Faith-in-Joyce's bad day gets worse

For a moment, Faith-in-Joyce thought she was in real trouble.

Then she kept looking at Kathryn and Sebastian until she realized something.

And then she laughed.

"Why are you laughing, lady?" asked Kathryn. "My step-brother is getting ready to punch you out."

"No, he isn't, Wendy," said Faith-in-Joyce. "Casper here -- " pointing to Sebastian " -- might think he's tough but most of the guys I've fought before -- including the ones who weren't vamps -- would eat him for breakfast."

"Wendy?" asked Kathryn. "But my name is --"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," said Faith-in-Joyce. "You said your name was Kathryn but to me, you're just Wendy the Bad Little Witch. And Sebastian is just Casper the Unfriendly Ghost. Like in the cartoon. Or the comic book. Actually a more fitting description of you two would be that you're both just pussies."

"Pussies?" asked Sebastian the ghost.

"Sure," said Faith-in-Joyce. "Let's face it. You can't afford to start a fight with me. Why? Because I'd kick your ass. And why are you trying to intimidate me when you could be doing what most rich folk like you would do in a situation like this and calling the cops? Because Kathryn here can't afford to call the cops. Not with all that white powder up her nose. No, you two preppies are here in Sunnydale because you're slumming and like most rich folk who go slumming, you got into trouble. If it had not been me, it would have been somebody else. So thanks for the laughs, guys, but I really gotta get going. I have things to do and I already wasted enough time on you two as it is."

"Wait a minute!" cried Kathryn. "If you thought I was such an easy target, why didn't you identify yourself before you attacked me?"

"I told you before," said Faith-in-Joyce. "I thought you were someone else. Some blonde girl. She thinks she's a vampire slayer."

"And what exactly do you have against vampire slayers?" asked a voice from behind.

Faith-in-Joyce turned and saw a tall black man dressed in a black leather outfit standing up at one of the tables that was behind her.

"I don't have anything against vampire slayers," said Faith-in-Joyce. "But this particular girl -- she once stabbed m -- my daughter. And then she killed someone very close to me."

"That's too bad," said the black man. "Who is exactly this blonde girl you were talking about?"

"You wouldn't know her," said Faith-in-Joyce. "Like I said, she thought she was a vampire slayer."

The black man smiled but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "I once worked with a blonde lady who thought she was a vampire slayer too. She saved my life quite a few times. And I saved hers. Then the biggest vamp of all time killed her and then turned her and then finally a Canadian acquaintance had to put her out of her misery."

"You mean...?" asked Faith-in-Joyce.

"Yes, she's dead," said the black man. "And it was a vamp who killed her. And here you are, a middle-aged lady who moves like a young girl. Kinda the same way a vamp would do."

"Oh, no," said Faith-in-Joyce. "You got the wrong idea. I'm no vamp. In fact, I hate vamps. In fact, I've killed vamps. In fact, I used to be a vampire slayer myself."

At this point, Sebastian, Kathryn and the black man started laughing.

"No, seriously, I was a vampire slayer," said Faith-in-Joyce. "Ever heard of Faith Lehane?"

"Who?" asked the black man.

"Hey, I didn't go and make fun of your friend -- er -- what's her name?" asked Faith-in-Joyce.

"Her name was Rachel," said the black man. "Rachel Van Helsing. She was the granddaughter of Abraham Van Helsing, one of the most famous vampire slayers of all time."

"Oh, not this again!" exclaimed Faith-in-Joyce. "First B, now Rachel. I suppose you consider yourself to be famous too. Who are you, anyway?"

The black man smiled again but this time his smile was even colder than before.

"My friends call me Eric," said the black man. "But you are not my friend so you can call me what my enemies call me -- " and at this point the man reached under his black coat and pulled out a long sharp sword " -- Blade."