Delta Kappa Magnum Fraternity vs. the Anders Sisters, by johnsmithhhhh37

“Hugggh, are we still not done with the submissions, Marcie?”

“We haven’t even gotten to the halfway point, Gina.”

“Fucking hell, which fresh garbage are we looking at this week?”

“Delta Kappa Magnum Fraternity vs. the Anders Sisters, by johnsmithhhhh37"

“Marcie.”

“Yes, Gina?”

“We had many usernames so far.”

“This feels oddly familiar.”

“But this! This has to be the most retarded one, yet!”

“Gina! That is offensive!”

“No, offensive is that Jonny boy here drooled all over the keyboard while typing in his name! Hey dipshit! Next time don’t drop out of college before you learn how to fucking write!”

“Look Gina, sometimes people just don’t have the patience to come up with something clever and witty. Sometimes they just type in what first comes to their head.”

“Ugaboobga wuuubaboo!”

“…”

“There! I just typed in what came to my mind!”

“Gina…”

“Oh, but good for you, engin! Your username is no longer the dumbest one! Johnsmitthhhhhhhhhhh, Jesus fucking Christ!

“Gina. I remind you again that we are not here to judge the authors usernames.”

“Fine. What’s this newest dump truck about?”

“It is a story about a bunch of frat boys that want to score with girls that are clearly out of their league.”

“…”

“Gina?”

“You know what? I fucking take it. I don’t even care if there’s dick in it.”

“Good, because there probably will be.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Alright, we are at a beach and there are these ultra nerds walking around with a blue marker around their neck, so that they can mark whoever they have sex with, which if this story would be realistic would be -5.”

"Well, Felicia, are you ready to get pumped?" teased Sarah.

"I shall try to withhold my enthusiasm" replied Felicia.

"You honeys up for a little fun?" said Bro A.

"Yes, but my idea of fun doesn't involve getting inseminated by a teenager" Felicia replied coldly.

"Hey, I'm 19. And besides, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. None of the other ladies who are wearin' the blue seemed to mind". He thumbed the blue marker around his neck.

“This is a bit of an older story, coming out all the way back in 2015. And you can definitely tell.”

“The bitches got a name and that’s about, it. But that’s still more then the frat boys, who have about as much individuality as the beagle boys.”

“Personality aside, we get to choose just how the Kappa’s are about to conquer the girls. Hm, a race always sounds like fun.”

“Yeah sure, whatever.”

Bro A took his position behind Felicia, very pointedly staring at her ass. "Do you like soda, honey?"

"Sure, why not" she responded.

"Because I'm about to Mount and Do you."

“Gina, we did this author a grave injustice. This man is a genius.”

“Marcie. No.”

“In my long three year career of critiquing I never encountered such a magnificent pun! Kudos, Bro A, kudos.”

“I can’t even tell if you are sarcastic or not and that is creeping me the fuck out.”

“I must not be outdone. I saved this one for a long time. Gina, how do you make a duck pay?”

“Get to the fucking race already!“

“Fine, so we get to pick which girl to follow. Hm, I did the last choice, so I leave this up to you, Gina.”

“Since the girls have about as much personality as a somalian toaster, the author gives us small description in the chapter title. Like Sarah is “the tall one” and Lisa is “the competitive one” Real Da Vinci here.”

“Da Vinci wasn’t an author, Gina.”

“Neither is this Goomba!”

“Your pick?”

“Don’t rush me, Marcie!”

“You certainly think this through.”

“I just wanna figure out which of these paths have the least amount of chapters...eh let’s go with Felicia, she’s the “sassy one” uuuh!”

“Very well.”

Something about the feeling of 50 horny pairs of eyes on her ass, coupled with the thrill of this high stakes erotic contest, made Felicia a little light headed. She decided to make good on her earlier threat and tease the bros a bit.

After about 10 seconds she stopped and pretended to re-tie her shoes, not hurrying and making sure to wiggle her ass seductively. The bros roared their approval, and their mingled testosterone hit her like a wave.

“This is another one of these stories with ridiculously short chapters, but this one is especially pathetic. This is the entire fucking chapter!”

“Indeed, as a matter of fact, this chapter is short enough to get the top seven spot on my shortest chapter list.”

“We have a list?”

“Why of course we do.”

“Why am I even surprised?”

“Back to the race, well actually it is already over.”

“Felicia fucks around and fucks out and we get our first sex scene.”

“This chapter is the longest yet but do not get too excited. It amounts to a grand total of 594 words, or about a single word page.”

“And the whole actual sex part is two paragraphs long. Real Da Vinci here.”

“You said that one before.”

“Marcie, I am putting as much effort into this fucking review as the author did in writing his story. Bite me.”

“Allow me to say something positive, Gina.”

“Do you have to?”

“This story goes to great lengths to make clear that this is all consensual. Sure, Felicia may not like to get screwed in front of a huge crowd. But she did make a bet and is now simply following up on it. It is, dare I say it, surprisingly wholesome?”

“I think the last story kinda fried your brain, Marcie. Nothing about this is wholesome!”

“Hm anyways, Felicia gets teased mercilessly by her sisters, since they all won their race. That is an interesting pivot.”

“The chapters are getting longer too, suddenly.”

“And there is characterization in there? A little bit at least? I must say I am surprised...oh wait.”

“What?”

“That is a different author.”

“What!”

“Only the first eight chapters are by the original author, then somebody else took over. I hate when they do that.”

“What the actual fuck! These eight chapters were all short as fuck too! Write some more you lazy high school drop out!”

“Whelp, it is what it is. Unfortunately that means we can not follow Felicia any longer. Shame, I was just getting into it.”

“I didn’t. But hey, at least we finished early!”

“Umm...actually Gina. Since we only covered eight chapters….”

“Oh, fuck.”

“...we need to get back and choose a different option.”

“ughh...fine”

“Let’s pick Lisa this time. I like competitive girls.”

“Sure.”

It happened so fast when he caught her. She was running free, then she felt a firm hand on her left hip. Before she knew it she had stopped and he was pushing her down. She wanted to be defiant, but her strength failed her as her hormones overtook her. She was soon in the same submissive position that her sisters had taken. The position she had never before let a man put her in. Most horrifying of all, she felt herself undoing her bikini bottom in the ultimate act of surrender.

“We have a bit more of a race this time, although that is not saying much. The girls lose ridiculously fast.”

“So much for being competitive! What the fuck! Rina would smoke those chumps!”

“Yes, but Rina is hardly normal. There’s a bit of casual misogyny going on, but it is not completely overbearing. Although I think that has more to do with the authors lack of creativity then anything.”

“Great, so next…”

“We can’t Gina.”

“What?”

“The author stopped here again.”

“What the actually fuck!”

“It is what it is.”

“Did that lazy middle school quitter ever write anything beyond a few chapters?”

“While it is a bit against the rules, let me check. Ah yes, but we have to circle all the way back to the beginning.”

“Ugh!”

“Gina please, these chapters are so short we can read an entire branch in five minutes.”

“So this time the cavemen asked the girls straight out if they want to fuck. And we have a fuckload of options. We pick the ones were the girls say no. Obviously.”

“Alright.”

“Another bunch of choices, this time about some bullshit steal the flag to own the libs, nonsense.

“Pathetic Juvenilism. I am glad I outlawed all these immature fraternities and sororities when I took over Pasdenom college. The only flag a student body shall salute to is the flag of the student council!”

“You mean your flag.”

“Let us not mince the details, Gina. Are we taking the challenge of stealing the flag?”

“Fuck no!”

“Alright, alright.”

“Oh, wow, despite my best efforts, one of the sluts STILL gets fucked!”

“I understand why so many stories opt for the cheap magical **** powers route. This is still all consensual, which makes it rather hard to believe why these frat boys have such an easy time scoring.”

“Yeah yeah and then..”

“No, Gina.”

“OH COME ON! This time the he only got it up to chapter 6! He gets lazier as we read! Next time finish grade school, you fuck!”

“We should have stolen the flag, Gina.”

“Grrr. Fine! We steal the stupid flag! It better be worth it.”

“The girls come up with a plan, one of them serves as a distraction while the other sneak into their clubhouse.”

“Everyone in this story has the IQ of a houseplant.”

"...so tell me more about your organization's proud history" Beth said to half a dozen blank faces.

“I do not think this author is particularly interested in expanding upon the lore of this riveting tale.”

“The heist continues. I am on the edge of my seat, Marcie.”

"Oh, a heist, that would have been cool. Maybe we should pull out and plan one" said Sarah.

"I'm too close to pull out now" said Lisa, to which Felicia added helpfully "and if we don't hurry up we won't be the only ones saying that."

“Not as good as the mount and do joke, but I still give points for trying.”

“I give a kick in the balls”

“So, the girls have snuck upstairs and. Oh, that is the last chapter.”

“Who cares! It’s chapter ten! We done! We won! Fuck you! Start over from Kindergarten!”

“Congratulations, Gina.”

“Thanks, and now to finish off this review with as much effort as the writer put into this story.”