For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow

“Loathe as I am to trust divination, John correctly predicted fighting a kraken before an Astraean contract with me. Though he did not correctly predict the circumstances. What miniscule actions he took to avert his fate then likely paled in comparison to the magnitude of change he has set into effect with this meeting and its results,” Shelle theorized, sitting in the Star’s chair in the Major Arcana conference room atop the skyscraper. Serendipitously, Isabelle stumbled upon Judgement, in addition to the two men she had sought out. The four Major Arcana and Shelle sat in the mostly-empty conference room. The Magician put out an emergency meeting request to the others as a courtesy, but none came.

“Does she have to be here? She’s not one of us,” Isabelle asked, prompting the young mage to flip her off. Alvaro gasped beside her, and the Emperor laughed, quickly stifling it and covering his mouth.

“Though it’s been cold so far, I am officially declaring this base to be in a state of war. I’ll see to have the message disseminated in a couple hours after we prepare. That being said, Shelle has as much authority here as any of us. As the provisional Ace of Cups and Coins of this base, she deserves a spot here, especially in these times,” The Emperor replied, though his even tone indicated he did not criticize Isabelle’s intent. “She’s also been directly exposed to this entity the most, little as that may be. Lucien will be arriving shortly.”

“I finished retaking control of this barrier from Circe.” Judgement said the last word deliberately and lingered a pause afterwards just to ensure that she could say their betrayer’s name properly. “I can finish cleaning up the backend when we’re done here.”

“Good, I can assist with that if you would like, Cassandra,” Alavaro offered the empath fateweaver in an attempt to restore a bit of decorum. “We should ready the city barrier in case it attempts to flee. Thus far, it has been bound to Springfield for reasons previously beyond our understanding. Given what we have learned, it will likely come after Sirian soon.”

“If it’s figured out that it’s incomplete because of Sirian, that poor girl. Gods know what compelled it to remove itself from its initial host body,” Cassandra countered, one hand flat against her cheek while she considered the soulless woman fifty floors below.

“It knows something,” Lucien offered, boots muted by the lush carpet underfoot while he strode through the open doorway into their meeting room. He took The Chariot’s seat, one of the only chairs large enough to fit him. “It can tell it is incomplete. It believes we accomplished this somehow, which I suppose we have with the retrievement of its original host. Additionally, the High Priestess’ report is complete. Direct thought of the entity broadens its awareness of the thinker, and speaking its true name acts as a torch in the night for its broader afflictions. This is consistent with many of those who previously had no contact with the entity. Wallace and our fateweaver both have spoken its name on the record.”

“Many of us have as well, and none seem too affected by it,” The Emperor said, leaning his elbows on his armrest and steepling his fingers in a rough circle. Despite his immaculate shape, his age took its toll on him; a dull ache spread through the bones in his arms. He made a mental note to get better cushions for his chairs.

“With The Emperor’s permission, I have gone through the emotional undercurrents of our minds and found no traitorous bend. However, in recent times I sensed a weaker will and greater greed from the former Strength,” Cassandra explained, the display in the middle of the table lit up into a holographic screen that, to each observer, faced them. On it played a recording of Wallace shambling forward in Alavaro’s study and toward the prison he had escaped. The last recording of him before the entity’s corruption. “I believe we are of the disposition not to indulge in such a foul being’s deals.”

“You did not sense any treachery in Circe either,” Shelle challenged, eyes aglow as if to read the minds of those gathered herself. The Emperor stuck out a hand which assuaged her fury for the moment.

“Circe worked tirelessly for us for many years. I do not blame Judgement for placing her in high trust. Not when I made the same error in Wallace,” The Emperor admitted, stroking a hand over his short crop of a white beard, “a luxury in short supply now, but baseless accusations will get us nowhere. Judgement, I want you to lead a small evacuation effort. All non-combat staff and any fighters you deem susceptible to the entity’s influence. Magician, ensure our barriers are strong and ours alone. Strength, ready our people for the coming fight. Shelle, Lucien, with me. We are going to plan a strike on the entity’s suspected lair. With any luck, it will still be reeling from the blows we have dealt in the past months. Any objections?”

“Sir, many of the Swords here lack the supplementary skills necessary to form a cohesive, enduring front against a hivemind foe like the entity’s puppets. We should keep those healers and fateweavers most experienced here, subject to Cassandra’s approval,” Alvaro offered, rising from his seat to begin work nonetheless. He pulled a thick tablet out of a pocket space and swiped on it a few times before floating it over to his empathic colleague. “I’ve collected a list of suitable candidates. Mostly dual-suits.”

“That could slow us down too much,” Isabelle said pensively, sitting with one leg dangling and the other crooked to hold her swords “It could happen at any time.”

“We’ll bring in some reinforcements to defend the mirrors until evacuation is complete,” The Emperor said, shooing Alvaro and Cassandra to begin their work, “though what dedicated fighters we can spare at the moment are slim. I’ll have someone call in the armorer from Jarako. She’s an army unto herself.”

“I’ll take care of that, Alfonso, plan with the Swords,” Cassandra offered to her leader, quickly retreating out of the meeting room with Alvaro’s tablet in hand.

“This is crazy. You could cook this whole time?” John asked the pyromancer in disbelief, while the aforementioned brunette grabbed a steak from the oven with her bare hands and laid it down into a buttered skillet with a satisfying sizzle. Though the man had already eaten more than his fill with the food the others had brought for everyone, when the party wound down, the apparent chef offered his favorite food.

“Course, my dad taught me. He said it was important for surviving independently in the world,” Abigail said the last as if quoting the man, and John’s questions ceased after the aroma drifted past his nose. “I usually don’t do it because it takes so long. It’s so much easier not to worry about it. But I knew you’d love this. Jenny helped me get the meat imported from K66.”

“I love you,” John said, wrapping his arms around the humming cook and kissing her neck. Their third approached from the living room, breaking off from the large cluster of people playing a tournament of Supreme Horse Chicken on four different screens.

John stepped back and took the opportunity to return the favor to them from earlier, wrapping his arm around each of them before his appendages could be grabbed. “I love both of you, so much. I got some good advice recently and--I’d regret it if I didn’t take the opportunity now to tell you how much you both mean to me. I’ve got a bad feeling about today. Things are going to be tough for a while. But the three of us, together, nothing can keep us down.”

“Take a breath, Johnny,” Jenny said, wrapping him in a tight hug which the brunette on his other side eagerly joined. “Stay in the now with me. With us. Okay?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” John conceded, letting out a long breath in a sigh as he melted into his lovers’ embrace. “It’s been a great day so far.”

“And it’s only going to keep getting better! I’ll finish up here, so why don’t you start opening your gifts? Who knows how much longer everyone’s going to stay,” Abigail said, briefly washing her hands before opening a cabinet above their oven.

“You’re really going to like this.” Jenny smirked, taking John’s hand and leading him. “Life goes fast in the Abyss, that’s why you’ve gotta make days like this great. You probably saw at my party, gifts in the Abyss go hard.”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it,” John said, approaching the crowd sitting in the middle of his living room on cushions or beanbag chairs. “Some of these things are going to require explanation.” John picked up a present wrapped in the shape of two shafts coming from a harness. “In more ways than one.”

“Open mine first, I’ve gotta go,” Crossfire insisted, standing up from his beanbag chair and morphing his maroon slacks and ochre undershirt into his flexible light plate. He reached into the middle of the stack of gifts and carefully plucked a small scarlet parcel from it without toppling the tower. “It’s important. Take your time here though.”

“Sure, glad you could make it, Salvadore,” John accepted the box and brushed the paper away with a touch of Destroy to reveal a velvet box. He opened it and fire raced onto his hand, wrapping around the middle finger on his left hand and forming a shiny gold band with a thin cylindrical ruby inset and flush with the slim band.

“It’s a bit of soul run-off from the past few months, from when my armor gets seriously damaged. I collect it and reforge it. I’ve been looking for a home for this one, and you seem like a good one. Welcome to the club. I thought I might’ve needed it after my stay with Nairis, but we’re all good. Try to make it something else.” Salvadore raised his hand and his gauntlet burst into flames, receding into the same ring now on John’s hand, which John Traced.

**Stable Soul Ring
Mythic Rarity. Soul item.
Made with excess soul from the soul armor wearer Crossfire. This ring bears the same twisted spell placed on Crossfire’s whole soul, allowing it to become various pieces of his Flare Plate equipment. Grants the hand it is worn on minor fire manipulation properties.

John pictured the same crimson and gold gauntlet on the knight’s other hand atop his own, and the ring quickly conformed to his wishes. A nod and it became a dagger. He wondered for a moment if it came off, and it burned into his hand and out of sight with surprisingly pleasant warmth. “This’ll be great, thanks!”

“Happy birthday, John, use it well.” Crossfire gave a two finger salute before striding out of the room. The man’s steps picked up to a jog out of eyesight, and John chuckled under his breath.

“Me next!” Jackie insisted, blushing when half the partygoers turned to her, though the duo in the background still gaming deprived the room of true silence. “You’ve saved my life twice now, I hope to one day repay the favor.”

The technomancer took hold of her gift on the inside and floated the long rectangular package over to him confirming its technological contents. This only excited him further and he ripped open the front to reveal the Anor Industries title embossed in gold on the package. Inside sat three capsules, a cloth pad with three touch dials and three buttons, and a flat round scrap of faintly glowing wood. “The pad controls the modes of each unit, with a sticking enchantment to attach to any clothes and a wooden removal tool.”

“Right, but what are they?” John asked, picking up the first square capsule. The weight felt good in his hands, about the same as one of his guns, but lighter than the revolver he used in their stead. Each bore a small crystal blue screen on their silver frame, though the second took a more spherical shape and the last more oblong.

“Tailor made programmable bombs responsive only to you. The one you’re holding can split into up to a thousand different pieces and restrain up to two human-sized creatures. I programmed the ball to channel your creation spell into a myriad of preset gasses from obscurement to enflamement. The last explodes in several different ways, lingering, bright, destructive to name a few. Each contains two thousand MU batteries that charge from solar, ambience, and movement when worn at the waist locked onto the pad,” Jackie explained somehow all in one breath, gushing over her personal creation. She picked up the sphere and placed it on the pad in demonstration, then hugged the impressed technophile and added in a small voice, “Happy birthday.”

“I have a feeling I’m gonna wonder how I lived without them, thanks so much, Jackie.” John beamed, putting the whole ensemble together then setting it back onto the table with a Trace. If Vulcan were here, he could tell me which is my belt. They told me it’s here somewhere.

Anor Industries Smart Bombs and Control Pad
Unique rarity. Tailored. Aura Locked.
These programmable smart bombs take a myriad of forms and only respond to the touch and mana of John Newman. Learns and optimizes forms over time according to the user’s intentions. The control pad has dials for manual use and buttons for automatic functions.

“Anyone want to claim this one?” John asked, picking up the wrapped and boxless dual strap-on and holding it up into the air. It felt far too heavy to be an actual sex toy, so the Gamer took his chances and tore it open. To his pleasant surprise, a revolver fell out of each shaft onto his lap and the harness was actually his newly modified gun belt. John Traced each in turn. I can imagine his face wrapping these.

Gamer’s Belt
Unique rarity. Champion item. Soulbound. 1 of 3 from Vulcan’s Set.
A brown leather gun belt gifted to the Gamer by a traveling god and reforged by the Artisan Champion Vulcan. While worn by The Gamer it confers a myriad of boons. The same spell successively cast costs half the mana each time. Physical stats are effectively doubled. When used in conjunction with Treble and Base, allows the user to add any damage type to bullets fired.

Treble and Base
Mythic rarity. Paired items. Soulbound. 2 and 3 of 3 from Vulcan’s Set.
Twin pistols bought by The Gamer off the Abyss Auction and reforged by the Artisan Champion Vulcan. Draws on the Gamer’s power to fire more powerful shots in a variety of ways, from greater piercing to mana explosions. While both guns are equipped, each channels spells with a mana efficiency of 2.0, effectively doubling the power or halving the cost of spells cast with these items as a focus. When all three items are equipped as a set, mana efficiency increases to 3.0. This item has unawakened potential and will develop as the user does.

“This is a big upgrade from someone who couldn’t be here,” John explained to the crowd, some of whom became distracted by the Wyvern Orb CombatantX game still going on behind them. “Who’s next?”

“If nobody’s going to,” Phoebe piped up, setting the controller down now that her game was finished and approaching him. “Before I made bikes for the Valvians at large, I pioneered the art of Valvian clockwork life.”

Perhaps activated by her words, a box at the back of the table rattled, and John lifted it away from the others. “Josephine enchanted it so that your hawk could wear it and still disappear. We both went a bit out of our comfort zones.” A tiny, segmented silver snake burst from the package far too large for it. It wrapped around his wrist and vibrated as if purring before crawling up his shoulder to the idle hawk, which cocked its head before lowering its neck for its new friend to wrap around. “It’ll help keep him safe.”

“I think he appreciates it as much as I do.” John laughed, craning his head to witness his hawk preening the feathers around his new necklace and preening his new appearance with some confident wing-shifting about atop John’s shoulder.

“Speaking of David, you may want to open mine next,” Amy said, pointing to an airy but opaque gauzy bag at the foot of the white-top plastic table. John Moved it into his hands and pulled the bag open to reveal a small hemispherical incubating unit with an aurora-streaked egg inside. “David and Vitaly made a clutch of four eggs. Phoenixes typically don’t care for their young, but Red-Tailed Hawks do. This is a pretty unique situation and I’m not sure how these chicks are going to grow, but I can make it pretty easy for you to look after that one. That incubator does all the work til it hatches.”

“Do you recognize it, David?” John asked his feathery companion, grabbing the incubator with both hands and holding it up closer to the hawk’s view. The parent let out a soft chwirk, leaning down from John’s shoulder with one inquisitive eye. He set the incubator on the floor which the hawk quickly followed, and took a seat in a nearby folding chair. “Can’t wait to see what this becomes.”

“Mine’s the other bag,” Grace offered, walking up to John from behind and hugging him around the neck. “It’s one of a kind for now. Hopefully the first of many. Thanks for everything. Happy Birthday.”

John reached into the otherwise nondescript white bag and closed his hands around a small, smooth stone. He pulled it out to study. “A small black pebble on a thin mithril chain?”

“No, you twit.” Grace laughed, reaching over his shoulder and turning the small stone over in his hand to finally reveal a dull red ‘A’ emblazoned onto the stone in the same style of anarchy symbol tattooed on Grace’s collar.

“Takes my stickers beyond being glorified scrolls for anyone other than me. Independent activation from sticking. I included some of your favorites below all the wrapping.” The Brit reached through the crinkly paper in the bag and pulled two stacks of ten stickers each, the first a chameleon half-shifted onto a forest background and the second a cartoonish red boxing glove with a spiky impact circle on the end. “The boxing glove was a solid idea, but it took me a lot of mana. Turned into a knockout sticker. Only dazed a dragon that Shelle tested it out on, though.”

“These’ll be great, thanks! Isn’t this what you’ve been working on all year? This makes you a Ten of Wands now! Congratulations!” John saidd, arching a brow at his blushing heterochromatic student.

“Wasn’t about to make a big deal about it at your party, but yeah, I got promoted,” Grace replied, a proud grin creeping across her face, and she half turned her hips to the crowd, oversized jean jacket swinging. “If it all works out, the stones n’ stickers will hit the shelves sometime this week. Chain not included.”

“Mine’ll go great with that,” Elizabeth said, meekly standing up from a beanbag chair and stumbling over to John. She plucked a small black rectangle, unwrapped unlike the others, and pried open the cardboard to reveal a wiry black bracelet with a faintly glowing yellow pod adorning it. “I made something that lets people pull mana from batteries in the same way I do without being me. That holds fifty-thousand MU.”

“That’ll be handy!” John said, slipping the bracelet on and glad the electromancer attended despite her snooping. He pulled her into a half-hug with one arm and released her, appraising the comfortable wristwear and turning his arm over.

After a few more gifts from friends of friends including a pen that never ran out of ink and an infinitely regenerating pizza slice that came with a greasy-on-the-inside cloth case, John had one left on the table though both Mandruzzo’s and Jenny’s were yet to come up.

“This last one is mine,” Mandruzzo claimed, sticking his hand into the air and approaching the table from John’s kitchen. “In our last contract together, my lucky headband burned but you saved me from the flames themselves. I took the scraps and made an armband for you.”

John tied the band into place, admiring the bold blues and purples of his new adornment. Though it held no actual enchantment, it seemed due to the circumstances of its gifting the Game gifted it with the quality of ‘Sentimental’, granting John resistances to mood-based debuffs. “I’ll treasure it, dude. Any time.”

“My present wasn’t the party by the way,” Jenny explained, sidling up to the sitting Gamer, “I know the completionist in you was always disappointed you could never beat that concert barrier. With some help from people in the Inferno and people from the Rider-Waites, I tracked it down and a fateweaver supplanted a show here into it,” Jenny explained, taking John’s hand. “You can find out what’s at the end of it. And save the people you couldn’t.”

“That’s perfect!” John jumped out of his chair. “Where is it?”

“It should be in the downtown area tonight. Not quite here yet. Happy birthday, Johnny.” Jenny leaned in to make out with him, eliciting a few whoops and hollers from the crowd.

Abigail walked over to him with another steak, and John clapped his hands, feeling like a king. “Well, why did the gaming stop?”