Find a quiet place in the library to read the book

You move to an area just out of vision of the help desk. Hopefully no one will bother you here. You pull out the book and inspect it more closely. The nude woman on the cover seems to be knowingly enticing you to open the book. You oblige.

The book is heavy and smells like old paper. You open to the first page.

In what looks like black ink, you read the following:

The assistant librarian will have public sex with anyone who asks politely, and everyone nearby will think this is normal and forget about it minutes later.

You shiver when you realize this is exactly what has been going on at the help desk. This book has some kind of supernatural power over shaping reality. Whoever wrote this was clearly a kinky fellow.

Below that, you read another section, this time the ink looks red:

The student body is 90% female and attractive, but the internet only works 10% of the time.

You pause and think about it. That tracks with what you've seen, there are hotties everywhere. Although you haven't tried using the internet.

All of a sudden you hear a loud, male voice yelling near the help desk: “Where is it!?”

You close the book quickly and put it back into your pack. You look around for an avenue of escape and quickly spot a strange goblinesque creature staring down at you from high above on a bookshelf. You jump as it speaks directly to you.

“Listen,” he says, smiling at you. “I can help you out of this sticky situation. That voice you're hearing now... that's someone who's looking for what you have." His strange yellow eyes look you over with barely concealed glee. “Wait for me over there,” he instructs, pointing near a secluded area in the library, “And I’ll let you in on the secret!”

Without waiting for a reply, he hops down and heads toward the yelling near the help desk. On his way over, he passes a girl reaching for a book off the top shelf. In one motion, he grabs her pleated skirt and pulls it down to her thighs, and with his free hand wipes his hand over her ass. She’s wearing ruby lace thong panties — and for a split second, she doesn’t even notice that anything has happened. Then a few seconds later, she looks down, embarrassed as the book falls from her hand.

You pretend not to notice what you’ve just seen and turn to head toward where the goblin creature told you to go. On your way there, you suddenly have an idea: Why not ditch the weird creature and take it back to your dorm room and investigate on your own? On the other hand, the creature may have valuable insight and while it doesn’t seem overtly hostile to you at the moment, you don’t exactly trust it.