Days of near-constant innuendo later...

Andrew put his fingers to the golem's forehead. A moment later she was on her feet, looking at him haughtily.

"Hello," she sighed in a weary English accent. She sat down and pouted. "I suppose you've been a naughty boy."

Andrew couldn't hide his disappointment. "Really?"

"Darling, it's gotten a bit... stale," she said gently. "I'm starting to think you're avoiding your dear girlfriend."

"What?" Andrew asked with a jolt. "No, what the fuck? Why would you say that?"

"Look," she said as she patted the bed next to herself, "I certainly am the Devil, but even I have my limits. Do want to know a devilish little secret?"

Andrew sat and she leaned forward slowly, her breath hot on his forehead. She put her lips to his right ear.

"I'm not the devil," she told him, her breath room temperature.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She sat back and smiled. "I'm a shoddy personality composite of Audrey Hepburn, a bunch of Liz Hurley characters, and just a pinch of Daniel Craig's Bond. I'm as sexy and elegant and dangerous and real as Lara fucking Croft. Do I make you horny, baby?"

"That isn't even the right movie!" Andrew objected. The devil chuckled and laid back on the bed.

"Oh, Andrew, would you lighten up?" she asked. "If you're gonna dodge the bird to hang out with me let's be honest. I'm the devil, after all. If there's one thing I can't abide, it's dishonesty."

"I thought you weren't the devil," Andrew scoffed. She pulled him down beside her and laughed again, a strangely sincere and spontaneous chuckle that disoriented Andrew for a second.

"The devil's second greatest trick," she said with a mischievous grin. "is convincing you she doesn't exist."

"Yeah?" Andrew sat up and began to trace lazy circles on her chest with his fingertips. He raised his eyebrows and gestured expectantly.

"Therapy," she said and Andrew snort-laughed. The devil laughed too, then turned to him. His hand was caught between her almost smoothy, creamy breasts and he shuddered.

"Let's try something," she said. "I'm Maria, just not the Maria that you're spending less time with. You can put a dozen different scripts in here and I'll always be some variant of Maria. So why don't we give me a different name? It'll feel weird and **** at first, since my Maria is transcendently imprinted onto me, but it might help. What do you think?"

"Sure," Andrew said. "How about Lucy?"

The devil snorted. "I'm not one of your silly Charlie Brown villains. I rather like Tiamat."

"Compromise?" Andrew offered. "Lilith?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Think of me as Lilith. Not another script inside your girlfriend, but a friend of yours who has never met her. What exactly are you avoiding?"

"I don't know," Andrew said. "I'm not really trying to avoid her. It's just... she's so intense."

She gestured to her tits. "She looks like this. And she's too intense? Andrew, dear, what's really the problem?"

"I just get exhausted sometimes," he said. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to fuck with her script to tone her down, but I just need a-"

"Why not?" Lilith asked.

"Well, I mean, that's who she is," he said. "I'm not just gonna tweak my girlfriend. That would be... I mean, I just don't wanna start down that path."

Lilith laughed, her chest jiggling enticingly. Andrew frowned.

"Andrew, my dear, you are thinking like a human," she said. "Have you asked our Maria what she thinks of being modified?"

"I haven't, because I don't want to modify her, because I l-"

"Yes, of course," she interrupted. "You're not the first person to try to convince me you're in love. But let me ask you this: If Maria had the power to change your body at will, would you ask her to do anything?"

"That's not the same!" he cried. "Getting liposuction doesn't change who I am!"

"It would for me," Lilith said, her tone serious. "I'm not just my script. But more to the point, the way you feel about a little nip or tuck is how we feel about, say, removing an irritating habit. How many addicts wish they could just turn that switch off?"

Andrew started to protest but she stopped him. "Just ask her, ok? See what she says. Or fuck a circus clown with a lisp, I don't care. You're rather getting on my nerves and I'd like-"