Fred and Alice read Southern edge of Northjunan, Kingdom of Elenna, by Gambio

"Alright to time tear Marcie and Gina a new one" said Fred.

"Actually, Unknown7 thought we'd be better suited to review Southern edge of Northjuana, Kingdom of Elenna, by Gambio" said Alice.

"Damn"

"Apparently, Lindsey and Susan are better suited to 'Hard Candy' once Unknown7 submits the 'Path to Justice'"

"I don't mean to be a grammar nazi but shouldn't 'edge' have a capital?"

"Everyone makes typos on here"

"Yeah, but in the title?"

"Okay, this story is a path in a story called 'I don't want to be a **** owner!'"

READING IN PROGRESS

"This story is about a princess called Elena and she's trying to reform some guy called Mauri" said Alice.

"I noticed you spelt Elenni wrong" said Fred.

"No, I spelt it right, it just suddenly changed to Elena"

"Oh, that's the autocorrect"

"Well, it wasn't correct and I can't be assed rewriting it every time it changes"

"You sure you don't want me to just type everything?"

"You included pointless details about Farsel picking her nose that we did not need to know. I'll write down my own input"

Alice signed.

"Okay, so Elenni has captured a man called Mauri who did some bad stuff to some race called the Vasgar"

"What the fuck is a Vasgar, anyway?" asked Fred, "the only description, that they have no nose, is only brought up halfway through"

"Mauri used to be a sweet boy who helped Elenni when she was a **** but for some reason decided he wanted to kill all the Vasgars"

"Honestly, I don't see how Mauri the Butcher was even the bad guy. Anyway, Elenni decides to reform him by erasing his memory and make him a sex ****. Since Mauri is now mentally 12 or 13 years old, its stated to be six years back at one point and five at another, this means that Elenni is a pedophile"

"But he's 12" said Alice.

"Yes, exactly, Elenni fucks a 12 or 13 year old, that makes her a pedophile" said Fred, "if this is how the Vasgar behave then Mauri was right to butcher them"

"But he's 12" said Alice, "he's already a man, a young man but still a man"

EXPLAINING TO ALICE THE AGE OF CONSENT ON EARTH IN PROGRESS

"Well, whether or not Elenni is a pedophile by Earth standards, she still partakes in FUCKING SLAVERY!"

"Whoa, calm down, Alice" said Fred.

"No, I will not calm down. SLAVERY IS FUCKING WRONG!" said Alice.

"You make it sound like she supports it. In mean the story is literally called 'I don't want to be a **** owner!'"

"If they don't wanna be **** owners, then they should stop owning fucking slaves" said Alice, "its a very simple solution. Also, Elenni states that a 'part of her got excited'. This story should be called 'I'm a complete monster with no redeeming qualities whatsoever and who can't masturbate unless I practice slavery'"

Fred vomited on the floor.

"Sorry, that was toe licking, way too weird for me" he said, "but why does Mauri even believe Elenni's story? How does he know the princess is not making all these crimes up? And why does Elenni wanna protect him anyway?"

"Yes, she cut off her brother's hand over this. That was a bit excessive"

"I know, right. I mean I would cut off my sister's hand but that's because she's a bitch who deserves it. I certainly wouldn't do it to protect Jormund or Sorvile. Actually, I'd rather shit down her throat but you get the point"

"I did not need to know that. Wait, toe licking is too weird but eating shit is fine?" asked Alice.

"Its a platonic shitting down the throat, a special punishment reserved for the worst of humanity. The point is that Elenni's father was right to sell her into slavery because she's a pedophile who fucks 12 year olds"

"But SLAVERY IS WRONG!"

"Another thing is that we're told Mauri and humans did bad stuff but we're never actually shown any of it. We're expected to just take the word of these Vasgar guys. In fact Elenni actually states that and I quote, 'There is not a single place in Northjunan where a Vasgar and Human couple is not persecuted'"

"These Vasgar sound like they're just as bad as the humans" said Alice, "possibly worse since we don't actually see the humans do anything wrong"

"At least Elenni seems to recognise this and elopes with Mauri at the end" said Fred.

"Except that Mauri still has to obey her so she's still practicing slavery" Alice, "I mean what kind of monster uses a curse to enslave someone?"

"Well, we're supposed to ask the masturbation question, Alice, did you masturbate?" asked Fred.

"Who the hell masturbates to slavery?!"

"I couldn't masturbate to it either though that's more to do with femdom not being my thing. I'm sure others could masturbate to this story. At least that's what I would be saying if it wasn't with a 12 or 13 year old"

"Are we gonna have a bet on people masturbating to it?"

"Unknown7 doesn't know how to add images into these chapters so we wouldn't be able to keep our end of it"

Suddenly Fred had a thought.

"This is a public story" Fred said with an evil grin.

"Oh no" Alice knew this was not good.

"Maybe I should pay a visit. All I need is for Unknown7 to contribute to Gambio's branch and I can take this world along with Arizelle"

"Actually, the whole point is supposed to be that the protagonist DOESN'T want to be a **** owner. You clearly do"

"I'll just tell Telaviv Telaviv that I'm fighting to end slavery and the whole thing is a protagonist journey to villain that will allow me to grab as many sex slaves as possible and take them to Arizelle. Plus, I wanna see if the noseless Vasgar are hot"

"This is not gonna end well" said Alice.