Comments and Feedback

Hello all. Thank you for reading this far and reaching the end of this thread.

This is my very first attempt at writing and I know I must have made some mistakes along the way. I would like some comments and feedback about the thread to try and improve myself. What did you like of my style and more importantly what do you think I can improve.

This thread, which starts with "White Knight", has a companion Chapter, "Nicole POV - The Game so Far" which helps setup the thread. If you haven't read it, please do so. This main thread also has a side or companion thread that circles back to the main thread, this has the following chapters.

1. Meanwhile Downstairs.
2. Sarah and Ice Cream.
3. Kitchen Fun.
4. Ice Cream Float.
5. Getting into the Swing of It.

I was uncertain about making this side thread has something separate or to incorporate it within the main thread. I decide to make it a separate thread for the following reasons: 1. I was uncertain about the pacing of the main story, 2. I didn't know if the chapters would be too long, 3. I thought it would give other authors an opportunity to add to the story. What do you think? Was this a good Idea or should they have been kept together?

If you could leave some feedback in the comment section of message me through the site, I will try to use it to improve my style, and organization if possible.

thank you for your help and for reading these stories.