Friends of Friends Flora Sparrow and Samantha Irving

It was a sunny day without a cloud in sight. Flora was gathering samples from trees, testing to make sure they were healthy. Recently, a large section of trees needed to be cut down to prevent the spread of blight. She was disappointed that it wasn’t caught earlier. As that section of the forest was now an eyesore from the ranger’s lodge overlooking the valley. She was determined to limit the damage as much as she could. It was a fairly quiet and peaceful day, and she breathed in the fresh air. “Days like today are why I love this job,” she mused out loud to no one in particular. Well, I guess I should probably head back before it gets late. She began the 10-mile hike back to the ranger’s lodge, knowing it would take a few hours, but made sure to go back along a path that would allow her to collect more samples from trees she hadn’t inspected yet. About halfway back, she reached for her water bottle but realized it was empty, which confused her as it was definitely half-full when she took her last break. Which was when she noticed a tiny hole in the bottom of the bottle. “Shit!” Just what I need, I have another 5 miles to hike and am out of water. I guess I should probably be fine, but I am going to feel horrible when I get there. Flora shot a quick message to one of her fellow rangers about her predicament and got a reply that they would make sure to have water ready for her when she got back and to keep them posted on her condition. She continued back and began to feel woozy. Just as she was about to let the rangers know she needed help, she blacked out.

Lieutenant Samantha Irving was trying to keep tears from her eyes as she carried her father to his final rest. He, like her, was an officer of the US Navy. A demanding but caring and supportive father had left a hole in her life now that he was gone. A hole that she just couldn’t help to dwell on as she set down the casket and the preacher began to speak. She remembered he always pushed her to excel in school and extracurriculars, but never pushed her into anything, just pushed her to do well at whatever she was doing. He was delighted when she expressed interest in archery and rifle shooting, as none of his other children were interested in his main pastimes. Then, when she said that she wanted to follow in his footsteps and join the Navy, he was equal parts thrilled and terrified. She remembered when he supported her after the incident in her ROTC program and how he made sure that justice was done. Later, when she came out as bisexual, she had been terrified after all, military men aren’t known for being super open-minded, but she was surprised by his response of “I mean, I thought it was obvious, especially when you were crushing on our next-door neighbor.” She had been equal parts mortified at being called out like that and ecstatic that he had known and just accepted it as a part of her. The preacher finished speaking, not that she had heard a word he said, and they lowered the finest man she knew into the ground. She went over to her siblings and shared a silent hug.

“So… are any of you coming to the wake?” she asked, trying and failing to keep her voice from cracking.

Her brother Jason shook his head, “Sorry, Sis, I don’t think I can take listening to a bunch of stories right now. Plus, with Cindy being pregnant, she doesn’t have the energy for that either right now. I just wish dad could have met his grandchild. Anyway, we are just going to head home, but call if you need anything, okay?” He smiled a sad smile, they both hugged, and then he joined his wife and left.

“What about you?” Sam asked her sister Beth.

“Nah, you know I was never particularly comfortable with military types, and there are going to be a bunch there. I think I just need to be with some of my friends, but raise a glass to dad for me, will you?” Beth copied her brother’s sad smile, and tears ran down her face, and Sam held her for a while. “Sorry about your uniform, I just…” Beth managed to get out.

“Yeah, I get it. You know to call if you need help. I will always be there for you.”

“Yeah, I am going to get going, though. I promise I’ll call you later, okay?” With a final hug, they parted, and Beth walked to her car, leaving Sam standing by the open grave.

Looking down at the casket one last time, she weakly muttered, “Goodbye, Dad,” and she turned and walked away. Managing to make it back to the privacy of her car before she broke down and began to weep until she fell ****.

Sam suddenly found herself upright in a dimly lit room and noticed another woman who did not look to be doing well and was covered in sweat. “Are you okay?” she asked of the redheaded woman next to her.

“Uh, yea, probably, just dehydrated, I think, where are we, and why is there someone from the Army here?” Flora said as she noticed the other woman’s eyes were definitely red, like she had been crying. “And what about you? Are you okay?”

“First of all, I am in the Navy; second, I have no idea where we are. I was just at… my father’s funeral, so not really, but I’ll manage. My name is Sam, you?

“Flora. Sorry for your loss,” she said and extended her arm to shake, “I guess we should figure out where we are.”

As she said that, both felt compelled to move through the area backstage and come out as spotlights focused on them as they heard. “Alright, everyone, let's welcome our next two contestants.” As the women approached, the voice continued, “Welcome, Flora, Samantha, my name is Cassandra, I'm your host for this season.”

“Season?” Flora asked incredulously

“Ah, yes, right, I skipped that part. You are our next two contestants on the wonderful interdimensional reality show HAREM HOTEL: Missed Encounters, where you will be competing for the love and affection of your Master, Mark here, and for your eventual position in his harem. Isn’t that just so exciting?”

Sam was pissed; whatever was going on wasn’t funny, and she was already not in a good mood, so she took a step forward and punched Cassandra square in the face. “I don’t know WHAT THE FUCK you think you are doing here or how I got here, but if you expect to see tomorrow, you will tell me where the hell the exit is, as I just buried my father and I would have no problem burying you too, for this shit,” Sam yelled as she grabbed the front of Cassandra’s dress. At which point she was **** to release the woman in front of her and to stand at attention, unable to move.

“Okay…, Okay,” Cassandra said with a few deep breaths, “I am going to make an exception for attacking the Host because I understand you just experienced a traumatic loss, and then got thrown into another highly unusual situation. But I CANNOT stress this point enough, **** against the Host, Master, or another contestant, at least that isn’t consensual or at least sexy in nature, will, NOT. BE. TOLERATED.” She emphasized the last three words with jabs at Samantha's chest. I don’t want to punish any of you, but I will have ****. So now have a seat.” Cassandra waved her hand, and both Sam and Flora were flung into the next two chairs and suddenly had memories of the prior introductions. “Now, Flora, if you would start with your introduction.”

“Hi, my name is Flora Sparrow. I met Mark at college, where we shared a number of literature elective courses. During our senior year, he asked me out shortly after the winter break, but I turned him down because I thought with it being so close to graduation that it wasn’t a wise choice to begin a new relationship, though had he asked under different circumstances, I would probably have at least given him a chance. I am a forest ranger and botanist with the National Park Service. I am 32 years old, 5’0”, my measurements are 34D”-24”-32”, 120lbs, I am mostly straight, though I have found a couple of women attractive, but definitely more into men. My last sexual encounter was with my vibrating wand, but if you must know, before that, the last time I was with someone was 5 years ago, it was a short fling with someone I met on a rock climbing tour, and she was fit, so I thought, why not.” Flora finished, both embarrassed at what she said and speaking in front of so many people, which she dreaded, and why she became a forest ranger so as not to deal with people.

“Great, thank you so much, Flora, now,” Cassandra turned and glared at Sam, “onto you.”

“Hello, I am Lieutenant Samantha Irving, US Navy. I also met Mark in college and mostly knew him through mutual friends in LGBTQ+ groups. He wasn’t around much, probably due to him just being an ally. I am a Navy fighter pilot and a Lieutenant in the US Navy. I am 32 years old, 5”2’, my measurements are 32A-26-32, 130lbs. I am bisexual, while I find men attractive, I have no desire to be in a relationship with one. My last sexual encounter was with a woman I met while on leave during deployment.” With her introduction over, Sam tried to speak or move but found herself unable to, and started to feel dread come over her. Then she realized that she should be panicking and wasn't, which made it worse.

“Wonderful, thank you both so much for your introductions. Now we do need to move along, or we will never keep to the schedule. So without further ado, let's bring out our last three contestants,” Cassandra said with a flourish of her hands.