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Chapter 57 by TheGunsIinger TheGunsIinger

End of Author's Note

End of Arc 1 Q&A

“Jenny, does anything seem off to you?” John asked, his arm around his girlfriend. They were seated on an old leather couch in a beat up wooden building. The only sources of light were dusted up windows and the swinging-door entrance. And the missing northern wall.

“Like what?” Jenny asked, snuggling closer to him. The missing fourth wall really let too much of a draft in.

“Well the fact that we’re in a saloon for one thing,” John said, getting up, “and that I don’t have access to any of my powers for another.”

“Yeah, that’s my fault. Gotta make a Q&A. You know how it is,” I reply, getting out from behind the counter with a glass of whiskey. “Anything for either of you? Hold on, let me change the formatting real quick.”

TheGunslinger: Much better.

John: No, I don’t want a drink, also what the hell! What’s goi-

Jenny: I’ll take a shot of Whiskey. We’re in a saloon right? That just makes sense. Nobody ever gets it at clubs except Keith. Weird drink to order at a club if you ask me.

I give Jenny her drink as I spawn the rest of the characters in with a flick of the wrist. Tumbling from a foot in the air comes Keith, Neve, Shane, Amy, and Kimberly. Mumbling an incantation I found on the back of a cereal box, I give them the knowledge to answer all the questions they are being asked. Keith and Kimberly notably are both naked, so I decide to give them a moment to get dressed with their clothes that of course teleported with them.

TheGunslinger: Well that’s that. Let’s get into this, shall we?

Neve: First of all, who are you? Second of all, where are we? Third-

Shane: I can walk! I can-

TheGunslinger: Hush now, sweet children. We have a lot of questions to get to. Let’s fire up the random number generator and get started! Patrons first.


From: Dargon

For Jenny: Who’s your biggest inspiration for music?

Jenny: Either Freddie or my Mom. I mean, Freddie wasn’t a bassist, and my Mom wasn’t the greatest vocalist of all time, so both? Just combine them. Both is good.

-

From: Phil

For Kimberly: Which of the seven sins in the Inferno is your favorite to visit?

Keith: Sensible chuckle

Kimberly: Quiet you! Definitely gluttony. They have so much food there and it’s always different. I’ve been going there for years now and I can’t even tell if they have a sort of schedule or what. It’s addicting.

-

From: Dargon

For Neve: Is losing your humanity your greatest fear? Do you actively plan on replacing even more of yourself?

Neve: That wouldn’t be such a bad thing, so it’s definitely not my greatest fear. Making these cybernetics isn’t easy. I’m no mechanic, and I make each one to make sure I’ll never need to make another-

Keith: Funny how that turned out.

Neve: As I was saying, probably replacing my eyes, maybe some limbs, don’t know yet. I’ve got something in the works, but… you’ll just have to wait and see.

-

From: AVeryHotApplePie

For Jenny: If you could perform a gig with anyone (alive or deceased), who would your ideal band comprise of?

TheGunslinger: The short version, Jenny.

Jenny: You’re evil!

TheGunslinger: I’m reasonable!

Jenny: Fine! Freddie Mercury on lead vocals is an obvious choice. Maybe also piano depending on what song we’d play. Probably “Somebody to Love” because that’s his favorite. Jeff Lynne on guitar maybe… I think the glam rock would go together pretty good with the synthetic stuff, though he’d have to take a backseat to Freddie. Who doesn’t? Me on bass, and Ringo on drums. He’s not the best drummer in the world, but he was always the most charismatic Beatle to me.

John: You thought about that a lot.

Jenny: You would too if eighty percent of the people you listened to were dead!

John: Fair enough.

-

From: Phil

For Keith: How long have you been playing the drums/do you play any other instruments?

Shane: I reckon he’s been playing the drums since he could hold the sticks. First thing I did was teach him how to play. Needed a drummer after all.

Keith: Thought the question was for me, Shane. Since I was about eight, I’ve been playin’. Don’t play anything else. Don’t sing. Don’t need to.

-

From: Dargon

For Keith: Do you have more transformative potions you're making? Or are you just focusing on perfecting the ones you currently have?

Keith: I’ve got a few I make regularly for clients, sex is a big industry there. Other than that mostly perfecting the ones I’ve got. Makes more sense to do one thing well than to do ten things shoddily.

-

From: Dargon

For Shane: What's the biggest feat of music magic that you have accomplished?
Shane: I suppose it’d be that time I deflected buckshot with a riff. That was pretty damn cool. Probably saved your life in the process, Keith.

Keith: I was stoned up. I could’ve handled it.

Shane: If you say so.

-

From: Dargon

For Jenny: Have you ever thought about making a song yourself?

Jenny: wellIactuallyhaveasongbookthatI’veneverletanyoneseesodon’taskmethatpleaseokaythanks.

TheGunslinger: Alright then! That’s all the Patreon questions! Let’s move on to the other questions.

-

From: Izix

For David: Would you wear a tophat if you were given one that is bird sized?

John: I don’t know how he even knows what that is, but he seems excited about it.

-

From: CalamitousIntent (Cala from now on)

For Jenny and Keith: What is the most terrifying encounter you’ve ever had?

Jenny: Probably fighting that bassist girl with my cracked bass and losing. Even if it wasn’t on its way to being broken, I still probably would’ve lost. That magical explosion was utterly terrifying. Now let’s watch Keith’s thousand yard stare!

Keith: Very funny. Probably fighting the Cockatrice family that started Shane’s curse. We had no way of knowing that the head of their family was a near-deity. We barely got away. Ben didn’t.

TheGunslinger: Well alright then, thanks for the question, Cala.

-

From: Moonblack

For Kimberly: You gave John a (very brief) kiss because Jenny asked you to. Do you always do that sort of thing when someone asks you to? What if someone (close to you) asks you to deliver something a bit more… sexual?

Kimberly: I was horny, Keith wasn’t around. That’s probably the limit of what I’d do with someone other than him though. Also I owed Jenny one from-

Jenny: Alright that’s the end of that question!

Keith: Hold on, let her go on…

TheGunslinger: Nope, next!

-

From: Omnius

For Neve, Kimberly, Jenny, and Amy: What is your favorite sex act?

Neve: Anal. Zero risk, maximum pleasure.

Jenny: Why am I not surprised? I’ll go with reverse cowgirl. I like being on top… so does John.

Amy: Uhm. Right well…

Kimberly: Yeah you’ve obviously never done anything. For me I like oral the most-

Keith: Always using your mouth…

Kimberly: Well yeah. That’s pretty much exactly why.

-

From Izix

For Keith and Kimberly: How did you two meet?

Kimberly: Funny story actually… I actually met Jenny’s mother first, who introduced me to Shane, who introduced me to him. I was putting her through a detox because man was she addicted to just all the ****, and she invited me out on a double-date with her then-boyfriend and his friend.

Keith: Then she contacted my company for a love potion, because Debra was too skittish to do it herself.

Kimberly: Right, and Debra accidentally slipped it into your drink instead of Shane’s. Of course, you realized immediately what had happened despite me using a misnomer when I ordered the potion. Not our best moment.

Keith: It all turned out for the best though.

-

From: A Gamer

For Jenny: Who is your favorite Abyss bassist and your favorite non-Abyss bassist?

Jenny: Well, as for the Abyss there’s this really hot dark elf that performs at the Inferno on Sundays; he only performs grunge, but, man, if I wasn’t with John, I would be going after him in a heartbeat. Non-abyssal… probably John Deacon. He’s the most underappreciated Queen member, and he was cute when he was younger.

-

From: Izix

For Amy: Where did you get your pets?

Amy: Wow a question I can actually answer! Well it’s different for all of them. I got Ignis first, I’ve been raising her since she was a little baby. Everybody in my family has had a firefox, though they’re usually not as big as Ignis. She has gigantism and she’s such a good girl! Eventually I inherited the summoner’s armor, and Ignis became my first summon. I got Rocky from the Order when they raided this mad scientist’s lab. They were going to kill him, but they called my Dad and me in to see if we could deal with it in a less violent way. I was able to calm his rage, and he came with me quietly. I met Sparky in a forest, his hive had been destroyed and he was the only survivor. I didn’t even need to tame him, he was happy to have company.

John: Who is Sparky anyway?

Amy: Wouldn’t you like to know?

TheGunslinger: That’s it for the questions, folks! If yours didn’t get answered, consider trying to become a Ka-Tet member or becoming a Patron! Now one more commercial before the show!

Cue Commercial Break

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