Epilogue: Slightly Illegal

"...how does the defendant plead?"

"Guilty, your honor," Lois Lane said.

In all honesty, the idea of setting up the dickgirls as sperm donors had been a bad idea from the start...but it was only slightly illegal. Until the girls had started to make side-contracts and were fucking their clients for cash in the clinic itself. Given that everything in the business was in Lois Lane's own name, the district attorney's deal had been fairly generous: one year in a minimum-security prison. Her lawyer said Lois would be out in six months with good behavior.

Not bad for running what had amounted to a brothel.

Which is how, several hours later, Lois Lane was in an orange jumpsuit and on a bus with guards armed with shotguns. Alongside various other low-risk prisoners that got caught doing insider trading or other white-collar crimes.

Six months, the reporter mused. I'll be pretty far along, by then.

The pregnancy had been confirmed a couple of days ago...and part of the reason Lois had taken the deal. It was one thing to do time, but she didn't want to give birth in prison. She could just carry out her sentence quietly; Perry White at the Daily Planet had already agreed to include it as part of her "maternity leave." All that Lois Lane wanted to do was pay her debt to society, give birth, and then pick up her life where it had been before that crazy night out, when she had let herself get railed unprotected and fertilized by...

"One more," a voice called out. Lois Lane moved her head to see something happening at the front of the bus. A new prisoner was being added...and the reporter's heart sank as she recognized the tall, dark-haired form in its ill-fitting orange jumpsuit.

Angelica Blaze, in handcuffs, was led down the aisle and seated right in front of Lois. The demonic dickgirl even had the gall to give Lois a wink and an air-kiss before she sat down.

A million questions burned in Lois Lane's brain...Angie had disappeared when the cops showed up, leaving Lois holding the bag. It had taken everything that the reporter and her lawyer could muster to convince the DA that Lois had no idea where she was, and as Angie had been the money behind the sperm bank-slash-brothel in the first place, they had wanted her bad. So how the hell did she just show up here and now? It couldn't be coincidence.

"Don't worry, sweetmeat," Blaze said. "I'll take care of you and the baby. It's all part of the plan."

"No talking!" one of the guards barked. Blaze gave him a smile and the finger. The former reporter sighed and sagged in her seat, wishing she could be anywhere else right now.

Then the prison bus hit a tree. These things happen when they suddenly sprout full-grown in the middle of a road. Lois Lane stayed put as the guards began yelling. Someone began to smash in the windows of the bus with a giant wooden mallet. Shotguns went off. Blue electricity briefly arced over the guards, when the collapsed onto the ground, utterly tazed.

Lois Lane sighed as Harley Quinn stepped onto the bus, her wooden mallet over one pale shoulder. She grabbed the keys from the guards' belt and began setting all the women free. Blaze and Lois were at the back. The demon turned and grinned.

"This is our stop, sweetmeat." Blaze said.

"No," Lois replied. Her violet eyes stared firmly into the demon's. "I'm not going anywhere."

Blaze frowned. "It's a prison break, sweetmeat. Do you want to go to jail?"

"Yes!" Lois said, exasperated. "Yes! I want to go to jail! I have a criminal record now! I'm a criminal! I cut a deal with the DA! Six months with good behavior, and I would be out of here and give birth to the baby, and put this all behind me! Do you know what kind of time you get for escaping prison!?"

The demon stared at her dumbfounded.

"But...we can just go. Go anywhere. I can buy you a palace..."

"I don't want a palace, Angie!" Lois said, almost in tears. The pregnancy hormones were definitely starting to kick in. "I want my life back! I want to be able to walk the streets without looking over my shoulder, or having my name on a wanted poster! I don't want a price on my head. I don't want our kid to grow up like that."

Blaze opened her mouth...and then shut it. She chewed her lip for a moment. Then she turned to Harley.

"Change of plans. We're staying. You take off. It'll look like one of the others hired you to do it." The dickgirl said.

She sat down on the seat next to Lois.

The Clown Princess of Crime raised an eyebrow. "Suit yourself, toots. But you promised to pay us for this little caper."

Angie reached out and tapped the mallet. Thunder rumbled overhead. Painted wood underwent a strange and sudden metamorphosis...and suddenly collapsed hard onto the floor of the bus, as it became solid gold.

"Never mind!" Harley said with a grin. "We're good!"

The villain dragged the mallet down the aisle. Lois sighed as she heard sirens approach.

"Don't worry, sweetmeat," Angie said. "I understand. Not everyone is cut out for the criminal life. We'll get through this...together."

Lois Lane hung her head. Something told her it was going to be a long, hard six months.