Feeling Low

You walk from Chloe's building feeling simply awful. You had bungled that badly. You had expected her to be upset but the tears and that look of deep hurt and betrayal...oh god. Poor Chloe. You wished life had a rewind button. You would approach that much more delicately and in a more private space. You were glad you told her. You truly believed this was good for the family. That part wasn't what brought you down, simply your careless approach.

Sex was Chloe's favorite thing in the world. And she adored her family, the only people she really felt like she could just be her kooky self around. Of course this was going to hit her like a ton of bricks!

"Damn." You mutter.

Just out in front of Chloe's building there were some benches beside a row of bike racks. You walk over and sit down. You watch the busy people walk by and reflect on what you could have done differently. It is not long before you see your cousin rush out the front door herself. She was moving fast and distraught so she didn't see you sitting there. Wiping tears from her eyes she hurries through bustling people back in the direction of her home.

It broke your fuckin heart knowing you had caused that. You wanted to go after her but you were the last person she wanted to see right now.

You let out an unhappy sigh. "Damn." You say again. "Damn, damn, damn."

As you sit and think about it something Chloe had said had stuck in your mind. "Why are you taking my family away from me?"

You think, you think, and you think some more. Finally you pull out your phone. You dial up your little sister.

Ring...ring...

"Hello?" You hear Elsie's voice.

"Hey El, whatcha doin?"

"Oh, Master is just driving me to school."

"Master? More like chauffeur!" You hear Fiona playfully gripe in the background.

"Shush." El chuckles. "What's up Jesse?"

"I had a question." You say. "When was the last time you visited Chloe where you guys didn't do anything, ya know, sexual? Not counting when I was around and you guys had to keep your secret."

"Oh. Uhhhhhh....hmmm..." Just that pause told you that what you suspected was true. She finally answers. "I dunno, Christmas I guess."

"I was around for Christmas."

"Oh yeah. I'm not sure honestly." She replies. "She always wants to have it. She'll sneak it in anytime. Why do you ask?"

"And Fiona? Same for Fiona?"

You hear Elsie ask her sister. Their muffled voices go back and forth a few times. She returns. "Fiona's not sure either. She said they would usually do something. Pretty much every time."

"Huh, so every time Chloe gets to see her extended family you guys end up doing something together. I'm willing to bet the same goes for Mom. I'm sure it's different with Aunt Peg but she's her mother. Hmm."

Chloe was isolated from the rest of you living here downtown. Because of her poor eyesight she didn't like to drive and the rest of you rarely took the time to make the trip. You yourself only visited her on the rare occasion, more often than not you'd just bump into her when she was with one of the others or at family gatherings. You think about how genuinely excited she had been to see you on the sidewalk that short time ago. How proudly she had shown you off to her coworkers.

Now you learn that every time your mother and sisters would visit her they would end up doing something sexual together. Chloe must have understandably, consciously or unconsciously, began to equate family with sex and vice versa. She even called her current boyfriend "Daddy" for fuck sake. If you were taking sex away from Chloe to her mind you were also taking her family! They were all a part of the same package.

"It didn't go well, did it?" Elsie asks.

"No, it hit her pretty bad. And I just blindsided her with it."

Elsie is quiet a moment. "We all should have been there. We should have told her together. Don't be too hard on yourself."

You appreciated the kind words but this was all you. You could have waited but you were determined to do it today. "Thanks El. I gotta go."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too." You hang up.

You pocket your phone and sit there a bit longer. Eventually you get. You had classes to get to. You start toward where you parked your car. Knowing you would get to see Casey today lightened your mood some, but your experience with your cousin continued to gnaw at you.