Cool For Cats

"Ok guys" Jody began. "You'll be backstage with her and when we cue in the music, you lift up the cage, bring it out and slowly carry it around the stage in a circuit so everyone gets a good view of her from all angles."

"Don't mind me. I'm just stuck here in this frigging cage."

"Oh stop moaning No-E. So, can you see if you can lift her ?" G-Rod and the King were both strong young guys and using the handles on the side of the cage were easily able to lift Debbi off the ground. "Ok, so we'll try it. Kind of walk leisurely in time with the music" Jody urged. "So, cue music" she called to Deacon. A vaguely familiar instrumental began to play over the speakers. "What's that ?" asked Lynn. "It's the theme from the Pink Panther" said Jody. "Pink Panther ? Never heard of it" said Lynn. "It's some ancient movie from way back in the sixties or whenever. My grandad loves watching it. It seems to be on every Christmas."

G-Rod and the King were slowly walking the caged Debbi in a circle. Jody was satisfied with how this would be seen by the audience and the TV cameras. "But she's not a panther. She's supposed to be a cat." Lynn was still focused on the music. "Well, a panther's a cat innit ?" argued Jody. "Bloody big cat" said Lynn. "That's what they call them in the zoo innit ? Lions and tigers and that. Big cats. It's all feline."

"When do I get out of here ?" wailed Debbi. Jody ignored that, instead telling her "Put a bit of effort in No-E. Kind of hiss and snarl and brandish your claws. We'll get you long nail extensions on the night." Debbi half heartedly made an attempt to follow these instructions. "Yeah, well, tonight's only a first run through. You can practice that at home" Jody called on witnessing the unimpressive result. The tune was coming to an end. "Ok guys. So, as the music ends you arrive in the center of the stage and put the cage down."

"When do I get out of here ?"

"For goodness sake, how many more times. Don't be so impatient. Anyway, as it happens, you get out now. G-Rod, as the music changes and segues to the next tune, you open the front flap and then you crawl out No-E. Let's try that. Deacon, go back a bit on the panther thing and then run the segue." Jody was in full on director mode. The theme from the Pink Panther began to fade and as G-Rod opened the flap to the front of the cage, Debbi recognized the intro to Love Cats by the Cure. "Hey, I know this one" said Lynn. "My mum's got it at home."