Epilogue: Testing Lois Lane's Fertility Powers

The idol was a wooden phallus, carved and polished but too large—it was about a foot in diameter and three feet high—to be seriously used as a sex toy. It rested on the stainless steel table at the center of the testing chamber. Jimmy Olsen, who was serving as a recorder, aimed the camera on its tripod at it carefully.

Zatanna held a chunk of raw crystal in her hands; mostly clear, but the pointed tips were shaded violet by some mineral occlusion. The sorceress crossed over from the far end of the chamber and gently touched the crystal to the idol. On contact, a slight yellow glow came from within the stone.

"This is a conjure stone. It glows when in contact with an enchanted object. This lingam has been a venerated object for several generations, and contains a mild fertility enhancement effect...testing in the lab shows a 5% increase in sperm motility, and fewer cases of miscarriage in women who touch it."

The witch, who had thrown a lab coat over her fishnets and coat-and-tail, retreated to the far end of the room as Lois Lane waddled forward. Jimmy Olsen steered the camera to capture the reporter's transit.

At twenty weeks pregnant, the CEO of Hermaphrodite Fertility Services had crossed two hundred and fifty pounds, now weighing nearly twice what she had before her magically-augmented pregnancy. The raven-haired reporter liked to think that most of that weight rested in the enormous gravid gut that hung out in front of her...twelve growing babies that struggled for space in her overstuffed womb...but the reporter knew her whole body shape had changed. Hips widened, buttocks now an enormous dumptruck of an ass more than two feet across, thick thighs that rubbed against each other. She could just see her navel, which had popped out long ago, but her swollen tits were shapeless masses bigger than her head that hung out over either side of her belly. Angie loved to hold and squeeze them as she plowed her pregnant wife from behind.

Lois Lane looked, as Jimmy had said, like one of those ancient Venus figures in the flesh. The young man had meant it as a compliment, but it had made Lois scowl unhappily.

Only halfway through a normal pregnancy, and Lois Lane spent most of her days in moo-moos. She had tried maternity dresses and tailored suits, but constant growth spurts had made that unfeasible. So her pregnant form was swaddled in a tent-like garment...at least out in public. In her private quarters, Angie preferred them both to go naked, for easy access if nothing else. Lois acquiesced, not just because she liked the attention, but because she found it was just so much more comfortable to be naked. Sometimes she found herself just running both hands over her immense stomach...the skin taught, though still supernaturally free of stretch marks except for that dark line that almost bisected it. Her fingers would drum on the tight skin, feel the mass of her swollen womb within like a giant, thick water balloon...

Lois raised one arm, thicker than it had been a few months ago, and touched the wooden prick. She couldn't feel anything, not even a tingle. Zatanna gave the pregnant ex-reporter a smile as she waddled back toward the far side. The sorceress was really very keen to avoid any accidental "contamination." Even Jimmy kept his distance, in accordance with the protocols, though as a man the current thought was the most he would experience would be a sudden burst of virility.

Once Lois was a safe distance away, Zatanna stepped forward. She tapped the conjure stone against the wooden phallus...and it didn't glow this time.

"So, that seems to confirm the nature of your abilities," the sorceress said. "We're still not sure exactly how many enchantments your body has absorbed, but I'm hoping to resolve that, if you're willing."

The gravid woman gave an elaborate shrug. The last month of testing had failed to establish the exact limits of her powers. Volunteers whom Lois had interacted with under controlled conditions had experienced a variety of effects: restored and enhanced libido, spontaneous lactation, healing of damaged fallopian tubes, regeneration of damaged or depleted ovaries, the complete reversal of an hysterectomy, reversal of menopause and resumption of ovulation, higher chances of multiple ovulation, and in one case the spontaneous and bloody expulsion of both cervical cancer and a birth control implant, which had required surgical intervention to stop the bleeding and save the woman's life. The reporter shook her head as she thought of Old Mrs. McGill, of the secretarial staff, who was 75 years old and had a hysterectomy forty years ago. Lois had brushed past her eight weeks ago, and this morning an ultrasound had confirmed that the old woman was eight weeks pregnant with triplets.

Selina Kyle Wayne, Bruce Wayne's new wife, was expecting quintuplets. Lois still remembered the hug they had shared, before the distance protocols had gone into effect. Jimmy had been the photographer at the wedding, and Lois had noted how the dress had been cut so as to not emphasize the stomach...though Selina shouldn't be showing yet, the former thief was no doubt conscious to the changes her figure was going through. Lois could relate.

Zatanna set the conjure stone on the table and retreated.

"The conjure stone's glow is proportional to the strength and number of enchantments," Zatanna said. "And the color is proportional to the type of enchantment. If your powers work as we think they do—if you are a living fertility idol—this should give us some idea as to the extent of the powers you've absorbed."

The immensely pregnant woman waddled forward once again. This was tedious, but considering that fully three-quarters of the female staff were now pregnant, and that Lois Lane's powers negated normal means of birth control, she was eager to find some way to safely interact with her people. Blaze claimed that Lois had developed a maternal feeling toward them...and the former reporter couldn't help but admit that she had definitely developed stronger emotional bonds with them.

Her thicker fingers clamped onto the stone.

A rainbow kaleidoscope of light burst forth from the crystal. Lois frowned. She could feel it vibrate within her grasp, but it was so bright she couldn't actually look at it for long. More than that, it felt...hot...burning...Lois Lane's knees suddenly went weak, she dropped the white-hot crystal on the table and staggered, arms flailing.

Jimmy ran out from behind the camera and caught at her. Lois wanted to wave him off...Jimmy weighed less than half of what the pregnant woman did now...but off-balance as she was, Lois simply staggered into him...and then it was Jimmy that cried and fell to the floor.

Lois swallowed heavily as she leaned against the table. Jimmy writhed, and the living fertility idol watched in fascination as a blood stain spread along his trousers...the features of his face softened, adam's apple disappearing, shirt suddenly too-tight across the chest as his breasts puffed out...pants tight across the waist as hips flared with an audible crack...and Lois sighed.

"Experiment canceled," Lois announced. "Call the infirmary, get Jimmy there for a full physical...and update the containment protocols. No direct contact with me, women _or _men."

Zatanna was already on the phone. Lois leaned against the steel table with the wooden prick and rubbed her temples with her fingers. There was going to be so gods-damned much paperwork.

Lois waddled out of the way as the nurses arrived to take Jamie Olsen to her physical. Somehow, the pregnant woman had no doubt that "he" was now a very, very fertile young woman...and that worried Lois. If she had that kind of power, it was likely to attract the wrong sort of attention...