between them. Her long fingers that had pleasured Claire were now wrapped around the meaty girth, toying it to life with such an eager gusto that the blonde couldn’t help but join in on the fun. Taking the top half of Kazuma’s cock with her left hand while Rain pumped the bottom half with her right.

They were still kissing away but turns were being taken now. Usually indicated by whichever one of them Kazuma was groping at the time. The brunette had an outfit more built for groping, so his hands were able to get in and fondle her chest more readily. Rain moaned a bit more lewdly into Kazuma’s mouth than Claire ever dreamed of doing. Though it wasn’t like she was silent when his focus shifted to her either. Kazuma had discovered that the blonde was more stacked than she let on last night, with quite the sensitive nipply weakspots that he was happy to exploit. Getting his hands under her clothes to pinch at her nips while her own fingers milked his cock.

Handjobs were a very new experience for Claire, but she was taking to it well. Matching Rain’s rhythm and really enjoying the feel of manly heat through her fingers. Precum leaking down his slit and covering her hand, making it both more slippery and more sticky to caress his cock. Barely able to even close her hand, but knowing the more she clenched the more the boy groaned.

It made her almost proud to make Kazuma like this.

Claire was getting more and more into it. Leaning into the madness, and knowing that Rain was right there with her. They bumped hands, they groaned together, and sometimes they even began kissing to amuse Kazuma as well.

“F-fuck! Keep stroking!”

It was during one of those feminine makeouts that the cock below them decided to unleash its batter.

Claire instinctively jumped back, but Rain grabbed the back of her head and kept their lips together. Semen blasting up from below their faces to squirt up between the kisses. Claire had gotten a facial last night, but never a shared one. Her hair’s blue streak suddenly joined by a white one that had managed to reach all the way up her. More and more boiling semen spurted up from below to contaminate their chins and drip into cleavages, but mostly aiming to make both their faces messy at once. Rain wasted no time to lick Claire then push semen into her mouth, the heavenly substance making the blonde groan in happiness before reciprocating the move for the brunette.

Their makeout continued even as Kazuma’s cock began to wilt. The huge amount of heated salt on their faces was palpable, but the two were far more concerned with kissing than they were with whatever was happening around them.

Which is how all three of them missed someone walking up and finding them in this position. “Kazuma? Where are y-?!”

“M-MEGUMIN?!” Kazuma yelped, quickly shoving the two off his body and bringing his pants up from his knees. “It, uh, well-!”

“No, no, nevermind! I can see that you’re BUSY!” She yelled back, stomping away before any of them were able to get a word in.

Not that that was going to stop Kazuma.

“HEY! Get back here!” He barked, scrambling to his feet to follow her down the pearly palace hallway, “So maybe it was what it looked like, but you know I’m the head of a harem now! Why are you being weird?!”

“...weird? WEIRD?!” She gawped, “Well maybe I still didn’t believe it until I saw your disgusting semen DRIPPING from Claire’s face!” The wizard snipped, darting down a different corridor and getting annoyed when Kazuma easily followed. “You’ve clearly had a very good week without me, haven’t you?”

“I mean, it hasn’t been the worst!” She looked extra hurt at that and once more stormed off in another direction, prompting him to follow a few paces behind. “But it's not like I wouldn't have preferred you being there! I just happened to have a great sex-filled week! That isn’t evil!”

“Fine! Whatever!”

She was only increasing her speed to get away from him.

“Then why are you running from me?!”

She turned to stop abruptly, making him screech to a halt and nearly into her scowling face. “Oh gee, I dunno, Kazuma. Maybe I’m upset because I didn’t have a great week? Maybe I’m upset because I found out that the second I leave, you go on a massive adventure without me?” With a tug of his collar she brought him down to her level to really grind teeth in his face, eyes locked hard with his terrified pair. “Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, I’m upset because the guy I wanted to chat to… about us… now has two… TWO-! …ugh.”

And then she stomped off again. Kazuma blinked, a blushing surprise on his face at her admission before lowering his eyebrows, “H-hey! You broke up with me, remember!?”

“We were taking a break, you blockhead!”

“That’s code for breaking up! Everyone knows that!” He yelled, refusing to let the argument be won by her walking away again.

“That’s a stupid code!”

“You never even told me WHY you started getting angry with me all the time!”

Her eyes were very angry now, the red seemingly glowing from how much rage filled the small girl’s bones. “Yes! You do!”

“Fine! I know the stupid reason you told me! But you never got real enough with me to tell me the actual reason!”

“IT WASN’T STUPID!” She screamed, turning back to him once more… and activating a swirl of energy around her feet. The same wind began to pick up that happened every time she wanted to ruin a castle.

“Oh, real mature, Megumin! More threats on my life because the argument isn’t going your way!” Kazuma sarcastically clapped, refusing to budge even when she pointed her staff in his direction.

“Just get your new girlfriend to revive you, asshole!”

“STOP THIS AT ONCE!”

The fact that neither noticed the litany of guards surrounding them probably showed how in their own heads they were. Shields were raised in a circle around the pair, clearly trying to mitigate as much potential explosion damage there could be. Though a big angry looking brunette captain woman had broken the circle pack to yell at them.

Megumin and Kazuma looked both sheepish and a little embarrassed, but their anger was only ebbing slowly from their bodies.

“We’re going back to my village,” the wizard sassily huffed, walking away one last time from Kazuma and through the guards that parted for her, “Unless you want to leave me behind again.”

Which left a single adventurer to give a long sigh in frustration. He wished he knew what to do or say to make it better, but he wasn’t smart enough to know that fact. Instead, the task of apologising to the guards fell to him, even if the captain was more interested in reliving the pleasure he’d given her last night in the gala.

--POV SHIFT: Lalatina Dustiness Ford--

After we’d let Megumin cool off for a while, it was time to head home.

The plan was to go back to the mansion without Musume to make it look like we don’t have her with us, then release the information about her “passing” at the end of the day before teleporting her to the Crimson Demon village. We would need to be there when that happens to hide her temporarily, and to warn Megumin’s village before an all out war breaks out. After that, it’s up to Jeronim to lay the trap for a potentially enraged Demon King… all while we keep his daughter entertained.

The four of us gathered around the teleportation circle. Kazuma and Megumin both crossing their arms and looking in opposite directions to each other. Between their fighting and Aqua’s clinginess, somehow I’d become the closest member of the group to the arch-wizard. It was a truly bad sign.

Iris and Jeronim waved us off, standing a little closer to her father than I’d seen her do previously. It warmed my heart that we’d been able to help just a little bit while we were here. Other than protecting the capitol from a terrorist attack I suppose.

In a flash, we left the grassy field in front of the castle behind, to be greeted with the sight of the grassy field in front of our mansion.

“Yay!” Aqua jumped up with arms pumped high, “It feels like ages since we’ve been home!”

“Remember, we’re not staying the night,” I told Aqua, “We’re just going to get some fresh clothes and check in on-”

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE MANSION?!”

Kazuma yelled that so strongly it sent a freaked out feeling to my gut. He had mentioned something about damage due to Xara and Sylvia, but I suppose I hadn’t imagined it was that bad? I rushed down the path around the brick wall expecting to see a smouldering heap of destruction.

Only to find our home in perfect condition.

“What?” I asked, frantically looking around up and down to what Kazuma was talking about, “What’s wrong? I don’t see-”

“It’s the mansion!” He yelled again, gesturing to the structure, “It’s FINE!”

“...I, what?”

“There was no mansion before! Between Xara versus Sylvia and Aqua’s water attacks during the Divane shit, the whole thing may as well have been a hole in the ground!” The desperation in his voice was confusing. “They said it would cost us so much to repair, did they fix it while we were gone?! What’s the size of the bill going to be?!” Ah, that was why.

“Hang on, didn’t it used to be… smaller?” Aqua asked, tilting her head at the house before comparing it with her thumb and forefinger in front of her eyeball.

Upon further examination, and a similar head tilt, I think she was right.

Our mansion not only looked a little nicer than when we last saw it, but it also looked like it had gained one extra floor! Our outside balcony was now accompanied by a second one just above it, as if someone had copied the first floor and replicated it perfectly atop the old one. I had no idea how someone would have managed to get this done in such a short time frame but we suddenly gained an even better house than before.

“Magic, my dears.”

Our backs turned quickly, and we were greeted by a tall and buxom raven-haired succubus looming over us alongside her olive-skinned partner.

“Xara! Sylvia!” Aqua cheered, rushing over to the pair and happily jumping into their welcoming arms. “I’m dating Kazuma and Darkness now!”

“Oh? How wonderful! Yet another maiden’s heart for your cock to smother with love, my king,” teased the succubus queen, not stopping Aqua from nuzzling into her immense cleavage as she bowed towards Kazuma. “I jest of course, you may take as many wives as you wish. It only makes my lust burn greater for you, Kazuma~”

“Good to see you too,” He smirked, grabbing her face to attack her tongue with his own. The crouching position made Aqua fall from her cleavage, but the moans she gave out showed she was more focused on her man than anyone else.

But not everyone was happy with the reunion.

“S-S-S-SYLVIA?!?!” Megumin shrieked, shaking a little in her boots. However, she quickly collected herself and angrily pointed her staff at the chimaera. “THAT’S the Sylvia you were talking about?! The one that ATTACKED my fucking VILLAGE?!”

There wasn’t much else for me to say or do except awkwardly nod. “Uhm, yes.”

“I feared this would happen when your crimson demon girl returned,” said Sylvia, cheek in hand as she loomed over Megumin’s tiny form. “I’ve had something in mind for you. I know exactly what I need to do…”

Megumin gulped at the size of her, ready to blast another hole through her stomach at the drop of a hat.

Luckily, the chimaera had no hat to drop, as instead Sylvia’s forehead hit the ground.

“I’M SO SORRY!” She yelled into the dirt, prostrating herself better than anyone I’d ever seen. “It wasn’t personal, I swear! We were enemies at the time and your kin really did piss me off, but that life ended when you killed me! I no longer mean any harm, so please don’t kick me out of the harem! I finally have my two greatest loves back in my life again! Please have mercy!”

It looked like that apology sucked all the fear and anger out of Megumin to fill her up with only confusion and embarrassment.

“I… uh… f-fine…” Was all the crimson demon could respond with, “I won’t-”

“THANK YOU!” Sylvia burst from her position to push the smaller girl into her face, dwarfing the younger woman by quite a bit but still nuzzling happily. “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyoouuu!!!”

Xara had finally finished kissing Kazuma to chuckle, “Oh dear, you do know I love it when you grovel, but have some self-respect! The girl did kill you after all.”

“Water under the bridge! I really did fear the worst,” Sylvia sighed in relief, though she wasn’t the only one who was nuzzling up with a confused Megumin. Leaping from a huge pair of chocolate breasts came a familiar black fuzzball to latch onto her favourite shoulder.

“Chomusuke?! What were you doing in there?!”

Sylvia reached over and gave a singular finger stroke under the feline’s chin. “I hadn’t expected a living piece of the past to show up in the succubus cafe, but I am happy to know that at least half of Wolbach lived on. She was a good friend…” Still kneeling, Sylvia placed a hand on Megumin’s non-cat shoulder to smile warmly at the little wizard. “Thank you so much for taking such good care of the Goddess’ violent half.”

“...eh?”

“Can we get back to the topic of the mansion? Why is it fixed up and how much is it going to cost me!?”

Xara chuckled, gently stroking the Goddess that had returned to her tightly packed cleavage. “I already told you, Kazuma: magic. Anything is possible when you have two of the strongest commanders-”

She was soon interrupted by an, “Ahem,” from an unamused Sylvia. Using her mighty wings to shrug, the succubus queen corrected herself.

“Fine, fine, darling. We did use magic for the third floor, but the bulk of the work was done by a combination of succubae, monsters, and angels. All working together under the banner of your Kazuma’s penis to make you the best home imaginable!”

“That’s right. Aren’t our minions just the cutest~?” Sylvia gushed a little, much to Megumin’s flinching confusion.

“P-penis…?”

“Amazing…” I uttered, walking closer to the house and marvelling at its new immense size. “You said you used magic on the third floor?”

“Best to just show you, dear,” said Xara, letting Aqua back down to the floor. “But before we do, let me just say that your note was received and my pet is now in her training phase back in the bottom of the cafe.”

Ah, yes, the thing I asked her to do with Divane. I’ll be interested to see how that goes in a few days.

“And secondly, she told me about what happened last night,” The queen’s face was frowning grimly, but not so dark that it made me worry. “Is it true? You encountered Musume last night?”

With a sigh, I gestured to the door. “Let’s catch up over a cup of tea. I think this will be a long chat and we don’t have a lot of time here.”