Contagion 63X - Viral Transformation, by Aroband

“A Virus, Marcie? Seems a bit insensitive.”

“I would like to say that this predates Covid, but the first chapter was uploaded in February of 2020, right at the start of the pandemic.”

“So, this guy used a plague as inspiration. Fucking great.”

“Most likely. Merry Christmas to you all. We are reading Contagion 63X - Viral Transformation, by Aroband”

“That is a lot of tags...”

“Hm, the tag list actually manages to eclipse Lois Lane's, that is quite impressive.”

“Lets see, Bimbo, bimbo transformation, blonde bimbo, bimbo nurse, dumb bimbo, bimbofication and finally...binbo. The fuck is a Binbo, Marcie?”

“A Binbo is a typo. Lets get on with it alright?”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Well, I'm sure the readers are surprised to learn that this was both absolutely horrifying and vomit inducing.”

“I think for once we can agree on something, Gina.”

“You do the summary, I need a moment to collect myself.”

“This is the story about a strange virus that turns people into abominations. Most often sex related ones. We follow Patient Zero, who sets out to infect the whole world with said virus.”

“Aiden, some scrawny shithead, gets infected and turns into pretty much god. Also a complete dick. Multiple dicks, even.”

“About the only redeeming thing about him is that the virus screws with his brain, potentially overriding his morality. But aside from the very first few chapters he shows not a hint of remorse for bringing about the apocalypse.”

“We had plenty of scumbags protagonists already, but even so, this one is probably Top three material right?”

“Hmm...he is about on Par with the protagonist from Bringer of light, But not quite on the level of Sophie Underwood.”

“Who's that again?”

“The girl that eats planets as candy.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“So yes, top three sounds about right. Aiden is vain, megalomaniac, quick to anger, has a colossal sex drive and not very smart.”

“So basically you?”

“How rude. I am very smart.”

“Uhu.”

“But seriously, the author really goes all out with creating the most unlikable piece of filth imaginable. Unfortunately, he is also very boring, so boring in fact that I don't even feel like getting angry.”

“Still sounds like you.”

“You are trying my patience, Gina.”

“Yeah, Yeah. Mr. Asshole here is in school and slowly gets more and more corrupted until he finally loses it and starts people with his tentacle dicks that he can conjure up at will. This is usually the part where I complain about tentacle dicks. Unfortunately tentacle dicks are the least of our worries.”

“Eventually he runs into a professor and her students, who decide that joining him would be preferable to turning into whatever perversion Aiden envisions. They also decide to run some tests on him to figure out what exactly is wrong with him.”

“Which makes fuck all sense. The author even points out that these tests takes hours. How the fuck didn't the police or army or WHO descend upon this school full of sex zombies?”

“It seems the authorities here are just as effective as in our own school.”

“Finally the testing is done and after turning a bunch of more people, Aiden leaves the school. He gets a fairy or something, as well? I don't know.”

“While Aiden does receive a few female companions, their only defining character trait is that they are all utterly devoted to Aiden. It is hard to see them as individuals.”

As much as Adien wanted to just grab one of the women, tear her alluring and revealing clothes off and fuck her, he knew that wouldn't end well. He didn't doubt that he could hold off a few police officers, if the situation escalated, he could be in trouble.

“Oh, now he considers this! Bit late when you already turned a fucking school into pervert's paradise, you stupid fuck!”

“The story does tries to justify the disturbing lack of law enforcement. But this only makes it worse.”

A few scattered reports of a supernatural orgy breaking out in a club was sure to be ignored by officials

“This guy doesn't understand how reality works.”

“And unfortunately that is the main issue with the narrative. From here on out Aiden's modus operandi is to move through the city to various locales and infect their inhabitants. There are some attempts at being stealthy, but the grotesqueries Aiden turns his victims into are anything but.”

“Lets see, we have a living mass of dicks, a giant leviathan. Mermaids, Snakes, lots of angels and demons. And each one of these is in turn infecting others as well.”

“My calculation predicts that this rate of exponential growth would cause the city to be overrun by 6:30 P.M.. Unfortunately, that does not happen.”

“Yeah, because that would actually be interesting.”

“If there was some sort of rhyme or reason to Aiden's conquest or at least a counter offensive by the government, this could make for a pretty entertaining setting. But this is not the case. At least in the 50 chapters we read there is no perceived progress to this infection. Everyone is just living in blissful ignorance.

“Alright, so Aiden decided to corrupt a hotel and goes once more for the sneaky approach. Why is Aiden such a douchey little shit? Even his name sounds douchey.”

“Fun Fact: Aiden has its origin in Irish mythology and means little fire.”

“More like little shit.”

“Do you wish to tell us about how Aiden goes about infecting the hotel, Gina?”

“Ugh. Operation Aiden's Mansion entails corrupting one women so that she gets super pregnant, births out little worm babies, that proceed to wiggle through the air vents to infect more victims.”

“And this isn't even the worst part in it. There is one case of snuff, that is so vile that it might violate the no excessive rule. After long deliberation I decided to not quote, but link to the relevant chapter. That said, I doubt you need more context then the chapter title POP.”

“I almost had to puke on that.”

“Correction. You did puke. All over me.”

“Suck it up. My puke is still less disgusting then this story.”

“One thing I can not fault the author is his creativity. There is a certain fascination to it. You just can't help but wonder what monstrosity he conjures up next. It reminds me a bit of the works of Junji Itō, only with none of the substance.

“Well, we got Marcie's pretentious reference for the day, soo, we just about done here? I don't want to vomit again.”

“I would say so. We stopped reading just as Aiden was about to crush a wedding reception.”

“Well, he ruined a birthday party earlier, so that's the next logical thing. Wonder when he goes after Christmas.”

“I feel like I do need to point out that there where in fact a few branches with other protagonists, but I decided to stick with Aiden.”

“Great job, Marcie. That was clearly the worst option.”

“As for the writing itself, it was fine. I know the quoted paragraph ironically has a typo, but these where really far and few inbetween. The really issue with this story is the way it is structured and its lack of progression.”

“And Dickbag Mcprotag, I guess.”

“About that. There is nothing wrong with villain protagonists, but there needs to be something compelling about them. From the stories we featured, I'd say Jack Dingle from the submission accelerator is the greatest example on how to write an absolute scumbag.”

“I thought you hated that one?”

“Precisely. Jack infuriates me and despite the fact that Aiden is technically more evil I do not feel any hate towards him. As I stated earlier, Aiden bores me. He reminds me of the archtypical evil overlord that gets betrayed by his far smarter minion.”

“Sounds familiar...”

“Gina, one more word and I transform YOU into a cum balloon.”