Earth Girls Weekly

"Don't look so shy, love," the photographer scolded, finger still clicking away as he snapped one shot of Clara after another. "Anyone would think you didn't want to be on the front cover of Earth Girls Weekly in just your knickers."

"The front cover of what?"

"Don't look so shocked. All the Doctor's girls have to do it. All the fit ones, anyway. Surely you knew about this?"

"No!"

"Funny," said the photographer, whose name was Glorbax McQueen, though it probably won't come up again. "Neither did that sexy little redhead whatshername. She complained even more than you did!"

"I highly doubt that," said Clara, coldly, cupping her hands over her naked breasts as the clever camera tried to capture a shot of her nipples. She was trying to freeze Glorbax into submission, though under the current circumstances it was very difficult to be intimidating. "Stop it! Right now! You're not allowed to put me on the cover of anything!"

"Not even Earth Girls Weekly?"

"Especially not Earth Girls... anything!"

"It's a very well-respected magazine, you know," Glorbax pointed out. "Goes out to all the nicest planets. Earth girls are popular! Here, let me take another photo, just in case."

"No!"

"Too late, love. Besides, they're gorgeous knickers. Love what they do to your bum."

"They're not for you! They're for... someone special."

"Ooh, who is he? What's his name? Does he like pink? I'll send him ten free copies," said Glorbax, cheerfully snapping away, as Clara scowled and did her best to hide her bottom with her hands. "He'll like seeing you on the cover. Men always do. Bend over just a little bit and give your tits a shake."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because of the mild hypnotic function in the camera flash," said Glorbax, as Clara bent over just a little bit, allowing him a perfect angle down the valley between her tits as she gave them a lascivious wiggle, a look of mounting horror on her face. "It's a bloody good camera. Designed it myself, you know."