Emma’s never been with a girl before…

Emma opens her mouth. ‘I…’ she begins, looking scared and aroused and guilty and excited all at the same time. ‘It’s just that, well, I’ve never been with a girl before…’

Emma Stone laughs. ‘Your loss, man. Girls are fucking awesome. Is that a yes I detect?’

Emma glances up at you uncertainly. ‘Do you… is this really what you want?’ she whispers. ‘I mean, I do owe you an apology, but this is…’ She swallows hard. ‘This is something else.’

And even through the haze of ****, you know that’s not how you want this to go. ‘No,’ you tell her, pulling her closer and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. ‘We’re not doing this unless you’re up for it, Emma. It’s not about repaying a debt or trying to apologise or anything like that, okay? We either do this because it’s fun, and we’re drunk, and it’s Friday, or we go home and cuddle till we fall asleep. And either’s fine by me.’

You squeeze her shoulders protectively. ‘You don’t have to do this for me, Emma. God knows if there was another guy in the room, I might be having second thoughts. But if you’re curious, and you want to find out what it’s like… safe in the knowledge that nothing’s going to happen, because she’s like my annoying step-sister and this is weird enough already… it’s up to you.’

Emma takes all that in. Lust flickers over her face, quickly followed by guilt, quickly followed by something else.

‘Oh… I, I mean, I have always wondered, it’s just never been… practical…’ You resist the urge to snicker. Behind you, Emma Stone is shaking her head silently. ‘Are you really sure you don’t mind? I mean, if it was you kissing someone else…’

‘I make no promises about not kissing your boyfriend,’ Emma Stone interjects. ‘But only because even I am not that easy. If he’s gonna jerk off in front of me, the least he can do is kiss me first.’

Emma Watson wrinkles her brow, but sighs. ‘I suppose that’s fair.’

Then you all look at each other, unsure how to proceed. It’s a bit like a Mexican standoff with genitalia instead of guns, and even Emma Stone looks a little apprehensive.

‘So that’s it?’ she finally demands. ‘That’s a yes? We get to have a threesome? And I get to make out with you and your hot boyfriend?’

Emma Watson narrows her eyes. ‘Just remember I’m watching. But, yes, if you must –’

Even you’re taken above by the explosive speed with which Emma Stone lunges forward and kisses her.