Dick Schwanz

Richard P. Schwanz was a young man who had shitty, shitty, luck. It felt like very good thing hot him that was good, would lead to something equally bad, or worse. For example, he got a new car? A few days later it was stolen and crashed into some rich dude named Queen’s car, for which Dick had to pay for the repairs. He gets a promotion? The company folded the next day. He wins an all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas, with sea cruise included? He got drunk and fell off the boat, drifting off to sea and landing on a deserted island. So yeah, his life sucked. But his luck would change.

After day 3, Dick scrounged around and found some shiny metal object, two he realized was a genie. This being the DC Universe, he guessed that it was a magic genie lamp, which was correct. The genie explained that he liked staying in the lamp, and gave 3 wishes to people so they’d leave him alone. 3 wishes was the max, though, no more no less.

So, Dick knew to be savvy enough. “I wish my luck would change, so it wasn’t so bad for me!” And poof! His luck wasn’t so “one step forward two steps back.” He then wished for a way off the island, and then poof! The search and rescue ships were now heading this way.

Then Dick realized something. He didn’t have a good third wish. The ones he thought of didn’t seem all that great, until he decided, eh fuck it. “I wish I had a magical penis. It would be perfect in every way, and who’d ever see it or be affected by it would want to please it, and will do what I say. Even, straight men and lesbians will give in, if I want them to. My penis has to be visible to start affecting someone, but after seeing it, in real life or by a photo, I can put it or the photo away.”

And with a poof! Richard’s dick became perfect. The perfect size, shape, density, weight, and could shoot out as much cum as he wanted (if he wanted.) The genie vanished back into the lamp, to which Dick threw away. The guy didn’t want to be bothered, right? Gathering supplies, he sat at the coast, waiting for his rescue team to save him.