Explain that you're not a baby

“I think there’s been some confusion.” You start. “I’m not a baby. I’m a test pilot who has come here from over three thousand years ago sure to a malfunction in an experimental drive.”

“You have quite the imagination Robert.” She smiles at you. “But maybe I can get you dressed before we tell stories.” She holds up a pale blue footed sleeper with a big yellow duck printed on the chest.

With a sigh, you allow her to put it on you. It’s juvenile but at least it covers your diaper.

“Now.” She holds up an enormous baby bottle. “Are you hungry?”

You shake your head. “No. Thank you.” You are thirsty and hungry but not enough to drink from a baby bottle. Especially not while you’re trying to convince this woman you’re an adult.

Next, she sets up a small playpen. “I’ve got to t=do some paperwork.” She explains, placing you into the cage with some toys. “I’ll leave the bottle here with you in case you change your mind.” She sits down behind her desk and pulls a sheet of paper out of one of the trays on her desk. “Peter told me you tried running away.” She looks up from her work. “Don’t think about trying to get out of that playpen unless you want another spanking.”

Your bottom still throbbing, you decide against any more escape attempts for now. Wondering how long you’ll be stuck here you look at the toys. You’d like something to do to pass the time but you don’t want to do anything to reinforce the infantile status you’ve apparently been assigned.

Some time later, Amanda returns. “There’s no sign of Robert’s parents.” she explains. “We can’t even find any record of him.”

“That’s because I’m not from this time.” You insist.

“Maybe he’s from one of the space colonies. Some of the more isolationist ones don’t like sharing records with us.” Rebecca suggests. “Maybe the thing you found him in was some sort of escape pod.”

“If that’s the case then there’s no chance of getting him back to his parents.” Amanda sighs. “He’s going to have to go to the orphanage.”

“Not necessarily.” Rebecca says. “I have a friend who is **** for a baby of her own. I’m sure she’d adopt him.”

Phone-calls are made and legal documents are prepared, all while you wait in your playpen. Eventually, a woman enters Rebecca’s office.

“Hello Samantha.” Rebecca stands to greet her friend. “Thank you for coming in so quickly.”

“Is this him?” Samantha asks.

“Yes. This is Robert.” Rebecca says. “I just need you to sign a few things and he will officially be your baby.”

“Hello Robert.” Samantha crouches next to your playpen and smiles at you. “I’m your new mommy.”