Failed self reflection and home from the doctors.

Jordan went into the bathroom and stood in front of the sink touching up his makeup. Putting the cap on the lipstick he saw the beautiful image of Jodie smiling. He saw a red headed woman wearing a black sleeveless dress that stopped just above her knees. His eyes lingered on her large chest, the red necklace she wore helped draw his eyes to the bosom. The necklace matched her red disk like earrings and the five inch pointed toe stiletto heels. A few weeks ago if he saw this woman he would be sure she was the type that enjoyed attention, but knowing that the gorgeous creature was him sent a shiver down his spine as something the doctor said echoed about telling Tiff she was transgender. A brief question popped in his mind as he stared at himself still holding the capped lipstick. Was he really transgender, did he want to be a woman. The thought stalled the rest of his brain momentarily as if he inputted a large quarry into SQL and was waiting on the results. He had been having sex regularly, a lot more regularly than he ever had in life lately, but it was with men. The thought of a stiff penis flashed in his mind causing multiple feelings and thoughts at once. His stomach gurgled reminding him about lunch, a horrible side effect of Adam’s cum being his meal almost every day, the next was revulsion. Knowing he didn’t want another man’s reproductive organ near him and yet the last thought was of yearning and a reminder of the person waiting for him outside in the truck.

The sexual encounters hadn’t been what he wanted, but at the same time they felt good.. Great even. Objectively he could admit both Adam and Eric were good looking men, but Eric was his friend, his best friend. The only person who had really been there for him all these years and he somehow got himself trapped looking and acting not just like a woman, but an air headed bimbo and drew his best friend into it making him the boyfriend. Eric went along with it and stopped himself from getting a real girlfriend. That was why he helped his friend with his sexual frustration, wasn’t it? He knew he wasn’t gay, he didn’t think of men like that, but lately he had been feeling safe, content and desire for Eric. The same feelings he honestly still had for Janet. The thoughts on the matter were all jumbled together, and he did think he was in love with Eric but that was okay. He was Jodie for now and woman can feel that way towards a man, once he got these breasts removed this job would be a thing of the past. The love for Eric would just move back to the way things were before, all this woman crap was just having its toll. The thought of removing the breasts bubbled another thought to the surface.

How did he get signed up for the surgery to begin with? The first appointment with the doctor he went with Tiffany, he thought the surgery was going to be for her, but obviously it wasn’t. Then it was Janet who took him to the procedure and Adam ended up paying for them. It didn’t make any sense, Tiffany didn’t know he was a guy and didn’t have any real breasts, and Janet wanted him out of this job. Sure she pushed him to be more and more girly to make herself safe, but she wouldn’t do this to him. Then there was Adam, he sure as hell was the type to buy his secretary large breasts, but he wasn’t devious to go behind the scenes. If he wanted his secretary to get surgery he would just be upfront about it, like he was with how he had to dress for work. Was it a mixture of all this or something else? Thinking about the DD breasts reminded him of the still present pain and how he was overdue for another pill, especially after having the doctor touch them in the check up. All of this was giving him a headache, or maybe being hungry was doing that. A chirp from his phone in the little purse brought Jordan out of his head and back into the world where he was now Jodie. Opening it up he saw a message from Eric.

Eric: Just checking in on you, hope you are okay.

Jodie: Like omw :)

Eric was a good man, today was his birthday and he deserved Jodie to do everything she could to make it better. Jodie was positive he wasn’t transgender, but living the life of a woman it was easier to think of himself as a her to at least keep the anxiety down. Looking back in the large mirror in the women's bathroom at Mega Corp seeing the beautiful woman again. For now he would be the woman Eric and this company needed him to be, and he… she would sort this all out later, it was just too much. With that Jodie put her lipstick back in her purse, pushing the trouble thoughts to the side promising to deal with them later, a bad habit Jordan has always had. Then left the bathroom to meet back up with her boyfriend or pretend boyfriend or whatever they were, hearing the click of her heels on the tile floor and the still unfamiliar sway and jiggle of her large breasts.

When Jodie caught the sight of the truck she saw Eric standing next to it with the passenger door already open. The sight of him brought a smile to Jodie’s red lips and her pace quickened, the five inch heels not causing any trouble after all the practice with the six inch ones. When Jodie came close Eric wrapped one muscly arm around her, while the other held the door open and proceeded to give her a lingering kiss. When he pulled back he gave Jodie a boyish smile. “Guess it went okay seeing that smile.” biting her lower lip Jodie looked to the ground briefly. Deciding right then to not mention the surgery at all, so that he wouldn’t have a chance to bring up how they talked about getting them removed not long ago. Today was about him and being happy, strife was the last thing he needed. “A day like today, with a man like you. How can things like not be okay?” Nothing about the statement was a lie, just not the full truth. Eric loved how demure Jodie looked when she bit her lip and looked to the ground, and could feel his own cheeks heat up a little with a blush when she said things like that. “I feel the same way.” Eric said as he reached out and gave Jodie’s hand a little squeeze.

When they got in the car Eric started the engine and gave Jodie another quick smile before starting back toward their apartment building. “I’m going to drop you off out front and head back to work. I planned to take the rest of the day off, but honestly I don’t know how some of these full grown men are fully functional adults with how much oversight they need at the job.” Jodie thought back to working on one of Eric’s job sites and how the type of work didn’t exactly draw the cream of the crop, some people would show up to the job site drunk or high, or just not show up at all, but even so they all worked their ass off, or at least did for Eric. “How many fully functional adults do you really know in your life when you really think about it?” Jodie said raising an eyebrow. “Hmm” Eric made the sound as he gave a quick glance to the passenger on the bench seat of his truck. “Besides myself, not many.” Jodie was sure he didn’t mean that as a jab at her, but it was more true than she would have liked, though Jodie wasn’t going to just let it fully slide either. “Subtract one more from that sentence, Mr no work and life balance, and wasn’t it me who had to show you to loosen up and show a little more emotion? Though you are working on your issues more than most, so in time you can be fully functional.” Jodie smirked when Eric gave her a sideways glance. When they pulled up out front Eric leaned over and gave Jodie a quick kiss. “Good thing I have you then to balance me out.” The statement brought a wave of happiness, but was short lived as Jodie got out of the car and watched Eric drive away. The feeling was replaced by a pang of guilt and sorrow. Knowing this wasn’t going to last with Jodie only being a round for a short amount of time. Firming the resolve within Jodie was determined to show how much she appreciated Eric and could maybe on the lookout for someone to set him up with when this all came close to the end. As Jodie she could be a lot better wing woman than wing man Jordan was, but that was for later. Turning to look at the apartment building Jodie headed inside to find something to snack on and prepare her boyfriends gift.

Opening the door to the apartment Jodie stopped only two steps inside the entrance hallway seeing Lauren sitting at a kitchen table that wasn’t there when Jodie left with Eric not long ago. “Jodie, come take a look at what I got us!” Lauren called out and beckoned the redheaded girl deeper into the apartment. Stepping past the small still dirty kitchen from Jodie’s earlier trials Jodie looked at the new apartments furniture. Laruen stood up motioning to the table before her. It was a large dark wood farmhouse style table with leather upholstered wooden chairs at the head and foot of the table, while on each side were similar style leather cushioned backless bench seats. “Let me show you this.” Lauren said as she pulled one of the bench seats open showing a not very deep storage compartment. “We have almost no storage space in the apartment, so I thought this would give us a place for linens or something! Oh and did you see what I got here?” When she stepped away from the table Jodie saw Lauren was wearing a pair of her four inch strappy heels with her tight jeans. Watching her step towards the living room Jodie noticed for the first time the different furniture for the first time. The old couch was gone, replaced with a new leather one, with end tables on either side with lamps and the tv was now mounted on the wall with a new entertainment center below. “Lauren what… why did you, ahh how?”

Laruen was all smiles as she took Jodie’s hand and led her over to the couch and sat down crossing her legs at the thigh. She leaned back on the new couch and gave a big toothy grin. “This place needed a new look, and furniture stores are always willing to bill you monthly instead of all up front. Besides I wanted to make sure my roommates aren’t breaking furniture all the time, so I got something sturdy.” Jodie was going to interject about roommates, Laruen was only supposed to be here while she got on her feet, but when she hinted at the now broken table that was gone, Jodie blushed and broke eye contact looking away from embarrassment. Lauren laughed at seeing her friend embarrassed and then noticed where she thought Jodie was looking. A glance down at her own feet to her wearing Jodie’s heels. “I’m still not sure how you wear those six inch heels at work, but I figured I will be a professional working woman like you.. I should get more used to wearing something I can actually walk in. Jodie looked back to Lauren not sure what she was talking about and it reflected in the expression on her face. Lauren quickly filled Jodie in, not wanting her to feel bad about not picking up the context clues. “You my dear future sister are sitting next to Mega Corps newest hire to the desktop support.” The look of confusing still remained on Jodie’s face, not because Jodie didn’t follow along, but from the phrase future sister, and how that was the job Jordan wanted and now Lauren with no experience in the field had it. “They offered me the job today, and said if I sign an exclusivity clause and non compete they are willing to invest in my education from day one. I will still be on the lower end of the pay for the department, but they also put it in writing that I will get a raise for each certification I can get in my first two years. I was really worried they were hiring me just because I was a woman, but after talking with Tiffany I would have taken it anyhow. But Jodie they are really investing in me!”

It wasn’t lost on Lauren that Jodie was slow on the uptake, but she kept going forward rambling on about how happy and excited she was about a job. She could never have imagined being excited about working, and wondered if this feeling is why Eric was such a dedicated workaholic. Laruen was first planning to give the good news to add to the celebration tonight with her brother, but just couldn’t help but gush about it and once that dam was broken she kept going. “So I was talking to my mom and was completely worried she would be upset that I would be moving away from her to stay in the city, but she was completely completely happy for me and proud that Eric was part of my support network, while he came out here knowing no one at all. She said she is going to sell my car, well her second car that I use so I can have money to put down on a new car. I told her people don’t need a car in a city like this, but she wouldn’t listen. So I was thinking that maybe when I go you could ask your friend Janet to come with me. Eric is good with his finances and a big guy, but that girl is fierce, and works already in finance. Do you think you could ask her for me? I really liked her when we went out the other night.”

All this information was just unbelievable, Lauren was so excited and happy and no way could Jodie ruin that mood now, but later Eric was going to need to have a conversation with her about this nesting tand taking over his space, that Jodie would need back. “Umm like sure, Janet could totally help you I’m sure. I will talk with her later about it, but like later when you know how much you have to work with.” Jodie was hoping that would give enough time for Eric to speak to her and she could use that money as a deposit on her own place. “That is good thinking!” Laruen said leaning over and giving Jodie a hug, wanting to encourage her and thank her for being willing to help, even if she wasn’t able to do it directly. “Now tell me, what is Chef Jodie making tonight for dinner?” Glancing back at the kitchen, Jodie couldn’t see the mess from this angle. “Steak and loaded mashed potatoes, but I burned what he had earlier practicing. So I like need to go to the store to get more groceries.” Lauren jumped to her feet still full of excitement and pep. “Awesome, lets go now. We can pick up some vegetables so my brother gets something healthy tonight, oh and some lettuce we can have a steak salad tonight. That way you get to stick closer to your diet and still indulge tonight!” Biting her lower lip Jodie got to her feet feeling like she was being pushed more into the role that was set, Jodie was really looking forward to eating the steak, but was also worried it would end up a charred mess again. “Sure, and maybe we could get some frozen pizzas just in case..” Jodie’s voice trailed off as she looked to the kitchen and the mess that she could now see.