Chapter 36: Sake Breath and Way Too Trusting Parents! Since When Am I the Only Sane One?!

The night was cool when they left the cat place, and the group broke apart along the way. Nemuri was the first to say goodbye, a taxi already waiting for her on the corner.

"I'm definitely taking home the memory of the best show of the month," she said with an amused smile as she climbed into the taxi. "Take care, okay? And you, Midoriya..."

She pointed at his hand with a teasing look.

"You'd better let it rest. Wouldn't want Rumi ripping it off and deciding to keep it as a souvenir."

"I'll do my best, Kayama-san," Izuku answered, still rubbing his battered fingers.

Thank god I managed to hide the boner, phew. Still don't come off as a total perv.

Rumi stretched with a yawn before heading off on her own.

"I'm out." She jabbed a finger into Izuku's chest. "And you'd better not forget you owe me a training session, brainiac."

"It's front and center on my list, don't worry."

"It'd better be." She threw one last look at Yu. "And you, rookie... I still don't buy that draw. Next time I'm going for the win."

"Anytime, bunny ears," Yu shot back, arms crossed. "Bring a tissue for next time."

Rumi let out a laugh and vanished with a leap across the rooftops, leaving the street a whole lot quieter.

So the three of them were left, with Ibara walking in the middle as a couple of vines swayed lazily around her shoulders. Suddenly she stopped and covered her face with both hands.

"May the Lord have mercy on me..."

"Ibara, what's wrong?" Izuku turned toward her, worried.

"I can smell the alcohol..." she murmured. "When I get home, I shall surely reek like a tavern. My parents will notice at once... Oh, Lord. How am I to present myself before them in this state?"

"You didn't even drink that much," Izuku tried to reassure her. "It was only a few drinks."

Ibara slowly lowered her hands.

"For my family, wine belongs to the wedding at Cana, not to a disciple who returns home late at night smelling of ferment." She pressed both hands to her cheeks. "They will think I have strayed from the righteous path."

Yu, who until that moment had been walking in silence, stopped and looked her up and down.

"Okay, no biblical drama out here on the street," she cut in, putting a hand on her hip.

Ibara blinked.

"Biblical drama...?"

"That's right. Don't be so dramatic. I've got the solution and it's simple: you come to my place, stay the night, and tomorrow morning you head home fresh as a daisy." Yu smiled, raising a finger like she'd just solved the biggest problem in the world. "See? Problem solved."

"I could not possibly accept such a thing, Takeyama-san! Your hospitality is far too generous. I do not wish to become a burden."

"A burden? Please!" Yu let out a laugh. "I'm a pro hero. I'm supposed to make sure my teammates get home safe, right?"

"But..."

"No buts." Yu had already pulled out her phone. "Besides, letting someone head home alone at this hour when they're not in the best shape would be pretty irresponsible of me."

Ibara watched her for a few seconds, clearly torn between her embarrassment and her gratitude.

"Takeyama-san... you truly possess a kind heart."

"Ha! See? There's a reason I'm such an amazing hero." Yu raised the phone with a triumphant smile. "Now I just gotta let your parents know where you are."

Ibara went stiff.

"My... my parents?"

"Of course." Yu tilted her head. "I'm not gonna have them worrying all night. Give me their number."

Ibara paled.

"Please, wait! Perhaps we could resolve this without involving them!"

Izuku watched the scene with a raised eyebrow.

The same boss who shoved my hand under her skirt today so she wouldn't lose an arm-wrestle against Rumi is now flipping into model-hero mode? When did we switch channels?

Ibara, still hesitating, recited the number, and Yu dialed without a second thought. She brought the phone to her ear and completely changed her voice, turning it polished and charming, the same one she used to wear in her TV interviews.

"Good evening, sorry for the late hour. This is Mt. Lady, professional hero and collaborator with the U.A. admissions program. Your daughter Ibara took part today in an official prep session, and it ran a little late. So, if it's no trouble, she'll be spending the night with me. I'll personally see to it that she gets home tomorrow. You can rest easy, she'll be under my supervision."

There was a pause. Izuku strained to listen, expecting to hear questions like who exactly she was, where they were, why it had gotten so late... maybe even a demand to speak with Ibara.

But Yu just smiled.

"Yes, of course, I understand completely. Thank you so much for your trust, have a good night."

Yu hung up and gave Ibara a satisfied smile.

"Done. They were delighted you're with someone from U.A."

Izuku was stunned. This whole thing looked like a scam.

"Huh? Just like that?" he asked, eyeing the phone suspiciously.

"Just like what, Midoriya?" Yu shrugged. "I said who I was and that's that. People trust U.A."

But that's not the point!

"Boss, with all due respect..." Izuku raised a hand, looking at Yu in disbelief. "Ibara's parents just handed their daughter off to a complete stranger. Does nobody else find this weird?!"

Ibara nodded with all the solemnity she could still muster.

"U.A.'s reputation opens many doors, sensei. My parents place their full trust in the institution and in those who work alongside it."

"But they don't even know me!" Izuku pointed at himself. "And I live with her! I could be anything. A kidnapper with a spotless résumé, for example."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." Yu gave him a little tap on the shoulder. "Besides, if you were a kidnapper, you'd be the clumsiest one in history. They'd catch you before you even made it to the corner."

Am I really that bad...?

He glanced sideways at Ibara, who was already struggling to keep her eyes open.

It's official, I'm the only sane person in this city. The fact that I'm this group's sanity meter should honestly worry somebody.

Yu patted his back without losing the smile.

"Quit solving society's philosophical problems out here in the middle of the street and help me with Ibara. She's falling asleep on her feet."

He sighed and decided that one more girl in the equation didn't change much.

At this point in my life, I've lost count of how many weird messes I've gotten into. A surprise houseguest is the most normal thing that's happened to me in weeks.

\ \ \*

The apartment was quiet and dimly lit. Izuku flipped on the living room light while Yu led Ibara over to the new sofa.

"Sit for a sec while I get everything ready," Yu said.

Ibara obeyed and sank into the sofa with a sigh.

"Your home is very cozy, Takeyama-san," she commented, looking around with half-closed eyes. "And it is very clean. An orderly soul dwells in an orderly space."

"You hear that, Midoriya?" Yu threw him a look over her shoulder. "The girl's got taste. Write that down, it's the first time somebody's complimented my apartment without charging me afterward."

That was a jab at me.

"I could never charge you, boss. Admiration has no price," Izuku answered, slipping off his shoes.

Yu went to her room and came back with a huge T-shirt and some sleep pants.

"Here, put this on. It's the smallest thing I've got." Yu handed her the clothes and pointed down the hall with her thumb. "The bathroom's that way. Take a quick shower and you'll get that smell off you. Then you can sleep easy."

Ibara took the clothes in her hands and clutched them to her chest, visibly moved.

"I do not know how to thank you for such kindness, Takeyama-san."

"By behaving and not puking on my sofa." Yu winked at her. "Go on, hot water works miracles."

Ibara stood up carefully and headed for the bathroom, stumbling a little. The moment the door closed, Izuku dropped onto the sofa and stretched out his legs.

"Alright, boss, since we're sorting out sleeping arrangements, the solution's simple." He patted the cushion. "Ibara takes my bed, I stay out here on the sofa."

Yu came over quick and clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Shhh."

Izuku's eyes went wide and he tried to say something.

"Mmfh?"

"No sofa," she said, not moving her hand. "You'll wreck the upholstery, and besides, that backrest is way too hard."

Izuku gently pulled her hand away.

"Uh, Yu... a good assistant knows how to sacrifice himself. A little back pain is a reasonable price."

"Oh, yeah? How very self-sacrificing." Yu crossed her arms. "But it turns out I'm the boss, so I didn't ask you."

"Then... where am I supposed to sleep?"

Yu didn't answer right away. She played it cool, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear while she stared up at the ceiling.

"Well... since I'm an incredibly generous hero, I'll lend my bed to Ibara. And you've got your mattress made up perfectly in your room. It'd be silly for you to break your back on the sofa when you've got a bed."

What?

Izuku blinked.

"S-So... Ibara takes your bed and I go to mine..."

He crossed his arms, trying to make sense of it.

"But... where are you gonna sleep?"

"With you, obviously."

Izuku stared at her.

"Huuuh?"

"Izuku, sweetie, think a little." She gave him a light poke in the chest with one finger. "Your bed's narrow, but if we squeeze in a bit we both fit. Don't overthink it, Midoriya. You've got a bed, I'm sleepy, and the sofa is officially off the table. What more do you need?"

So embarrassing, Yu, could you be a little more subtle. So that's why you wanted Ibara to stay... Izuku rolled his eyes. This was too absurd. Didn't Yu know him well enough by now? All she had to do was say "I want to sleep with you" and he'd have said yes with a smile in a heartbeat.

Izuku leaned back against the backrest, savoring every second.

"I see."

Izuku looked at her for a long moment, with a calm that started to make Yu uncomfortable.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, uneasy.

"Nothing. Just thinking that for someone who didn't wanna kiss me the other day, she sure is eager to share a bed today."

"You!" Yu jumped, pointing at him. "Don't go getting your hopes up!"

The moment Yu disappeared down the hall, he was left alone in the living room, staring at the new sofa that had just lost its spot as the emergency bed.

I started the day as a normal assistant and I'm ending it as a cuddle pillow, hahh... What a life.

A while later, the bathroom door opened and Ibara came out, wrapped in the huge T-shirt Yu had lent her.

"Sensei..." she murmured, searching for him. "Miss Takeyama has been very kind to give up her bed for me. Still, it does not seem right that you should have to abandon your own bed on my account."

"Don't worry, Ibara. It's all sorted out." Izuku carefully guided her toward the bedroom. "The boss insisted. And once she gets an idea in her head, there's no changing her mind."

Ibara lowered her gaze slightly, an expression of gratitude on her face.

"She is a woman of great heart." Ibara let herself be led along, leaning on his arm. "And so are you, sensei. Beneath all that... all that impudence, there is a good man."

Izuku stayed silent for a few seconds.

Why do I feel like that wasn't a compliment?

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