Dumbass

John stumbled to his feet and rushed towards his alarm clock. The box stopped dinging when he started reading it.

Daily Quest: So you think you can Sex.

It seems you thought correctly. Your Nymph has reached Nymphic Nirvana and performed the Mana ritual. She is Enlightened. A part of her mind will perpetually be bound to an immeasurable pool of mana. Her body, however, is too weak to support her immense power. Therefore, her entire mind is trapped in Nymphic Nirvana. She cannot see or hear you, but she can feel your touch. Your quest is to level her up to 12. Nymphs gain the most experience through sexual encounters. If you ever accuse the being that controls your existence of injustice again, it will be the last coherent though you perform.

+10 Exp.

+5 Libido

Accept Decline

John read and reread the quest box. After he recovered from the shock, he hit accept. His mind started to clear.

I can do this. There’s a clear objective now. All I have to do is level her up……… Through sex, apparently.

John’s grin reappeared slowly.

Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk

His mom was coming up the stairs. John panicked, she couldn’t see a passed out sex goddess on his bed. He rushed to the door and opened it right as she reached the second floor. He closed the door behind him, hoping that she hadn’t seen anything inside. She mockingly covered her eyes with one hand.

“Oh, honey, I didn’t know you slept in the nude now too.”

John looked down at his slightly erect penis, then back up at his bombshell MILF mom as his face turned red. He rushed down the hallway and into the bathroom, his now fully hard dick slapping against his thigh. He heard his mom giggling behind him.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, John! It’s a natural reaction in the morning!”

She called out to him. He didn’t respond and closed the bathroom door behind him.

That should distract from whatever she saw or didn’t see when I opened my door. And hopefully, she was walking up to tell me she was about to leave for work.

A knock at the door.

“I’ll just be off to work now, honey. Sorry for surprising you. When you get out, there’s a letter from your new school for you in the kitchen.”

“It’s okay, mom. Bye.”

“Bye, sweetie.”

Her footsteps retreated down the hallway and downstairs. John didn’t leave until he heard the front door close.

He walked downstairs, still nude (Why not?), and looked for the letter. He cast observe on a pile of letters and, instead of a bunch of info boxes as he expected, they were color coded. Bills glowed red, junk mail glowed yellow, and his letter glowed green.

Neat. Maybe all I have to do is constantly cast observe on the area in front of me while I’m parkouring and I’ll be able to see when I’m about to walk into an instant dungeon.

John read the letter. It said that his orientation session was scheduled for Thursday at noon.

“That’s tomorrow.” John said to himself.

His title info box dinged

The Gamer

(Level 32 Captain Obvious)

John chuckled. He liked the Developer’s sense of humor. He tossed the letter back onto the counter and walked back upstairs.

It was four in the afternoon. John had not stopped thrusting in and out of Omorfia. She was now level 8. It was both a pleasurable and a frustrating process. On one hand, he was having sex with the sexiest creature he had laid eyes on. On the other hand, it had been nine hours and she had only leveled up once. On another hand, he had gained 3 endurance stat points and Gamer’s Body was level 2 now. On yet another hand, he hadn’t even taken a break to try and level up his other skills. On a final, libidinous, decisive, hand… It was amazing sex. She may have been comatose, but her pussy was in overdrive. It quivered and convulsed ceaselessly, bringing John over the edge at least twice an hour. He kept at it.

It was four in the morning. It had been twelve hours. He took a break to greet his mother so as not to arouse suspicion, but made an excuse that he would be busy in his room until he went to sleep so she wouldn’t walk in. Omorfia was level 9.

It was ten in the morning. John had to take another suspicion break at eight, and was now preparing for orientation. Omorfia was still level 9. John took a shower. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked perfectly fine. No bags under his eyes. No exhaustion status effect. No starvation status effect. No dehydration status effect.

It’s been three days since I last ate, drank, or slept. Gamer’s Body is amazing.

John walked out the door and across the street into the alley where he first activated parkour. He activated it again and set course for Firesmith. As he had told himself to do before, he cast observe in front of him every few seconds. After a few times getting useless information about fire escapes and rooftops, he started to get this info box:

Path clear

He continued like this for a few minutes. Then:

Instant Dungeon Imminent

John deactivated parkour and stopped. He was about to jump from a six story rooftop onto a four story one. Nothing looked different. He cast observe again.

Instant Dungeon Imminent

Then he saw it. A sort of glittering veil. It was light green, and encompassed the entire rooftop. He reactivated parkour, concentrating on going around the dungeon. A new path lit up, backtracking a little but then continuing in a northeasterly direction. John grinned as he started to sprint down the new path, still casting observe every few seconds.

Fuck yeah!

John had to go around two more instant dungeons on the way to school, but he arrived just in time. It was 11:45, and John was walking through the gates of Firesmith Academy when he felt it. A subtle change in the air. Like it was electrified, crackling with energy. He looked at his arm and groaned. His aura had manifested, which meant he was in a dungeon. He scanned his surroundings for enemies, but there were none. As he stayed alert, he noticed that the sky was still blue. He looked at the street behind him. Cars were driving by at normal speeds. The conflicting signals sent him into a slight panic.

Something weird is going on here. Shit ain’t adding up.

“You have quite the intuitive, if somewhat vulgar, mind, Mister Newman.”