Enough Fetching, The Crowd Loves You

You make your way over to the quest board with Ixy and as you look around at which quest you're gonna pick she pulls your attention. "Well, would you look at that."

"What?"

"At the top of the board with an orange wax seal. That's not a quest. It's a summons from the judge and it's addressed to you."

You notice the fancy mark, "Is that good or bad?"

Ixy extends her hands to the sky "Could mean you're ready to become a hero."

"Yes!"

Ixy: "Or you've knocked up some poor girl."

*gulp*

Ixy starts walking towards the church, "Relax my burgeoning manwhore, I doubt she'd advertise it so openly if it was bad news. Come on."

You make your way over to the town's central church office to find Judge Glade waiting for you out front.

"Welcome Ixy and brutish welp."

Your eye twitches, "I have a name-"

Judge Glade speaks over you, "You are an adventurer if your name isn't already known you are nothing."

"That's it woman, you-"

Her words connect, "Wait, did you say adventurer?"

A small smile on her lips, "Indeed I did. Between Almara's glowing recommendation and the "positive" reviews that have come in from those glad to "receive" your help, you are more than capable to be of service to the wider nation. Always remember an adventurer is in the business of service, to help one to help all."

You begin to pump your fists and shout, "Yes! no killing rats in a basement fetch quests for me!"

Your remark is met by inquisitive stares.

"Umm, don't mind me."

Judge Glade continues, "Right, now its only a matter of outfitting you with the proper gear. As a beginning adventurer you are bequeathed the following: A Quest Pass, this will log your current quests made with approved guilds, your rank and your location in relation to the assigned guild. Should you take on a quest in a dark cave and its noticed you haven't moved for three days, the guild will know you're either dead or captured and send out another adventurer."

"How comforting." you respond dryly.

Judge Glade smirks, "You will also receive a Map of Magi, showing you where you have been, memories of location and events you have witnessed and keeping track of where you are. A Kirbi backpack, almost bottomless and can be further expanded through dream magic. A Pop Up Knock Up camping kit, includes temporary outdoor lodgings, a culinary station, fire starting kit and black hole outhouse. And finally a Book of Ages, to remotely update your log on your travels, something to leave behind as a witness if you're eaten by a giant spider."

"That last one was morbid but thanks."

She merely shrugs: "As an otherworlder its expected you have none of the bare necessities, these will be given to you and explained now. You would have received them earlier if you did not have a benefactor and chose to be a regular citizen. The currency of this continent is the 'royalle', minted and circulated by the crown. The crown royalle is the only accepted currency outside of bartering for goods and services. Here are 80 royalle in this lovely purple velvet coin purse."

You look over the bag and immediately think of the liquor, "Ah, the inside jokes."

"Now you are almost ready." The Judge begins to walk inside heading towards the deepest recesses of the building, Ixy following behind leaving you staring at their figures before you follow.

"Almost?" You call out as you follow.

"Yes almost." The judge stops in front of a door turning to face you before standing to the side, "It should be obvious what your missing, no?"

"Umm...health insurance?"

Ixy: slaps her forehead, "For Faustus' sake, no."

You retort, "Hey, do you know how hard it is to come across good dental?"

Ixy speaks to you slowly, "Weapon. You. Need. A. Weapon."

You scratch your head, "I mean you've seen me naked, I've got-"

Ixy turns even redder than usual, "Don't even finish that train of thought. Every adventurer needs a weapon. Some get them on their own, but you fell from the sky with not even the shirt on your back, so you get the lucky opportunity of being contracted to a magical weapon courtesy of our Iseki Welfare System.

Judge Glade chimes in, "Correct, behind this door lies a weapon that will call out to you and should you manage to harness it, a worthy companion that grows with you will be in your care. There are adventurers that prefer to find powerful weapons, purchase them or even inherit them. The benefit being that these are powerful weapons that will supplement their lack of skill. The weapon you get here will start with you, be as weak as you, but will grow with you. Putting in the work to master that synergy is what will make you a great adventurer.

"...this is a lot of build up for a game with no combat."

Judge Glade growls, "Shut up and get in the room."

As the door open you can make out nothing but darkness. Taking a deep breath you walk into the room and are suffocated immediately by its vastness as the door closes behind you. It feels like you are at the top of a mountain, the air feels thin and you steps feel uneven. You walk further into the room almost feeling like you've walked a mile in a minute, but something compels you to stop where your mind tells you must be the centre of where the room wants to take you.

You stand for what feels like days before you hear a sound. It comes from all around you and also inside you.

"You. Its you. You are you. And you can hear me."

You respond, "Yes, I can hear you. Who are you?"

"Your partner, maybe?"

Confused, you answer, "Why maybe?"

"We are all always here, so many of you come walking in and you never hear anyone except the one. And we wonder about when the one who hears us will come."

"Well I'm here for you then, right?"

"Are you? How do I know I won't be left to rust in a basement? Hung on a wall as a memento to moments that never were? Sold for a cheap royalle to a noble playing hero? You are you, but who are you?"

You think hard for a moment before you formulate a response, "....I am lost. I am alone. My home isn't gone, but I'll never reach it again. Time there will move on without me even if I stay still. So I need to move too. I can't promise I'll be hear for a long time. But I'm here for a good time. So if living life, loving tits and adventuring sounds like something you're up for, I'd be glad to have you with me partner."

"You had me at tits."

In what felt like less than a minute on the outside the door open and you return to the outside world. Ivory and gold hilted scimitar, sheathed by your side.

Ixy speaks first, "Would you look at that, Meaty McMeathead didn't end up being being a wizard."

You offer a curt response, "I was born with more than enough staff, thanks."

Judge Glade looks over your weapon, "A rather strange sword, curved like the RedGuard...speaking off."

The Judge proceeds to walk towards you.

*Kabedon*

"Ehhh!" you respond in shock

The judge slaps the wall next to you pining you between herself and the wall behind you, "Now, with formalities over with I expect you will be leaving at first light tomorrow?"

"Ummm.."

You look over at a nodding Ixy pleading with you to respond yes.

"Yes, first light. Exactly."

The Judge's smile only grows, "Perfect."

You hear the sound of the wall crumbling around the woman's grip. Definitely the strength of a monstrous former adventurer.

"I've heard good things about you from lonely housewives and a dear demon friend of mine, but I'd rather not break a greenhorn. Go, make a name for yourself, gain experience. You will return to this village for the Moon's Mass or I will hunt you, understood?"

*gulp* "Understood."

You have never felt like the small spoon more than when this vicious cougar seems primed to devour you right there one the spot. The Judge's face returns to the somber expression you had been accustomed to and she begins to walk away.

"Good, I expect great things welp."

You look over Ixy sighing in relief, as if you somehow avoided a terrible calamity, and you are both snapped back to reality by a boisterous feminine voice coming from your hip.

"Damn thats a lot of woman, by the order of weaponry I command you to clap those holy cheeks boss!"

Ixy rolls her eyes, "Oh great, its a pervert."

"Its name is Baroqua, and I will be one of the greatest swords to be held by an adventurer. My master shall fell many enemies and bed many wenches, this I swear!"

You tap the scabbard, "Lets start by getting back before the super nun changes her mind about waiting to crush my pelvis."

With that the three of you head back to the house, now a proper party of adventurers.