Exit: Arma the Raunchy Goblin Bard

[AN: Going back to roots a bit...]

Arma's Perspective

I've made the acquaintance of a peculiar young man and asked about his sudden arrival into the castle's halls, but... He seems quite confused: Was it not his magic which brought him here? It must not have been. I hope-- oh! The device in his lap buzzes, like an angry bee. Is it responsible? He brings it up to his chest in a hurry and----

the world erupts in a kaleidoscope of color and magic, leaving me---

---to lick... my lips? There's a moment of dizziness as my eyes cross and I shake my head, sending my braids and ears aflop. Heh. Maybe that ale was stronger than I thought? Nah... Couldn't be! What kind of ale could be strong enough to make me feel weird about checking out a prime fuck like the big manly-man in front of me? If it exists, it's probably made by those prissy bitch-ass elves. Bunch of cuckbait denial fetishists that they are, I could see them brewing up something so banal as **** that puts you out of the mood.

Anyway! I size up the studly human looming over me in the bar. My, but the summoned-hero is quite the man. Like, not just a piece of prime-cut man-meat: he's the entire stud. Stockier than a dwarf without the stuntiness, the guy stands head-shoulders above most human women, let alone a "helpless" little goblin like myself. Oh I was already looking forward to this~

"Well heeeey~ handsome," I drawled, expertly pretending to be far more drunk than I really am as I idly tuck some hair behind my ears and play coy. Subtly, I pitch my voice just so and speak with the barest of cadences, prompting magic to weight lightly... seductively... throughout my words. "What're you doing here?"

"Shut up," To my surprise, while the man is clearly harder than a knife... he just snorts dismissively as he stows his little magic device in a pocket. Oh boy~! He's not going to fold like dough. I would have been so disappointed if he had. "You know why I'm here: you want me." He says, tapping his hand against his pocket and jutting chin up and towards the stairs leading to the tavern's adjoining beds. How refreshingly direct! Most humans have to get talked into laying a goblin, regardless of how big her tits or fuckable her hips.

I can't help it. I giggle luridly, without even needing to act up to produce the glee. "Oh do I~? When did-" My game is interrupted as the kingdom's hero rolls his eyes and then, without a word, hoists me up over his shoulder. The surprise of it leaves me taken aback before I squeal with delight and faux-outrage, kicking and flailing helplessly against his iron grip.

"Oh help, oh help~ I think he may ravish me~!" I call out facetiously, prompting the various tavern goers wise to my doings to roll their eyes and settle down their newblood compatriots. Party-poopers: I was hoping to get some fool to gallantly introduce his face to Mr. Hero's fist.

"Just for that, you pay for the room." Mr. Hero chides, unphased by my wiliness as he rounds the corner of the staircase and passes into the hallway. Has he not even paid the staff yet? My, what a troublemaker. And he's going to make me pay for the ride he's giving me?

"Oh dear, you're going to make me pay too? How ungentile of you." I tease, excited at how dominant and brusque our Hero was turning out to be. Why, he was everything I'd dreamed of in a good, proper stud!

"Feh, I bet you could stay free of charge if you wanted." Mr. Hero claims, not entirely-incorrectly, as he passed from door to door before heading up into the attic room. It was quite unpopular and rarely-tended, so it was sure to be empty. "You probably rake these morons dry." He comments as he casually clambers up the hatch.

"But why would I do that?" I banter back playfully, "There are so many beds with full-time owners to share. Don't you think I've got better things to do than sing for a bar of fuckless saps for free access to sappy fucks? I~" pause dramatically, "have taste."

"Yes yes, you're quite the little princess." Mr. Hero says wryly, his grin widening with a joke I can't discern. "...for a goblin. Anyway-" Abruptly, I'm tossed lightly into some cushions in the corner. By the time I roll back over, rubbing my mildly sore ass from where one cushion didn't quite cushion it, Mr. Hero's pants are dropping to the ground and... great lengthy greatsword oh my~ "-I'm going to fuck you now. Try not to break."

Without further ado, he pins me down and thrusts beneath my little 'skirt,' correctly deducing my lack of--ofof--- oh my~~ godd-ess~! Uncharacteristically, as his girthy rod slides into my well-prepared passage and just barely fits... I can only squeak. Like a mouse. Squeak, squeak, and squeal too. I might actually have to stop fucking around for a bit after this... because I really doubt any clerics are going to want to mend the kinds of aches I'm going to have tomorr---ooh!

It's absolutely worth it though, even if he gets me pregnant. I was on the fence, but I'm definitely joining the Hero's party. Even if Armelia's full of flowery bitch-ass 'white-knights,' thi-eeeeeh-s is definitely worth it!