Dodging Calls and Dodging Cars

My eyes went wide as I saw the hulking figure get closer and closer to me. This was… a real life super villain! Like, call fucking She-Hulk because there is an actual super strong super villain running around the streets of New York! Well, ok, maybe not running, more charging. But these police officers didn’t stand a chance against a behemoth like this… their bullets they were firing were bouncing right off of it!

At this point most of the police were hiding behind cars and escorting civilians to safety. I took a second to quick glance back at Captain Stacy who was just staring up at me with a weird look on her face. Stacy doesn’t show fear, but she shows worry, and right now I could see her brain was running a thousand miles an hour trying to figure out how to deal with this monster. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I stood up straight on the lamp post, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes for a second, before focusing in on the woman. She hadn’t seen me yet, I still have the element of surprise and-

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIING!!! RRRRRRRRIIIIIIING!!!

“That’s a bad time to forget to turn on do not disturb…” I say, as the Rhino woman looks up and locks eyes with me on the lamp post, as she grits her teeth and lets out a loud snarl at the sight of me. I could feel my heart drop down to my chest as I meet her gaze, and before I could let out a small eep! she begins to charge again.

“SPIDER!!!” She screams, her voice deep, bellowing, as she grabs the lamp post I’m on by the base and rips it from the ground, giving me barely enough time to jump off of it and land behind her gracefully.

“Oh! Good, you know my name. Of course you do. May I get yours? And possibly the name of whatever Zoo it was you escaped from?” I say with a small smile, before the woman uses the lamp post almost like a sword and swings it around to try and hit me again. I just barely do a back flip to jump out of the way, before sending two webs to the lamp post and ripping it out of her hands before she sends it flying towards the civilians.

“So we’re skipping introductions? I usually like it when girls buy me dinner first before they try and break my back but that’s just me personally.” I quip, as Rhino snarls again and charges at me, head first, horn down.

“STOP. TALKING.” She screams, and right before she practically impales me I quickly grab her by the horn and use her own body as leverage as I push myself off the ground, practically tumble over her body in a front flip, before landing on the other side of her, and turning around to face her again. However, due to her momentum she was unable to stop and she continues to run until her horn squishes into the metal of a dark black Dodge Charger… _Huh! Ironic! _I was just about to shoot another web when, once again, a loud piercing noise shot in my ear.

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIING!!! RRRRRRRRIIIIIIING!!!

“Ugh! What???” I scream as I grab my phone, and instantly my heart sinks again as the caller ID shows up: Aunt May. I have already hung up on her once… I knew I was going to get a lecture. If I don’t answer now I’m not gonna be allowed to leave my room for a month.

I lift up the front of my mask to not have it cover my mouth, only revealing my lips as I answer the phone. “Hey! Uh… May! Now is not exactly the best time!” I say, as I see Rhino has begun to dislodge herself from the car, ripping the door off of its hinges as she stands up straight again.

“I don’t care if it’s a good time or not Petra! When I call you’re supposed to answer! Where are you?” She asks, her voice ringing in my ear. I was about to respond but I looked up in just enough time to see a black Dodge Charger, with a very familiar Rhino-shaped hole in the side of it flying directly towards my head.

“Shit!” I scream, before doing a barrel roll to the side and dodging the car as it crashed into the building behind me. “Hold on May.” I say quickly, before standing up straight and screaming. “Can’t you see I’m on the phone! It’s rude to interrupt!” With that I send multiple webs in her direction, covering her face to temporarily blind her as I jump out of her eyesight and onto the wall of a building three stories up.

“Petra! Petra you get back here right now!” May screams as I pick the phone back up and put it to my ear.

“Sorry May! Stopped for a pizza. I’m in the cafeteria at school, what’s up?” I ask, my eyes darting between the Rhino, who was still struggling to rip the web off of her face, and the civilians running away. I was only buying time, but I needed to give the police enough so they can fully evacuate the area… I needed a plan. Because at this rate this one’s just gonna ware me out and I’ll be unable to stop her.

“Well, please try and stay away from downtown ok? That Spider-Skank is having a bit of a tussle down there! It’s all over the news!” It is??? I take a quick look around and I notice about 5 different news stations with camera crews all around us filming, and I couldn’t help but sigh. Also… did Aunt May call me Spider-Skank?

“Thanks May. I’ll avoid it. But for now I gotta go! Harriette is waiting for me.” At this point Rhino finally rips off my web and roars into the air again, before looking around and finally making eye contact with me on the building with the most I’m gonna kill you look I’ve ever gotten. “And she is totally giving me the evil eye. Gotta go May! Love you!” I say quickly, before hanging up the phone and webbing it to the wall of the building. “No more distractions…” I grumble, before jumping off of the building and aiming my foot directly into the sole of the woman’s back, kicking off of her, and landing behind her. It was barely enough to even stagger the beast, as she stumbled for a second, before turning around with an evil grin on her face.

“SPIDER RUNS! SPIDER NO FUN!” She growls again as she picks up a sewer grate and chucks it at my head like a frisbee.

“Spider ALSO doesn’t love the idea of being squashed underneath a big grey boot.” I say quickly, ducking underneath the sewer grate as it flies past my head, feeling like Nia in the Matrix as I just barely bend underneath it. I shoot out some webs and connect it to the sewer grate and whip it back around to hit the Rhino… which she just catches in one hand.

“PUNY SPIDER! Rhino was promised more fun!” She screams again as she slowly starts to approach me, towering over me as my eyes get wide below the mask.

“I’m sorry! I’m not the Spider that does birthday parties. But I can get you her number if you wa-NGH!” I guess my quip took a little bit too long as Rhino grabs me by the throat and lifts me into the air, holding me close to her face as she lets out a growl.

“Shut up.” She says, almost calmly compared to her other screams.

“You know, shutting up is not really my strong suit.” I say in a gravely voice, as the woman’s hand starts to coil around my throat, and feeling her warm breath on my face even through the mask. “Kind of like how brushing your teeth isn’t yours… do you want a breath mint?” I say with a small chuckle.

“I. Said. SHUT UP!” She screams, and next thing I know she throws me across the street, and my body crashes through a brick wall of an under construction building before landing on the cold concrete floor. I tried to stand up, but my legs were shaky, only able to get up on my knees as I look up and see Rhino follow me in the building, a huge smile on her face. If I hold her here it would give Captain Stacy enough time to get everyone to safety…

But how the fuck am I gonna do that?