Coincidence and Consequence

“I’m guessing this whole thing is about that girl on your phone screen. Was she the one who called?” Cassie asks you with a raised eyebrow, curious who the girl in the photo was.

“You saw that?” you asked her embarrassed.

“That's all I can see right now actually.” She replies.

“What?” you asked in panic.

“I can’t see your app, remember?” Cassie says with a laugh. You’re reminded that that’s the case, but why did it have to get stuck on Celeste’s photo?

“Would you like to talk about it?” Cassie asks again while still rubbing your chest.

“There really isn’t anything to talk about. She’s my cousin, Celeste. Yes, she’s the one who called earlier. The one staying over this weekend.” You tell Cassie.

“And you just randomly decided to look at her photo…” Cassie says, putting the pieces together. “And then you decide to ponder the question of whether what you want is wrong or not.” Cassie adds, practically solving the puzzle.

You stay silent, not wanting to outright confirm that what she’s implying is basically what happened. She’s used to your silences by now when she’s playing Sherlock, and assumes her guesses are correct.

“Tell me about her.” Cassie suddenly suggests. “She didn’t seem familiar to me based on her picture.” Cassie adds.

“No. She wouldn’t be. This is the first time she’s coming to visit me since Stella was born.” You tell Cassie.

“Oh wow, that long?” she reacts.

“Well, we get to see her whenever we visit back home during the holidays for a family reunion. My aunt’s family, I mean her mom’s family, lives near where I grew up, so that side of the family usually meets up there.” you tell Cassie.

“You grew up with her?” Cassie asks.

“Yeah, she was around a lot back then. Birthdays, barbecues, random sporting events…” you start to reminisce, and give out a chuckle when you realize the serendipity in these developments. “She used to be my babysitter.”

The revelation makes Cassie slap you in the chest, as if her rubbing earlier was just in preparation for this one hard slap. You flinch in pain, Cassie forgetting how hard her slaps can be as a volleyball player. Cassie laughs and apologizes, but she’s in disbelief at that little tidbit too.

“You developed feelings for her!” Cassie excitedly surmises.

“I wouldn’t say feelings. I had a crush at most. A really juvenile and puberty driven one.” you correct Cassie. She laughs at how you described your crush on Celeste, but she understood what you meant.

“But a crush nonetheless.” Cassie adds.

“But a crush nonetheless.” you repeat.

“And still a subsisting one from the sound of it.” Cassie adds.

“So I’m guessing whatever trait you bought would be to make her more attracted to you?” Cassie asks, and for the first time tonight, she didn’t guess right and you actually tell her she’s wrong this time instead of being silent.

“Really? I thought that’s why you were struggling so much.” Cassie admits. You ask her what she means by that and she explains, “I mean, I thought you were struggling with the idea of actually brainwashing someone into liking you.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” you tell her honestly. “Plus, I think the app doesn’t work that way. It can help you make it easier, but you still have to do something to make them actually like you.” You explain to her, but you’re not really sure to what extent the power of the app actually goes.

“She’s not married or has a boyfriend does she!?” Cassie asks, hoping that you wouldn’t go that far. You immediately answer she’s divorced, same as you, and that you wouldn’t even think about using the magic of the app to potentially inflict the same pain you went through with Diane.

“Then what were you struggling about? I kinda hate it that I didn’t guess it right after following all the breadcrumbs you’ve been leaving for me.” Cassie asks, sounding genuinely disappointed at her incorrect guess. In fact, even you are surprised she didn’t guess it correctly. What else could you have bought that would help you with your cousin, outside of actually making it okay to try and be with your cousin? Unless...

“Hey Cassie, what do you think about me possibly dating my cousin?” you ask her directly.

“You already know how I feel about that, Jay.” she answers you. You do?

She sees your look of confusion and looks concerned that you’d forgotten her opinion about it already. “I mean, you’re going on a date with Ms. Tanya tomorrow. I would’ve thought that would’ve made it clear I’m really okay with you exploring your feelings for other women already.” Cassie explains, not really getting that that’s not the part you’re asking about.

“Plus, I’d be a hypocrite to want to stop you from finding out if someone you grew up liking actually likes you back.” Cassie adds, showing the parallel of her relationship with you, and your relationship with Celeste.

“But don’t you think it’s wrong that I’m attracted to my cousin?” you finally ask her as clearly as you can, in hopes she understands what you’ve been struggling with.

“Why would it be wrong?” she responds, still very much confused as to what you’re trying to get at for some reason.

“I mean, because it’s… because it’s… ****.” You finally say the dirty words out loud, albeit under your breath, but you hope there’s no more confusion on Cassie’s part.

“I mean, I guess for anybody else I’d find it disturbing.” She answers you, and it dawns on you why that is. “But I trust you, and I love you, and I think you deserve to find happiness with whoever that may be. So I really don’t think it’s weird for you, just because she’s your cousin.” Cassie adds.

A part of you knows that’s true. She’s not lying about her love for you, or her trust, or her belief that you deserve to find happiness; but you know for a fact that you removed a crucial element in her forming an honest opinion. Probably why she couldn’t deduce what you bought from the app.

Her last few guesses weren’t the only wrong ones she made tonight. She was wrong about one other thing too. You haven’t even slept yet and you know your world has changed drastically already.