Epilogue

Shutting the door of her apartment behind her, Emily leaned back against it and let out an exhausted sigh. The day had felt like it would never end. All through her classes, she'd hardly heard a word her profs had said, and then her shift at the coffee shop, she'd had to ask practically every third customer to repeat their order.

Even now, the feeling in her tummy refused to subside. Probably it was all in her head, but that didn't make it any less distracting, this warmth, this sense of fulfilment and completeness that seemed to emanate from her very bones and suffuse her whole being. It felt absolutely amazing, which was the worst fucking part, because she didn't want it to...or...well...maybe. God, she didn't even know anymore.

Come on, Em. One foot in front of the other.

Her roommate, Janelle, was chopping up carrots in the kitchen, dropping each one into the instant pot when she finished it. "So, guess what," Emily demanded, not giving her a chance to say hi as she hopped onto one of the barstools on the other side of the counter. "I'm fuckin' pregnant." She dropped the news with all the enthusiasm of someone saying their boss was making them work on Christmas. She knew Janelle wouldn't take it all that seriously; this attitude was sort of Emily's thing, but really, even she didn't mean it most of the time.

Emily wasn't quite prepared for just how not-seriously Janelle took it, though, when she just snickered without looking up from her carrots. "Evening to you too," she shot back. It took a couple seconds of silence for her to stop, her knife pausing in midair and hovering there as she looked up to meet Emily's withering glare. "Oh shit," Janelle said softly as it sunk in. "You're serious."

"Yup."

Putting down the knife, Janelle came around the counter to take the stool next to Emily. "What happened? Who is it?"

Emily let out a huff, rolling her eyes. "That's the worst part. I don't even fucking know the guy. He literally just came up on me at the bus stop this morning and bred me, right there. Never even told me his name, or asked me mine."

Janelle just stared down at the countertop for a moment. "Shit." Shaking her head slowly, she met Emily's gaze again. "So what do you think you'll do?"

In a rare show of trust, Emily **** herself to drop some of the hostility, releasing the tension in her shoulders. "I dunno," she said with a shrug. "I mean, I'll be out of school by the time I have the baby. My folks'll help out—probably be over the moon about being grandparents. Guess I'll still get a job with my degree, make it work."

"Grandparents...." Janelle's lips were slow to form the word. "So you're gonna be a mom."

Emily couldn't resist another eyeroll. "I know."

"Don't take this the wrong way," Janelle said carefully, giving her a sidelong look, "but honestly, I can't picture you as a mom. I mean...."

"I know." Emily found herself staring down at her tummy. For the first time that day, it really started to sink in: she was going to have a baby. A child. A human life that she'd be completely responsible for. Fuck, she could barely be responsible for herself!

So why did thinking about this make her feel so warm and fuzzy and happy, like all was right with the world?

Fucking biology.

She let out another deep sigh. "Well...maybe this'll be good for me. Not like I've got a choice, right?"

Janelle lay a hand on her shoulder. "Guess not. But...hey, you're right, y'know? You'll figure it out. I mean, everybody says you're never ready."

That was enough for Emily to manage a smile. "Yeah."

A grin tugged at Janelle's lips. "So...how'd it feel? Getting bred?"

Feeling the moment of tenderness passing, Emily couldn't resist pulling her usual mask back up. "I mean, it was alright, I guess," she said with another eyeroll. "Gotta admit, it was kinda hot how he just shoved it in and knocked me up right there, just like that. And I came pretty hard when he did."

"Damn," Janelle marveled, grinning fully now. "Almost wish I could've been there."

Emily shot her a glare. "Yeah, in your dreams."

As she helped Janelle with dinner (Thai curry), Emily couldn't help but picture herself walking across the stage at graduation with her round, pregnant belly pressing against her gown. It wasn't such a bad image.