Eric's Contemplation

Sitting with a mostly empty beer bottle in his hand Eric looked at the trickling water of the fountain in the courtyard for his apartment complex. He was lounging on one of the benches wearing one of his black A frame undershirts, blue jeans and work boots. The sun was high overhead as the morning waned to make way for midday. He had stayed up most of the night only getting a brief nap, he had a brief moment of happiness getting to send his little sister off for her first day at work in corporate America. He was saddened when he first heard she took a break from school, and she was so excited at the idea of building a career and one that would allow her to pay for school so she wasn’t buried in student loans like he was. She tried to hide some of the worry she had for him, but it was plain as day to him. At one point he started to drink scotch last night, he wasn’t sure if he was trying to drown his sorrows, forget them or quell some of the anger inside of himself. He was angry at Jodie, her blaming him for something… something she wouldn’t elaborate on and if wasn’t sure if he did something or not. Did he say the wrong thing, did she just think she heard him say something he didn’t? Did he do something before and she was just letting him have it then and now? Was she doing what she always did without taking responsibility for herself. Yes he was angry at her, and livid with himself.

He had always been covering for Jodie, always trying to pick up the broken pieces to make his friend whole. Always there to prop her up and pull her along down the path to safety. She was able to make great strides from the fucked up childhood, but at a point adults needed to take responsibility for what they did, and he didn’t know what he had done to make her so angry. His mind kept running wild, never coming to a conclusion of what he did, if he did or if it was her issue or his issue because he enabled. The drinking last night didn’t help, and it was only thanks to Lauren making him drink so much water that he wasn’t paying for it today, but even without the hangover he couldn’t bring himself to go to work. He needed time to think, he hoped she would just show up and then… then he didn’t know. Was this something that could be worked through? Did he want to work through this? Was this the end, or something they would come out of stronger? There was no end to the plague of doubt that ran rampant in his brain over the fight. With one last drink the beer was gone and he tossed the bottle into the trash a few feet away from him, it went in without touching the metal sides.

“Good shot.” Eric looked up to see a pretty girl with a blonde hair cut in a bob haircut. She was wearing a pleated black and pink plaid skirt and a black polo that had the name of the apartment complex on it. “Oh, hey. Umm Sarah, right?” The pretty girl smiled, her pink glossy lips a contrast to her white teeth. “Got it in one, you are on a roll today it seems.” She said, tapping her name tag. “Mind if I sit?” He really didn’t, she was easy on the eyes and if it wasn’t for Jodie he would have attempted to ask her out on a date after he saw her, so he motioned with his head next to himself and scooted over a bit. As she sat and smoothed out her skirt she looked him up and down. “Aren’t you a bit cold dressed like that?” Eric tugged a little on his undershirt and then looked at her bare legs that ended in a pair of low black heels. As tan as she was and the time of year he thought she wasn’t bothered by the cold or she went to a tanning salon. “I’m okay, but what about you?” As if mentioning the cold let her remember that she should be cold so she let out a little shiver. “I work in the office, but I had a very concerned report about a cute man hanging out in the courtyard and I just had to check it out. Seems they had good reason to be concerned.” Eric tilted his head to the side a little to consider her, she was definitely flirting with him, but if it wasn’t for the cute comment he might not have caught it. “Yeah? What is so concerning?”

She waved her hand about him. “Cute men that promise women a rain check on coffee, but still lurk around are very concerning.” Eric laughed, he had been so tied up in knots that it felt good, really good. His problems could wait till later, Jodie wasn’t in a hurry to make amends for whatever she thought happened. “How about I remove the concern and ask when you could be free for that coffee?” Sarah had her head tilted back and looked at Eric warrily, but he could tell she was going to accept, she had never stopped smiling. He watched her look toward the office doors and then him and back and forth for a moment as if considering the question more. “Now is good, we could have some of the coffee in the office and talk, or…” She let the words fall off without finishing the sentence and he took the hint and stood up, offering his hand to her. She seemed to happily take it and he escorted her up the stairs to his apartment. The two of them made some idle conversation as she looked around the main area and he brewed some coffee. When it was done they both sipped it a few times before moving over to the couch.

They talked about working for the complex and how she actually commutes to the city for the job, not able to afford to live here even with the employee discount and he told her about his job a bit. At one point she got up to get some more coffee, he attempted to get it for her, but she said she had it. When she came back she put it on the coaster of the little table by the couch and sat back down, this time much closer to him. “You know, this coffee is doing a good job of warming me up, but I think you could help me more.” With that she leaned over pressing her glossing pink lips to his and the two opened and closed their mouths a few times as they started to make up before Eric stopped and pulled back. “What’s wrong?” Eric pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought about what was happening. He had just kissed another woman that he invited up, a pretty one. He had never cheated on someone before but at the same time he wasn’t sure it was cheating, the boyfriend thing was suppose to be just for pretend, but who has sex like they did for prtend, that fleating thought wasn’t going to hold any water and it didn’t matter if they were fighting, but he also didn’t know if there was a future there. “I.. I can’t.” Sarah raised an eyebrow hearing him start to reject her. “You can’t? Are you gay or.. It's okay if you are and wow would that be a shame.” She said the last part looking at his arms. “No, I’m sorta dating someone.” Her face went from quizzical to stern as she narrowed her eyes at him. “What does sorta mean?”

“Well.. “ Eric then started to tell Sarah about Jordan, with some white lies. How his best friend got a job and was being hit on so she lied about the two of them being together and how his little sister came into town suddenly and they ended up keeping the act going and how things had been developing. Once he started talking to her he found himself unable to stop and for her part she just kicked off her heels and curled her legs under herself as she sipped her coffee and listened. Before he knew it hours had passed and he felt like some weight was lifted off of himself and tired, so very tired at the same time. “A few thoughts, one is that you need more friends that you can open up to. Or maybe you just need to be better at that considering point two.” Sarah brushed a stray hair behind her ear as she looked at Eric sadly. “Two is that you didn’t say it, but are obviously in love with this Jordan, Jodie girl.” Eric pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tight for a second. “See the thing with that is..” He was interrupted by her snapping her fingers a few times in front of her. “No, you talked, now I’m talking, so you get to listen. It doesn’t matter that this started as you just pretending to be a couple and by the way that was stupid, she could have just said no to the men and you could have just told your sister the truth. Communication is king and without it you are not a king like you could be. So what if she is your best friend, confess your feelings, tell her the truth and maybe she can be your queen. If you are really afraid of her saying no to you, then the relationship really is fake. If she doesn’t feel the same way, talk about it you silly man. She might need more time or tell you she won't ever be there and then you both can take the best steps to be happy. When I look at you I don’t see someone who is fake, I see a real man. A stupid one that can’t see what he could lose if he doesnt’ tell her how he felt and one that can be a inconsidedrate with inviting another girl into his home and giving her hope.” Eric felt her words, it felt like she was pulling back some of his armor and seeing what lay beneath and calling him a fool, not for what she saw but because he hid it away and he felt really bad he invited her up here and then ranted about his problems for so long.

“I’m sorry…” Sarah shook her head and not letting him finish that sentence. “No, I’m sure you are and you should be, but no. You sound hurt, but maybe this is what I was meant to be. Someone who gets to hear the tale and tell you what it means is you are in love. I get to be the one to slap you and tell you are a pig for what you might have done and then tell you what you need to do.” Eric narrowed his eyes, metaphorically speaking..” ‘SMACK’ Sarah’s open palm hit Eric across his face. “You were being a pig inviting me up knowing damn well what it would cost you and not even considering my feelings.” Eric rubbed the side of his face, she did not hold back. “And now you tell me what I need to do I guess?” Sarah smiled sweetly at him like she was never angry to begin with or it had been forgotten. “Oh yes! What you are going to do is a grand gesture and tell her how you feel.” Still rubbing his face Eric stayed quite not sure what she meant. “I didn’t hit you that hard you big baby.” Sarah got up from the couch and moved over to the kitchen, opening the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen peas she saw. When she turned around Eric was only a few steps behind her. She held out the bag and he gladly took it and applied it to his face. “Do something big, something you believe she would like. She is your best friend, so you should have some idea, but if you don’t know, try talking to her best friend. I promise she will have a few ideas of what you can do to help win her heart as you tell her what you have yet to say even though you damn well knew it by now. Now practice, tell me like you would tell her.”

Eric looked at her a little uncomfortably while holding the frozen vegetables to his face, but the stern glare from the short women made him nod. “Jordan, I have known this for a long time and I was afraid to say it, but I have to let you know. I’m in love with you, I love you Jodie.” Sarah teared up a little and she fanned her face. “EEEE, oh that is just so good. Lose the peas, wear something nice and I’m sure you will win her heart and if she doesn’t you know where I work, but when.. she says it back to you. You are going to buy me that coffee at the Dunkin around the block and tell me all about it. You don’t get free therapy, oh no I at least get closure and coffee.” Pulling the bag away from his face Eric smiled at her and was really happy, he almost fucked things up much worse and instead he found someone that helped clear his path. “Deal, absolutely a deal.” Sarah gave him a big hug and then went to slip her shoes back on before leaving. “Oh and if the two of you end up getting married you better damn well give me an invite, I’m absolutely taking credit for it!”