Daphne Seeks Honor on the MM Battlefield (With Airika as a Shieldmaiden)

Daphne

Daphne is once again on the prowl for a review partner.

Most of her harem-sisters have discouraged her from continuing to seek Gina’s approval. Skye took Daphne to Mommy and Me play dates with some of the harem’s younger kids; the other moms were nice, but Daphne is not one to sit and gossip while keeping an eye on toddlers. Toddlers are supposed to be eating their way through large fish, not jungle gymming. Alex offered to teach Daphne the lute, so she could join her band and find fulfillment in music, and she’s been practicing to please her wife, but it’s not her. Scarlet keeps talking to her about seeking help to work through her issues so she doesn’t need validation from weirdoes on the Internet anymore, and she’s been bugging one of the temple priestesses about it, but they only been encouraging her to keep writing. Josie, of course, pushes Daphne to make friends with some of the girls at the gym, and she has shown up to some beginners’ classes, but pumping iron isn’t her either. Her Beloved is more subtle about it, but even she is trying to get Daphne to branch out in different ways to make some new friends.

Still, her Beloved’s bratty bird is up for review nonsense, at least until the grog runs out.

“Heya, Daph!” Airika shouts from the reserved table at The Sultry Siren. The mermaid plops down in Airika’s lap.

“Ready for another review?”

“That gooner whelp still on your brain, eh? Well, as long as you’re buying, and the story is interesting, I will play along. What’s it this time?”

“Lustful Valhalla, by someone named RejectTed.”

“That sounds like an Alex story, lass.”

“She already said no.”

“She’s still annoyed that you got her zapped and shot the last time? What happened to her marriage vow to put up with your shenanigans?”

“Yes. And we didn’t have a shenanigans vow. You were at our wedding!”

“Well, that was your first mistake. The second was assuming I would remember anything about your wedding. Still, why do you think this yarn will interest me?”

“Main character is a pirate?”

“Better be less lame than that Emrys dweeb.”

“Let’s find out!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Mermaid! We got a mermaid story!”

“Daph,” Airika points out, “the girl is a human in a seashell bikini.”

“BOO! Both for teasing a mermaid protagonist and covering up her egg sacs.”

“Anyways, this first chapter likely doesn’t matter. It’s a cold open to the setting. A sexy cold open, but a cold open nonetheless. Liz is our protagonist, a merchant wife turned pirate queen turned corpse. She wakes up in an improved body with some fresh tats and ink! Not a bad deal, being dead.”

Daphne gulps, “You sure about that, Airika? Liz is in some kind of straight jacket and the first person she meets is a BDSM meanie that calls herself ‘The Mistress.’ And Valhalla seems to be a brothel afterlife, despite what the cold open hinted at?”

“Eh, don’t knock the BDSM play until you try it, Daphne of the sexy chompers. Our Mistress likes to punish me. In fact, we are totally picking that punishment choice!”

They read the consequences of this first choice: the mermaid with disgust, the siren with glee.

“Ouchie. That all sounds painful.”

“Sounds like a good time to me. I wonder how much it would take to wind our Cap’n up enough to want to do that to me?”

“You really want to be lead around by egg extractor clamps in an arm binder? Then spanked by a bunch of strangers?”

“At least the harem-family equivalent of it,” Airika explains, “Oh, to be tied down to the dining room table and any of you girls sauntering over to paddle my booty to our hearts’ content. And Liz seemed to have a decent time with it.”

Daphne looks at the bratty birdie. “I don’t understand you sometimes.”

“Eh, we all have our kinks, Daph. Four words: ‘giant, leaky egg sacs.’”

Daphne blushes as she tries to change the subject back to the review, “Anyways, Liz finishes her spanking **** and The Mistress walks her around the BDSM fair. Liz gets to taste a cowgirl (not a hu-cow, a girl dressed in western wear), then gets shoved into a box for shipping.”

“A box with a couple of tongue leeches,” Airika quips. She is teasing her parrot’s nest as she talks, “Oh, this scene is so hot. Imagine if our Cap’n could summon extras of her tongue! And then tied me up and just let those tongues do what they will!”

Making a note for future transformation ideas, Daphne continues, squirming a little out of the way of Airika’s digits diving into the siren’s depths, “She’s let go by ‘The Governess.’ Said ‘The Governess’ gives her an outfit.”

This time, it’s Airika taking notes, “Hat, boots, pirate flag as a skirt, gold coin bikini top. Just need to figure out what flag our Mistress will find the most pirate-y. That sounds like an appropriately teasing date outfit!”

Daphne rolls her eyes. Why wear clothes? Still, she continues, “Okay, The Governess explains that Liz has a room and ample free time when not entertaining. We also meet Annelise, who seems to have quite the thick accent. I shall now coin a rule! It is called the Mira Rule, after its first violator (from Cass’s Harem Hotel season)!”

Much to the annoyance of various guests, Daphne casts Shape Water to make a bunch of drinks spell out said Merida Rule:

Thou shalt not type thine accent so thick that it requireth several times longer for thine reader to decode!

Then, Daphne pulls out coin to buy the bar a round. The guests are no longer all that annoyed.

“Anyways, choice time, Daph. Enjoy the outside view or find the room?”

“Outside?”

“Outside leads us to a hut on the beach and we meet Citrine, who was mentioned in the cold opening.”

“Where’s my mermaid?!?!?!?” Daphne demands. Then, less forcibly, “and where are the sharks for Gina?”

“Citrine complains about her forfeit then takes a sorta-clothed shower. Another choice Daph: gladiatrix time, check out the quarters, or speak to The Governess?”

“Well, that last choice will lead to the end of our wandering, I bet. Fight watching first?”

“Looks like Liz discovers Valhalla’s equivalent of TV. Anne the Merida Rule violator and a roller derby girl versus Canadian gender swapped slasher movie villain. Goes about as well as you would expect. I presume we check out the quarters now?”

Daphne picks it up, “The room is nice: false seaside view, 4-post bed with a mirror in the canopy, desk chair with a dildo attachment. Not welcome is the creepy dude in the corner. Liz shoots at the guy, but it doesn’t work. Choice time: tease the creep or use the curtains on the bed to have some privacy?”

Airika’s voice is starting to pick up that sing-songy tone when she is properly aroused. So, the tone and words have a bit of a disconnect, “**** to beat the creep to **** with the dildo?”

“Nope.”

“Privacy it is.”

Daphne starts to join in on the public masturbation at this point. Between the feel and smell of Airika’s arousal, the singing tone of the siren’s voice affecting all who hears it, and the scene they just read, the mermaid’s not-cloaca is begging for some attention. “Okay, this is another hot scene. Liz discovers the joy of modern vibrators. As an old timey pirate, this is a novel experience for her. And, for some reason, this clit piercing doesn’t creep me out as much as the one Bri got in Pipeweed Dreams. Maybe because this one isn’t described as having teeth?”

“You mean pirates where she is from haven’t discovered the joy of magitech sex toys? That was like half the booty we’d collect in my swashbuckling days?”

“Liz seems to be from a mundane world, so…”

Airika looks so sad, “Oh, poor Liz.”

Daphne notes, “Enough side tales, as we have run out of them. Time to talk to The Governess. Liz needs to pick her entertainment duty and opts for this weird competitive dunk tank game? She’s put on top of a dunk tank and so is some other girl. They are both given appropriate weapons (a belay pin for Liz, a basesball bat for the other girl) and the guests throw aphrodisiac enhanced water balloons at them. Liz tries and fails at batting the balloons away, then tries dodging with better success. Eventually, she gets too horny to think and the seat disappears as she starts to cum. The water ruins the orgasm. That’s mean. She should have at least got the consolation prize of a good orgasm.”

Airika teases, both with her lilt and her words, “Hey, sometimes you want your orgasm ruined, Daph. Well, The Governess reminds Liz about her sidearm. And Liz blasts The Governess to get even.”

“Yeah! Expose those egg sacs, Liz!”

“Then Liz teams up with other girl in a three phase race. Phase one is a three-legged race. Phase two is an egg balance race. Phase three is the sexy bit. The egg is inserted in Liz’s briny depths, where is turns into a dildo. Liz inserts the other end inside other girl’s cunt and it turns into a wheelbarrow race. They win! And we’ve run out of story.”

“BOO! This was really good and I didn’t want it to stop!” Daphne moans, digits still digging into her sea cave.

Airika’s been plundering her ship’s hold for most of the review, so she’s nearly ready to cum. She offers, “This was way better than that other pirate story. I really like the - what’s the fancy term - diction? The way the story used highfalutin’ words to convey how Liz the educated pirate would be thinking.”

“And the variety of not-cloaca puns are appreciated.”

“Aye! Liz is a much better pirate than Emrys, that dork. She’s sexy and seems much more willing to roll with the situation and have sexy fun. In fact, let’s do a quick list.”

The siren pulls out a writing quill and grabs a cocktail napkin. She entitles it Airika’s Ranking of Grand Gangplankers (ARGG):

1. Liz (Lustful Valhalla)
2. Sandara (Magic Pirate)
3. Emrys (also in Magic Pirate)

“Now, we need more pirate stories in the MM review docket, so I can shove that nerd lower down the list!” Airika is fully singing now. The topless waitress’s egg extractors are at full attention. Daphne’s have been there for a while.

“On the negative, there are a bunch of spelling mistakes, mostly of the autocorrect word swap variety, but that is a minor quibble. Now, Fish, I am mighty ready for a roll in the hammock. How about you?”

Daphne finally gets out of Airika’s lap. She offers her not briny hand to the siren. “I could go for some harem-sister sexy times.”

“Good! One moment please!” Airika pulls out her phone, quickly fires off a couple of texts, then returns it to her inventory. The siren smirks as Daphne’s phone fires of a text notification.

Daphne sees Airika sent a group chat message to both Tyalangan and Daphne. The mermaid reads: “Cap’n, I really think we should invite Marcie and Gina over on a regular basis! Daphne should totally be best friends with them! They will not be a bad influence on her or the kids at all!”

Sure enough, Airika’s bondage transformation triggers as their Beloved reads the message (and, therefore, gets goaded into annoyance). Golden egg extractor clamps appear, along with a chain that connects both of them to the ring in her golden collar. Golden handcuffs locks her arms behind her back.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

The siren nods. A ring gag forms in her mouth, her tongue lewdly threaded through it.

Daphne grabs the end of the chain and starts to tug. It’s going to be a long walk back to the castle. The mermaid wonders if the siren will regret this by the time they get there.