Eileen Calano, 33-year-old resort manager

"I urge you all to throughly review my report before reaching a conclusion on the matter," Miss Calano stated, her professional tone giving away a hint of desperation.

With long black hair running down her back, nearly matching the pitch-black shade of her two-piece business suit, she stood in front of the Freedonia Board of Directors who were currently deliberating on whether or not Miss Calano, the Head Manager of their sexual relief resort, should be made to wear the same jewelry as the rest of the staff. And she was fighting a losing battle.

"Yes yes, we've read your report, Miss Calano," spoke Mr. Whitmouth, the oldest of the directors, "and we understand that the managerial responsibilities of the Freedonia Resort are extensive. However, that is not our primary concern."

"Our primary concern," picked up Mr. Irving, "is that people are leaving Freedonia unsatisfied. 'Had a great time! Wish I could've gotten a crack at Miss Calano though.' or 'Can't believe I let Eileen the Ice Queen get away again! Definitely gotta fuck her someday.' Comments like these having been increasing in frequency over recent months both on our website's reviews and across social media. I don't know what sort of impression you're leaving on the clientele, Miss Calano, but it could stand to improve dramatically."

Miss Calano couldn't deny that she had, on (very frequent) occasion taken strolls through areas of the resort that were often full of men. She enjoyed showing off her untouchable status, and her gait, her cocky expression, even the deep breaths she took to make her breasts heave, were all carefully calculated to stir the men into a sexual frenzy that they'd be unable to take out on her. Of course, she wouldn't be caught dead admitting that to the directors.

"I've had the misfortune of reading some of those reviews myself," Miss Calano remarked, a drop of sweat sliding down her face as she continued to lose ground, "and all of them leave 5 stars despite their apparent desire to have intercourse with me. If they leave a perfect rating, doesn't that reflect that I've performed my duties as a manager?"

"How naive," objected Miss Stirling, a women in her early 40's. "One does not get to be in my position without knowing how to read between the lines, Miss Calano, and I can tell you that a customer who leaves 'wishing' for anything did not receive a 5 star experience!" The rest of the directors nodded in consensus at her wizened words which, to Eileen, seemed wasted on such a frivolous subject.

Miss Calano sighed, which Anthony DeSparas took as some sort of invitation to open his mouth. "Hey, don't be so uptight Eileen," he joked. "If you are, a dick or two will just loosen you up anyway!" The Board erupted in laughter, leaving Miss Calano to simmer in anger until they were finished laughing at Anthony's joke.

Anthony was the youngest director, younger than Eileen, and if the fact that he had none of the skills or expertise to qualify him for the job didn't make Miss Calano hate him, his insistence on calling her by her first name certainly did.

"Alright, I think we've heard enough," announced Mr. Whitmouth. "Miss Calano, you'll find a necklace and matching bracelet in your office upon your return. You are to wear them at all times. Meeting adjourned."

"Excuse me," she said before seeing herself out. She was no stranger to the hungry stares she received around the resort, and she certainly wasn't looking forward to the men's imaginations becoming reality. Miss Calano had a job to do, and she couldn't do it very well if she couldn't walk straight.