Employee satisfaction time

"I think I'd like to help with the employees," you say.

Heather beams.

"I was hoping you would say that," she says. "Have a seat and we can go over how this works."

You settle into the chair across from her at the desk. Heather returns one of the sheets to the manilla folder and lays the other out on her desk. She doesn't jump right into it. She plucks her glasses from her nose and looks at you across the desk, you gaze back into her pale green eyes.

You can't be certain, but you think you detect a hint of exotic mischief in those eyes. She blinks and it's gone.

"Without a personal satisfaction consultant it has been up to the personal assistants and secretaries to handle employee satisfaction," Heather explains. "We have our own jobs and we have to take care of the clients, so the employees have been neglected for a very long time."

"I understand," you assure her.

"Good," she continues. "The difference between the employee and customer satisfaction is that with the employees you will be working undercover, ahem, so to speak. The employees you will be assisting will not and should not know that you are working for H&N."

"If they asked for assistance, how will they not know who I am?" You ask.

"They don't exactly request assistance," Heather pulls at her lower lip with the earpiece of her glasses. "During our quarterly reviews we build up a psychological profile by asking a series of questions. That, plus observation and comments from the employees themselves allow our analysts to generate a satisfaction profile."

"I think I understand," you reply.

"It's okay, it's not too complicated once you get started," Heather's gaze roams over your body. "I think you'll find it's a bit like riding a bike."

You giggle. Heather puts her glasses back on and examines the sheet.

"Hmmm," she bites her lip, "I see four good options for you to get started with here at H&N."

"Let's hear 'em," you interject.

"Oh, a very eager young lady," Heather says. "I appreciate that. Well, let's see...first up I think Mrs. Kathleen Kegel, our accounts payable manager, would be a good fit for you. She is in her late 30s, very attractive, auburn hair and hazel eyes. Kathleen is five-eight, 115 pounds, and her measurements are 36-24-32. She is unhappily married to the same man for over a decade and she believes he has been cheating on her. Kathleen also harbors secret lesbian fantasies, but is too afraid of the stigma to act on these fantasies. Based on the interns she has selected we know she has a particular attraction to younger women, but she is far too professional to act on her feelings."

"I like the sound of her," you comment.

"I thought you might," Heather laughs. "Next up, Jake Tuggins, he works in our mailroom. Jake has a bright future at the company. He is in his early 20s, he's six-one, 180 pounds, handsome, but a bit unkempt at times, with shaggy brown hair and brown eyes. Jake is single and he is very overworked. We believe he has been smoking marijuana frequently, including on the job, and it is beginning to impact his performance. We need for Jake to find a less troubling way to relieve stress."

"Third, I have Mr. Warritch. He is one of our best fund executives. He is in his late 50s, five-ten and a portly 260 pounds, he has balding gray hair and blue eyes. He won't be winning any beauty contests. For the past few weeks Mr. Warritch has been going through a messy divorce from his wife of three decades. We believe because of this he has been distracted and he seems to have a bit of hostility towards attractive women. We believe Mr. Warritch may be experiencing urges that could lead him to sexually **** or **** one of our employees. He is a valuable member of H&N so we need to help Mr. Warritch work through his desires in a way that is not harmful to anyone else and does not cause him to feel remorse."

Heather pauses to take a sip of coffee and then adds, "That one may be a bit rough for you."

"Finally," she continues, "there is Mr. Horace. He is a special case. He is one of the founders of H&N. Once every week someone must attend to him at his mansion in Golden Meadow. Mr. Horace is very elderly, but taking care of his satisfaction is not as bad as it might sound. He mostly enjoys...observing...and he can be very generous if he enjoys himself."

Heather regards you across the desk.

"So, Joy, where would you like to begin?"