Erotica: Rise of the Sex Gods

“Hey, sport.”

“Don't call me that.” Duncan didn't even look up from his computer as he responded to Paul.

“Sorry. Anyway, me and your mother were just about to head out, and-”

“Yeah, yeah, I can feed myself.”

“I know that. It's just, I got you something.”

Duncan still didn't look at his mother's boyfriend.

“I know you play all those card games with your friends, so yesterday I went down to a games store and I bought you a gift. It's on the coffee table upstairs.”

Duncan was silent.

“I know you're not a fan of me, but I hope that one day we can get along. See you later, Duncan.”

Paul went back upstairs.

After half an hour of gaming, Duncan heard the doorbell and finally got up from his chair. Heading upstairs, he opened the door to his three best- and only- friends.

“Hey, guys.”

“Hey, Duncan,” Mark said. “Got your deck ready?”

“Well, it's still a print deck, but I've been tracking down some of the cards online.”

“For how much?” Jamie asked.

“Ehh….”

“Probably way too much,” Phoebe said. “Hey, what's that?”

Looking past Duncan, Phoebe pointed at a black box on the coffee table.

“Just some shit Paul bought. No idea what's in it, but he said he got it from the games store.”

“I've never seen anything like that at the J.” Mark worked at the only local games store in the area, the Junction. It was part of why he had access to some of the best cards.

“Then maybe he got it from out of town or something. Are we playing Arcanum or not?”

“That's what we're here for,” Mark said, walking inside and sitting down at the dining room table. “I made up a new mill deck last week.”

Phoebe groaned. “Really? Do you hate the concept of other people having fun?”

“It's a valid archetype!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

As everyone sat at the table and got their decks out, Jamie’s face fell.

As he quickly looked through his pockets, he swore. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

“What is it?”

“My deck isn't in my pockets. My little brother probably took it."

A groan went up around the table.

“Well, now what?” Duncan asked.

“We could always try that game your dad bought,” Phoebe said.

“He is not my dad,” Duncan said.

“And that way, we don't have to deal with this guy's mill deck,” Jamie said.

“Valid archetype.”

“Validity and morality are not the same thing.”

Grabbing the box off of the coffee table, Phoebe opened it up in front of everyone.

Four decks of cards in separate boxes filled the inside, as well as a few sets of dice, a bunch of tokens, and a rulebook. Grabbing the rulebook, Phoebe began scanning it.

“‘Esoterica: Rise of the New Gods’. Looks to be pretty similar to Arcanum, except with dice.”

“What do the dice do?” Jamie asked.

“Basically, at the start of a round, everyone rolls their dice, and then uses them as their mana. We each take turns playing cards, using mana, and casting spells until we each pass. Then everyone rerolls, draws more cards, and we do a new round. Aside from that, it's pretty much just Commander stuff.”

“Sounds good. Dibs on whatever deck this is,” Mark said, grabbing a deck and its dice at random.

As the three others followed suit, the rulebook, by itself, flipped to the very end.

“What the fuck was that?” Duncan said, dropping his deck.

“‘Beginning the Game:’”, Phoebe read. “The game begins once all decks have been selected. The player who owns the game goes first. Play must continue until the game ends.”

“‘must’?”

“If a player attempts to leave or stall the game, they will be penalized accordingly. The game may be paused at unanimous decision, but must resume within an hour.”

“This is getting freaky,” Jamie said.

“Ending the game: the game ends once only one player has HP remaining. They must then decide whether to reset or maintain all effects of the game.”

“What ‘effects’ is it talking about?” Mark asked.

“How should I know? If worst comes to worst, whoever wins can just reset them and we can throw this thing in the lake.”

“We should probably start before it thinks we're stalling,” Jamie said. “Open your decks, everyone.”

Opening the slim black boxes, the cards flew out and automatically sorted themself into four piles.

“Guess it really wants us to start,” Mark said.

“Leftmost is conjurations, then draw, then your starting hand, then your commander,” Phoebe said. “Now we roll dice, then begin.”