Confessions

I wake up with a pounding headache and a hazy recollection of the previous night, I groan as I get up. "Oh runt, you're up" Quinara says having been waiting on her bed for me to wake "we need to talk about last night". My blood freezes "oh fuck what did I do?" Quinara lets out a soft laugh, "relax runt you're not in trouble... In fact quite the opposite. I wanted to thank you, I don't get people standing up for me often" instantly the cruel jokes of the men from the night before fill my memory and I remember my drunken standoff. I also then remember what I had admitted along with my defence of her.

She sits on her bed studying me with her yellow eyes before she continues, "so I wanted to ask did you mean it? When you said I was the best thing that ever happened to you" Quinara looks at me expectantly. I feel my heart pounding in my ears and my hands get clammy as I internally panic wondering what the right answer would be. "Y-yes I meant it" I stammer, she looks confused I can't read whether it was a positive answer or not "why?"

I take a deep breath "when I met you my life was in crumbles and I was as good as dead, ever since then you've saved my life again and again. I could spend an entire lifetime trying to repay that debt and come up short... I know I paid you and maybe you do see this as just a job, but I hope this isn't just a paycheck for you because you've changed my life in every way. You've taught me so much, not just fighting but about life, I used to have nightmares about orcs as a kid, terrified that one would come for me. You made me realise that orcs aren't these monsters, I feel safer with you than.... Than I ever have with anyone else, you're incredible" I state emphatically. I then take another deep breath and continue "a-and not just that but erm fuck how do I say this... I think I've erm" I stammer flustered turning crimson. Quinara remains silent, normally she would mock me for being flustered but right now she was just hearing me out "I-I adore you as more than just a friend... or bodyguard" I finally manage to say.

I look down at the floor unable to muster the confidence to look at her my heart was in my throat, I wonder if just like Elyn I'm pining after someone who wasn't interested, I couldn't bear it. Quinara clears her throat "Huck" she says softly, not runt "she's using my name because she wants to let me down easy" I think to myself "I..." She hesitates likely thinking of how to best word her rejection to not hurt my feelings. "I like you too", "of course another reje.... WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE JUST SAY!?" My internal dialogue in sheer disbelief, I look up to her face searching for any cruel trick or weird smirk but there was nothing her eyes open and honest.

"W-what?" I squeak barely able to register my voice over the heavy thumping of my own heart, Quinara holds her gaze looking straight into my eyes "I said I like you too". I still didn't fully believe it "why?" I ask nervously I mean what did this woman see in me, "eh you're cute, helpless but cute. You don't think I'm a monster which is... Rare" she says clearly still upset with how she was treated, "and lastly most importantly, I think you're a good person. I'm a pretty good judge of character and I think you have a good heart, ru- Huck" she say cutting off her usual nickname for me. "Um you can still call me runt" I say to her, she raises an eyebrow, "w-well you like calling me it and I-I've gotten used to it" I stammer nervously almost ashamed to admit it but I had grown fond of being called runt, it may have began as an insult but it was now intertwined with the very idea of her and was a name I bore proudly. Quinara chuckles softly "very well runt" she smiles at me, a toothy grin punctuated by her tusks, her rich yellow eyes focused on me, I was enamoured.

"H-hey so you know erm instead of taking me to elven city what if we did what you suggested? Go into orc territory find a small town and what if y-you stayed with me?" I ask hopeful this was certainly bold but if I didn't ask I wouldn't forgive myself. Quinara's eyes widen "No!" She says quickly crushing my dreams, "I mean no we can't, at least not in orc territory it's not safe", my head was spinning did this mean it was a maybe? "I thought you said orc territory would be safe", "it would be, for you... I can't stay in orc territory for too long they would find me", she explains, her voice almost trembling with fear? She was scared, I didn't think she was scared of anything, "who would find you?"

I see the conflict on her face, this wasn't something she wanted to share, a close guarded secret but she also knew that if we were to act on our mutual attraction to each other, she would need to let me in. She battles with her thoughts before very reluctantly standing up and joining me on my bed sitting next to me. "I need to tell you something, it's a... Long story, one that I haven't told anyone before" she says it was clear she was letting me in, putting trust in me with her secrets and this was not something I took lightly.